rebus 30th anniversary make the most of Lovereading
Search our site
Are You Sleeping by Kathleen Barber Read the opening extract of the brand new Kathleen Barber book before its publication on 27/12/2017

Reader Reviewed
How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst

How I Lost You

Thriller / Suspense   Crime / Mystery   Debuts of the Month   Family Drama   eBook Favourites   eBook Favourites   
Download an extract Discuss on Facebook Discuss this book on our Crime/Mystery/Thriller Facebook group Share this book

Lovereading view...

May 2015 Debut of the Month.

Emma, who once was Susan, has served time in a psychiatric unit for murdering her twelve week old baby. She has no memory of her crime but since police, family and her doctor tell her she committed the crime she believes them. Now released with her new identity she received a photo of a toddler and this sets up a series of flashbacks involving a group of university friends. They make little sense initially but then slowly the whole begins to come together making very nasty sense indeed. You need to concentrate and follow all the threads carefully to a most rewarding conclusion. Excellent. ~ Sarah Broadhurst

If you like Jenny Blackhurst you might also like to read books by Louise Millar, Elizabeth Haynes and Alex Marwood.

The Good Book Guide logo The Good Book Guide Review. Emma Cartwright was a different person three years previously, when her name was Susan Webster. Under that identity, she murdered her twelve-week-old son Dylan and was sent to Oakdale psychiatric Institute for her crime. Released on parole early and granted a new identity and address, she is attempting to rebuild her life. Then an envelope arrives addressed to the name she no longer uses, with a photograph of a child called Dylan. Is her son, in fact, still alive? This is the intriguing premise of a novel that is very much in the idiom currently ruling the roost in crime fiction – the dark secrets hiding within families and individuals, rather than being detective-based. It is a real winner.
~ Barry Forshaw

Reader Reviews

In addition to our Lovereading expert opinion some of our Lovereading Reader Review Panel were also lucky enough to read and review this title.  You can read their full reviews by clicking here.

  • Michelle Hodson - 'This book set off at a fast pace and kept me enthralled until the very end, when all is revealed.  This is a wonderful debut novel with well rounded characters...'
  • Doreen McKeown - 'I found this book a real page-turner...the whole thing did make for a gripping story, and one which gave me a few late nights!'
  • Liz Stein - 'An ambitiously convoluted plot, with an array of characters, this book will keep you gripped from the first page till the end.'
  • Mollie Mayson-Simpson - 'Is this conclusion a little far-fetched and unlikely?  Some readers might think so, but I urge them to 'suspend their disbelief' and go with it.'
  • Sheila Dale - 'Well written and a great debut novel. I read this book in a couple of days as there is a great compulsion to see what happens next.'
  • Emma Barton - 'The book keeps you guessing about the truth and who can be trusted, but towards the last part it becomes quite ridiculous and unbelievable.'
  • Tanya Thurling - 'I finished this book in two evenings. I literally could not put it down and did the 'just one more chapter' thing a lot. It charges along from the very beginning.'
  • Suzanne Marsh - 'Jenny Blackhurst is a fantastic new talent. I will most certainly be looking out for her next novel.'
  • Alison Bisping - 'Wow!  What a book.  It was a definite page turner and I struggled to put it down.'
  • Ann Alderton - 'An intriguing psychological thriller with multiple twists...which draws the reader in from the start with its dramatic storyline of a mother convicted of killing her baby son.'
  • Reba Khatun - 'A great book.  Jenny Blackhurst is an author to watch.  What a brilliant read!  I was hooked from the blurb.'
  • Margaret Madden - 'A psychological thriller which will make you question who you should trust. A clever debut with plenty of twists and turns...'
  • Ian Harvey-Brown - 'Overall I was disappointed with this book. To me the title promised more than the book actually delivered.' 
  • Sian Spinney - 'I took a while to get in to the story but it soon became a book I couldn't put down.'

Win a Family Break to Salisbury!

Don’t miss out! Enter to win a family break to Salisbury!

Here at and we have joined with VisitWiltshire. You could see yourself indulging in the finest food and slumbering comfortably into one of the grand rooms at The Red Lion Salisbury for two nights. The Red Lion Hotel is located in medieval city of Salisbury, which is home to all your favourite stores as well as independent shops, restaurants, cafes and parks and green spaces. Nearby is Stonehenge, Salisbury Plain and numerous sites of historic and archaeological interest.

