Audiobooks by Harriet Lerner

Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up

"Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships.Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.) You'll also learn how to: - Calm things down and warm them up - Talk straight and fight fair - Listen well as a spiritual practice - Connect with a distant partner - Survive the unique challenges of children, stepchildren and difficult- laws - Follow a 12-step program to overcome defensiveness - Know how and when to draw the line - Take back your marriage when things fall apart Marriage Rules is a treasure chest of lively, practical advice to help you navigate your couple relationship with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction. If one person in a couple follows ten rules of his or her choice, it will generate a major, positive change. All that's required is a genuine wish for a better relationship and a willingness to practice."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Natalie Ross (Narrator)

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Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

""If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer." —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong "Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see 'the apology' in quite the same way." —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT, author of Mating in Captivity Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the power of a sincere apology—those two essential words, "I'm sorry"—and how apologizing can repair relationships, resolve conflict, and restore trust. In this insightful guide to emotional healing and relationship repair, Dr. Harriet Lerner offers a clear and compassionate perspective on why apologies are so difficult to give and why they matter so deeply. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people refuse to apologize—for more than two decades. Through compelling stories and grounded psychological insight, she shows how meaningful apologies can rebuild trust, repair damaged relationships, and promote genuine healing. Readers learn how to craft a heartfelt "I'm sorry," recognize ineffective or manipulative apologies, and avoid the kinds of apologies that deepen hurt instead of resolving it. Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the needs of the injured party—the person hurt by someone who will not apologize, tell the truth, or show remorse. Lerner explores what drives both the chronic non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, and why the people who cause the greatest harm are often least able to take responsibility. She helps readers resist pressure to forgive too quickly and challenges the popular belief that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With trademark humor, warmth, and psychological wisdom, Lerner offers a practical and empowering guide to repairing relationships, setting healthy boundaries, and making things right."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Cassandra Campbell (Narrator)

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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

"Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. ''Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,'' writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Barbara Caruso (Narrator)

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The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

"From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out. Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them. