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Pretend I'm Dead

"A crash, bang, wallop work of contemporary fiction with an unforgettable misfit of a main character who flees to New Mexico to forge a new life."

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LoveReading Says

LoveReading Says

Twenty-three-year-old Mona is a messed-up, one-of-a-kind character who gives out needles to drug addicts and makes ends meet by cleaning. After falling for an older addict she names Mr Disgusting, who proceeds to give her the runaround and break her heart, Mona heads to New Mexico where she sets up her Bees Knees Housekeeping business (“Clean Like You’ve Never Seen, Honey!”) while navigating the rocky fall-out from her abusive childhood.

Here she meets a bunch of fellow oddballs, among them do-gooding New Agers “Yoko and Yoko” and her psychic client, Betty, who lives in a “casino pink” trailer. Mono is a meticulous cleaner with a talent for uncovering her clients’ dirty secrets. She’s also given to outlandish fantasies and speculation, an irrepressible force who tries to lives by her own rules, such as “never watching a period drama unless she was on her period”, as she quips.

At once a vivid portrait of outcasts’ lives and messy attempts to lay ghosts to rest, this is an outrageous, funny, moving debut. While Mona’s voice is often hilarious, her story is underpinned by deep-rooted damage, but she’s never one to wallow in self-pity. Like Mona, the writing speaks on its own terms  -it’s sparky, irreverent, switchblade-sharp and punch-packingly original. 

Joanne Owen
Reviewed by Joanne Owen
Joanne Owen’s lifelong love of reading and writing began when she was growing up in Pembrokeshire, and very much wished that witches (and Mrs Pepperpot) were real.
More reviews by Joanne Owen

About Pretend I'm Dead

Mona is twenty-three, emotionally adrift and cleaning houses to get by.

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Primary Genre Romance / Relationship Stories

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