There are many seasonal events in Salisbury, and you can find out what’s on here. You will also receive a family ticket to Sir Harold Hillier Gardens, the gardens are especially beautiful in the winter, with bold coloured stems, scents, and fabulous foliage, you can be sure to be impressed. For the children there is also a play park, and you can stop off in the Victorian tea room to warm up and treat yourself to a traditional cream tea.

To have a chance of winning this fantastic prize, click the button below. Please note that this draw is open only for UK residents and is free to enter, multiple entries from the same email address will only be counted once. Entries close 31st January 2018.

Good luck!

Terms and Conditions

Red Lion: Two night stay includes breakfast for two adults and up to two children sharing a family room. Subject to availability and cannot be exchanged or redeemed for cash value. Not to be used in combination with any other offer. Valid until 1st Dec 2018 and excludes bank holidays.

Sir Harold Hillier Gardens: Valid for day entry, Not to be used for special events or group entry. Voucher is not transferable or refundable, no Cash Value. Ticket must be redeemed on entry. Valid until 31 Dec 2018. Gardens open daily from 10am – closed Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Prize admits 2 adults and accompanying children Under 17 FREE to Sir Harold Hillier Gardens.

Enter prize draw Draw closes: 31/01/2018


How I Lost You by Jenny Blackhurst

A brilliant debut psychological crime novel, for fans of THE WICKED GIRLS. They told her she killed her son. She served her time. But what if they lied? I have no memory of what happened but I was told I killed my son. And you believe what your loved ones, your doctor and the police tell you, don't you? My name is Emma Cartwright. Three years ago I was Susan Webster, and I murdered my twelve-week-old son Dylan. I was sent to Oakdale Psychiatric Institute for my crime, and four weeks ago I was released early on parole with a new identity, address and a chance to rebuild my tattered life. This morning, I received an envelope addressed to Susan Webster. Inside it was a photograph of a toddler called Dylan. Now I am questioning everything I believe because if I have no memory of the event, how can I truly believe he's dead? If there was the smallest chance your son was alive, what would you do to get him back? A compulsive, thought-provoking and thrilling novel from a fantastic new talent.


'As twisted as a mountain road, Blackhurst's fast-moving and unputdownable debut will keep you glued to your seat' -- Alex Marwood

'Utterly gripping - brilliant debut!' -- Clare Mackintosh author of I LET YOU GO

'An absolute and complete page turner that had me completely enthralled ... Definitely highly recommended for fans of psychological thrillers'

About the Author

Jenny Blackhurst

Jenny Blackhurst grew up in Shropshire where she still lives with her husband and children. Growing up she spent hours reading and talking about crime novels - writing her own seemed like natural progression. Inspired by the emotions she felt around her own son's birth, How I Lost You is Jenny's thrilling debut crime novel.

More books by this author
Author 'Like for Like' recommendations

Loading similar books...
Loading other formats...

Book Info

Publication date

23rd April 2015


Jenny Blackhurst

More books by Jenny Blackhurst
Author 'Like for Like'

Author's Facebook Latest

Loading facebook updates...
Loading twitter updates...


Headline Book Publishing an imprint of Headline Publishing Group


368 pages


Thriller / Suspense
Crime / Mystery
Debuts of the Month
Family Drama
eBook Favourites
eBook Favourites

Crime & mystery



Lovereading does a stella job in promoting both new and established authors.

Iris Clements

If you love reading, then you'll love Lovereading! Full of tips & info for every discerning reader.

Lynne Rapson

The books for review are always great reads, brilliantly written, and introduces me to a huge variety of, established and new, authors.

Lesley Hart

The best new books on the market, reviewed honestly, to give your readers the best choices.

Julie Cook

Lovereading recommends, honestly reviews and promotes books-what more can I say?!

Rachel Bridgeman

I read new, exciting writers and established authors before publication and there is a great website full of brilliant books and opinions.


Lovereading is pitched at just the right level for all the various types of people who enjoy reading in its many forms.

Pam Woodburn

Why I love @lovereadinguk? It's in the name - as dedicated lovers of reading, they are perfect matchmakers for helping me find my next read!

Catherine Jenkins