"In the surreal academic landscape of Tumbarumba, history professor Stella Pontifex discovers that grease is not merely a culinary byproduct but a metaphysical archive of human memory. As the world suffers from “The Great Sizzle” and a subsequent “thinning” of reality known as attenuation, Stella is contacted by the spirits of legendary Grease Prophets like Frank and Glen. These apparitions warn her that corporate interests and a fanatical cult, the Way of Dryness, are draining the universe of its viscosity and historical depth. To prevent existence from becoming a brittle, unseasoned husk, Stella must travel through bureaucratic afterlives and commercialised voids to understand how to preserve cosmic lubricity. Ultimately, she becomes a quiet custodian of memory, using her scholarly discipline to mend the shimmering currents of a world threatened by spiritual evaporation."
"This surreal collection of vignettes explores a world where linear time and logic have fractured, replaced by a state of “administrative continuation” where life moves sideways rather than forward. The narrative personifies the mundane, granting agency and existential dread to everyday objects like toasters, bus signs, and office printers, all of which struggle to perform their functions in a reality devoid of human purpose. Central characters like Arthur act as anchors of presence, stabilizing a city that is rehearsing its own existence amidst flickering streetlamps and clouds named after misunderstandings. Ultimately, the narrative depicts a shift from meaningful progress to a hollow, bureaucratic drift, where the burden of justification is lifted because stopping would require more paperwork than simply carrying on."
"Pope Blatantly IV wishes to return to the papal autocracy of the Middle Ages. He devises a threefold plan: 1) to enforce universal Catholic geographical supremacy, 2) to criminalize sin, and 3) to ban “grease” in favor of doctrinal “dryness.” The Pope’s outlandish initiatives include annexing Antarctica using a team of bodybuilders and gluing borders, and monetizing salvation through Indulgences 2.0 and Pre-Death Canonizations. In opposition to the Pope’s extravagant claims, the “Grease Underground,” is formed. The leader is the Grease Prophet Frank, who champions cosmic viscosity and rebellion, and who is assisted by apostles, monks, and an alcoholic priest whose miraculous flask heals the dryness. The conflict culminates in a “Greasequake,” which triggers the forced resignation of Blatantly IV, and the final scene suggests a return to theological harmony as Grace and Grease emulsify."
"Where do we go after we die? In this story the protagonist, Oscar Whatmore, dies and finds himself transported to a rundown spiritual realm, eventually appearing before a vast court presided over by a diminutive and disagreeable Jesus clad in legal robes. Although judged worthy of admission to Heaven, Oscar finds himself in a boring and dilapidated domain, which is blighted by outdated technology. He subsequently bribes an official to gain access to Hell, which he discovers to be surprisingly pleasant and staffed by a friendly Devil who explains that the ancient punishments are obsolete. The Devil also advises that he is planning updates to technology, including a high-speed rail link between Hell and Heaven. Oscar also discovers that Purgatory has been privatized as an exclusive hot yoga center. Ultimately, finding existence in Hell much more pleasant and satisfying than in Heaven, Oscar decides to permanently reside in the underworld."
"The death of Maxilodimus Cruett, who drowns in a vat of oil, sparks a global controversy. Society becomes divided into Rationalists, Pilgrims, and various new theological groups who debate whether the event was murder, a miracle, or a “merger” of substance and consciousness. Grease itself starts to become sentient—it begins to hum, speak, and eventually organize, eventually forming an international commission. Legal battles ensue, culminating in a global strike where all lubrication ceases, with disastrous results for worldwide infrastructure. Central to the conflict are Frank and Glen, the self-proclaimed apostles of viscosity, who are ultimately denounced by the Droplet General, the political and religious leader of the fluids, for crimes of metaphysical exploitation. The story concludes with the difficult search for a lasting equilibrium between matter and meaning, where grease is recognized not as a metaphor, but as an essential, self-aware component of existence."
"Our story begins with the programmer, Allosaurus Triplicate, who inadvertently creates the Realm of the Unwritten—a dimension populated by unfinished and deleted text fragments that achieve sentience, including the letter V. This symbolic dimension soon descends into turmoil through the creation of Antinomy, a paradoxical entity that seeks to monetize and control all expression, leading to a global linguistic crisis where meaning and grammar collapse. The story follows several key figures—Allosaurus, the resistant letter V, the philosopher Artaxerxes the Roadmender, and the culinary prophets Frank and Glen—who champion “grease” as a sacred force of slippage and imperfection necessary for linguistic freedom, Ultimately, with the assistance of legendary detective Xerxes Fiddlefaddle, a diplomatic Declaration of Shared Syntax is established to restore balance between human speech and symbolic existence."
