Audiobooks narrated by David Ossman

The Old Cart Wrangler’s Saga: A Fully Blown, Full Length, Fully Baked Comic Monologue

"We’ve all seen that lone shopping cart sitting on the edge of a parking lot. Who goes and gets it and brings it home? The cart wrangler, of course. Brimming with easy humor, fantasy, and wisdom, David Ossman—of Firesign Theatre fame—gives the performance of a lifetime in this theatrical full-length monologue backed by a crack Kansas City jazz trio and recorded before a live audience at the Brick in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, on June 6, 2018. Mixing voice, eclectic jazz, and sound effects, this performance breaks sound-art boundaries and may even break your heart. Told in three parts: 1. Cart 437 or The Long Way Around 2. Cart 437 2.0 3. Cart 437 3.0 Potemkin Includes a bonus interview with David Ossman and Brian Price With Reverend Dwight Frizzell, woodwinds; Julia Thro, guitar; Patrick Alonzo Smith Conway, percussion; Tony Brewer, sound effects. Executive producers: Judith Walcutt and Jerry Stearns A production of Great Northern Audio Theatre and Otherworld Media"

Brian Price (Author), David Ossman (Narrator)

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Loose Wheels and Narrow Necks: Cart 437 and Other Slightly Dystopian Tales

"Over the years while writing, directing, and acting at radio theater workshops and in the Mark Time Radio show performances at Minneapolis’ CONvergence science fiction conventions, Brian Price and David Stearns found that they shared a love for classic Beat poetry, Lord Buckley, and prose poems, so they started doing some of their own. This is a collection of their unique hybrid of humor, music, character, and performance. “Closed Mouths and Narrow Necks”The Yellow House - West Plains, MO, May 29, 2002Bass: Thom Hoglen, Sax: Eric Elder “Cart 437” (or “The Long Way Around”)CONvergence 2006 - July 7, 2006 “The Collapse of the 20th Century Was So Gradual”Minicon 32 - March 28, 1997Piano: David Emerson “Clones Day Parade”CONvergence 2001 - July 6, 2001Piano: Mike Wheaton “Unrelated Cliffhanger Theater”CONvergence 2006 - July 7, 2006With Windy Bowlsby, Tim Wick, Charlie Meitzner, Preston Ossman, Eleanor Price, and David Ossman “Your Mileage May Vary”CONvergence 2002 - July 5, 2002With Richard FishMusic by Eleanor Price “A Cure for Science”CONvergence 2004 - July 2, 2004Trombone: Jim ten Bensel “The Tiniest Souls”CONvergence 2007 - July 6, 2007 “Under the Broken Tree Bridge” CONvergence 2008 - July 3, 2008With Eleanor PricePiano: Keith Spears “Cart 437: Part Two”Hear Now Festival - Kansas City, MO, June 9, 2016 “You Can’t Handle the Truth”CONvergence 2007 - July 6, 2007With Wally Wingert, Windy Bowlsby, Tim Wick, Preston Ossman, Eleanor Price, and David Ossman"

Brian Price (Author), David Ossman (Narrator)

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The Jewels of the 11th Generation

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), Charlie Meitzner, David Ossman, Eleanor Price, Preston Ossman, Tim Wick, Windy Bowlsby, a full cast (Narrator)

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The Learning Curve: or, The Rise of Francis

"A full-cast comedy production recorded live at Convergence in Bloomington, Minnesota What does it take to jump-start an economy? Why, consumers! So what do politicians do to jump-start an economy? They create millions of new consumers by emancipating creatures and monsters, real and fictional. But is the public ready to accept creature-made entertainment features? What do politicians care?"

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Jeffrey Adams, Preston Ossman, Tim Wick, Wally Wingert, Windy Bowlsby, a full cast (Narrator)

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The Velveteen Submission: or, The Lighthouse at the End of the Tunnel

"A full-cast comedy production recorded live at Convergence in Bloomington, Minnesota Pangborn arrives unexpectedly on a lighthouse in space, startling the caretaker and his wife. Then Ripley shows up, looking for Pangborn. Then Ripley’s father, space pirate Captain Squid, arrives looking for his daughter, and he doesn’t like finding Pangborn there too. Soon they all discover that the lighthouse is about to be smacked by an approaching passenger space cruiser unless they can do something. A hot bath is suggested. Will they all escape destruction? Will they find out who the father of Ripley’s baby is? How much of this can actually happen in only a half-hour show? Only the listener knows for sure."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Irene Ruderman, a full cast (Narrator)

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Peter Galaxy, Interstellar Envoy

"A full-cast comedy production recorded live at Convergence in Bloomington, Minnesota Peter Galaxy and his sidekick, Dr. Simon, used to be big stars on the radio. Now they’re just two retired actors playing cards on the front porch and riding herd on the grandchildren. But can these two old-timers find work for three hundred billion illegal aliens? Yeah, we wondered about that question too. We’ve always wondered what would happen if two of our favorite worlds were to collide. When Star Wars veteran and Dr. Who alumnus the late Michael Sheard joined David Ossman of the Firesign Theatre (and the voice of Mark Time himself) on stage, we found out: the universe got funnier. That’s valuable information."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Irene Ruderman, Michael Sheard, Preston Ossman, Richard Fish, Tim Wick, Windy Merrill, a full cast (Narrator)

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Dialogue with Martian Trombone

"A full-cast production recorded live at Convergence in Bloomington, Minnesota The Ramon Raquello Orchestra was supposed to get their big break that night in 1938, on Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater show, but they kept getting cut off. The rest of that program became famous. Still is. But what happened to the band? We join them many years later at a reunion, and it seems that they can’t seem to escape the influence of the Martians."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Tim Wick, a full cast (Narrator)

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Cyber Bob and the Digital Nymph

"A full-cast comedy production from the Great Northern Audio Theatre David Ossman of the Firesign Theatre returns one last time to the live, raucous stage to play Cyber Bob, who leaves his position as cart-wrangler at the Mart to lead a digital expedition into the digital glade in search of the beautiful yet elusive Digital Nymph. There’s a history between the two, and they aren’t playing … well, they are playing games. And when the Nymph asks if Cyber Bob wants to “take the leap,” there’s only one answer for the old campaigner."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Dawn Krosnowski, Kelvin Hatle, Megan Petersen, Richard Fish, Tim Wick, Windy Bowlsby, a full cast (Narrator)

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3 Wizard Tales: “High Moon,” “Tell Them NAPA Sent You,” “Wizard Jack”

"“High Moon”David Ossman, Kevin Swan, Jane Yolen, Richard Fish, Steve Perry, Kara Dalkey. Sound effects by Brian Westley. Music by David Emerson. Cover by Ken Fletcher. Recorded live at Minicon 32, March 1997, Bloomington, MN. “Tell Them NAPA Sent You”David Ossman, Michael Sheard, Windy Bowlsby, Tim Wick, Irene Ruderman, Preston Ossman, Richard Fish. Sound effects by Jerry Stearns. Music by Mike Wheaton. Recorded live at Convergence, July 2003, Bloomington, MN. “Wizard Jack”David Ossman, Philip Proctor, Melinda Peterson, Jane Yolen. Sound effects by Brian Westley. Music by Mike Wheaton. Recorded live at Minicon 33, March 1998, Bloomington, MN."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, a full cast (Narrator)

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Cyber Bob and the Silicon Kid

"A full-cast comedy production recorded live in Minneapolis Cyber Bob is the ultimate old-school computer pro. There isn’t a system out there that he can’t hack with just a couple of punch cards, so he’s ideally suited to answer the question the Silicon Kid and Nadia, the most super of all supermodels, want answered: Is the Kid a boy or just another $200 billion android?"

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), Brian Westley, David Ossman, Irene Ruderman, Jane Yolen, Orson Ossman, Preston Ossman, Richard Fish, a full cast (Narrator)

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SpaceGirl: Downloading the Legacy

"A full-cast comedy production from the Great Northern Audio Theatre Linda Kim Shelmerdine discovered her considerable powers during her hormonal years (the Sun was having similar problems then). But she read the superheroes’ guide books, and her years in 4-H helped too. Now fifty-nine, SpaceGirl is somewhat disillusioned with the way superheroism is viewed these days, both by the public and by other superheroes. But she takes her job seriously and enjoys the occasional vacations at her crater-side retreat on the moon. Her PR guys, the Hungarian Dwarf Parade, take her side at the hearings and fight for her when the lawsuits start, but there’s only so much they can do to keep her morale up."

Brian Price, Jerry Stearns (Author), David Ossman, Gordon Smuder, Megan Petersen, Melinda Peterson, Phil Proctor, Richard Fish, Tim Liebe, Tim Wick, Windy Bowlsby, a full cast (Narrator)

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The Camp Waterlogg Chronicles 11: “Firesign Gets (Camp) Waterlogged”

"Firesign Theatre’s David Ossman (as George Tirebiter), comedy legend Shelley Berman, and former SNL comedian Senator Al Franken join the cast of The Comedy-O-Rama Hour for another six misadventures of Sgt. Lefty, Ellis da Boatkeeper, Adam Maxwell, Andy, and Woody (all voiced by Joe Bev); Olive Pitts, Ellis, Mrs. Terwilliger, and Lkie (all voiced by Lorie Kellogg); Ron Drysdale and Jimmy (both voiced by James Folly); and Stinky Peter Moss (voiced by Kenny Savoy), as well as the rest of the cabal of crazy Camp Waterlogg characters. Included in this set: “Camp Waterlogg Homeland Security Needs to Go-Go-Go!”“A Happy Camp Waterlogg Father’s Day from Uncle Goopie”“A Camp Waterlogg July 4th Fundraiser”“Camp Waterlogg: Firesign Gets Waterlogged”“The Camp Waterlogg Election Special”“Camp Waterlogg: Shelley Revisited, Part 1”The Comedy-O-Rama Hour is story- and character-driven improvisation that goes beyond sketch comedy to blossom into full-fledged radio theater. Recorded in and around husband-and-wife creative team Joe Bev and Lorie Kellogg’s Napanoch, New York, house in the woods, the series first aired on XM Radio in 2002. More than 120 shows and thirteen years later, the series is heard weekly on public radio stations nationwide, streamed on the web at bearmanormedia.com, and podcast anytime all over the Internet, including on Waterlogg.com. Joe Bev says, “We have been doing most these characters for more than twelve years now and some I have been voicing for more than forty years. We no longer have to write what we want to say. The Comedy-O-Rama Hour has also evolved from a scripted to a fully improvised hour of radio theater.”"

Donnie Pitchford, Joe Bevilacqua, Lorie Kellogg (Author), Al Franken, David Ossman, Jim Folly, Kenny Savoy, Shelley Berman, Tom Giannazzo (Narrator)

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Audiobooks Narrated by David Ossman