"Edgar Blunt is an ordinary man who discovers an annotated anthology of philosophy and becomes obsessed with achieving Aristotelian virtue through rigid, literal interpretations of concepts like potentiality and the Golden Mean. Edgar’s attempts to mathematically calibrate his friendships, diet, and even his sock drawer lead to social isolation and personal paralysis. Through a series of domestic failures, Edgar eventually learns that true flourishing (eudaimonia) cannot be achieved through performance or strict calculation. The narrative suggests that wisdom is found in the messy, unobserved habits of daily existence rather than the obsessive pursuit of abstract perfection. The ultimate conclusion is that philosophy serves as a tool for living rather than a checklist for moral validation."
"Archibald Abercrombie is a meticulous dentist whose orderly life is briefly upended after a chance meeting with the exuberant writer G. K. Chesterton. While initially intoxicated by Chesterton’s brilliant paradoxes and disregard for convention, Abercrombie gradually notices the physical decay and practical neglect hidden beneath the author’s verbal abundance. He eventually realizes that while intellectual spectacle can inspire, it often evades the necessary responsibility of repair and care. Ultimately Abercrombie balances the dignity of competence against the allure of performance, concluding that civilization is sustained by those who patiently maintain the world rather than those who merely explain it."
"The Fryer Ascends is a theological and culinary epic detailing a conflict between the forces of flavor and imperfection (represented by the prophets Frank and Glen the Fryer) and the forces of order and blandness (led by the metaphysical entity Softly, the Adverb, and the Bureau of Blandness). The narrative charts Frank’s journey as he confronts Softly’s attempts to sterilize existence by controlling grammar and grease, which leads to “The Great Drying” where all flavor disappears. Frank’s exile and Glen’s revelations ultimately lead to a cosmic fry-off that melts reality’s rigid crust and a literal transformation where the Gospel becomes edible. The story concludes with the reconciliation of chaos and order, symbolized by the Final Receipt requiring an act of honest cleaning, signifying that true holiness lies in acknowledging and caring for the “spills” of life."
"The Wombat Ultimatum which describes a chaotic societal crisis following the kidnapping of the adverb “Softly” by marsupial revolutionaries. The main conflict pits the prophetic tobacconist and wombat leader Runciman, who champions “blunt grammar” and the rejection of all adverbs, against the spiritual cooks, Frank and Glen, who represent the esoteric faith of “Greasehood” and the necessity of nuance. This linguistic rebellion leads to a Great Grammatical Panic, where sentences fracture, conjunctions vanish, and the world is stripped of descriptive modifiers, forcing society to speak only in terse, authoritarian imperatives. Through a series of metaphorical culinary events, including the Feast of Misplaced Modifiers, the protagonists discover that the solution is not to defeat the rebels, but to embrace patience and mercy, which are understood as essential forms of linguistic “grease” or seasoning. The story culminates in the realization that language must adopt a slower, more deliberate tempo after the adverb “Quickly” dies from exhaustion, demonstrating that true meaning requires both flavor and breath to sustain its structure."
"A metaphysical crisis occurs when the note C sharp mysteriously vanishes after being played perfectly by the pianist Jonathan Blenheim. The absence causes tonal collapse worldwide, leading to chaos in orchestras and triggering a bureaucratic panic at the Bureau of Eclectic Notation (BEN). The Bureau attempts to force the note D Flat into substitution, to be met with fierce opposition by D Flat. The narrative follows the adventures of the missing C sharp, which has been transposed into the viscosity of frying grease within Wotof Wongip’s chip shop, becoming a sentient sound that seeks resolution through “grease-touch” and memory. Ultimately, characters including Detective Fiddlefaddle, the Fryer Prophet Frank, and the adverbial entity Softly work to resolve the harmonic viscosity. Eventually the note is facilitated to make an imperfect, merciful return, and the crisis between pitch and substance is finally resolved."
"This is the story of a theological conflict concerning the concepts of “grace” versus “grease.” The “cult of Frank,” a religious movement advocating the salvific potential of viscosity, frying, and culinary lubrication is gaining many converts. The story opens with a sermon by Father Anselm Loosespring, a Frankite advocate, who promotes “holy grease” as essential for faith, spirituality, and combating Frank’s opponent, the Adversarial Tobacconist, Runciman. The major opponent of the message and practices of Frank is the Vatican. Pope Blatantly III attempts to suppress the Frankite heresy through bureaucratic measures, counter-propaganda, and eventually claims papal ownership of all metaphysical grease under Canon Law 888B. His campaign is bolstered by a suggestion by scholar Monsignor Monsignorson that grace and grease share a common lexical root. The Pope also engages an assassin, Annibale Urkleson, to eliminate Frank and his apostle Glen. This diabolic plan fails when Urkleson is converted from his fell purpose by Cheryl, one of Frank’s disciples. The Vatican’s regulatory efforts eventually fail when a “Great Grease Schism” culminates in Rome being flooded by “holy viscosity.”"
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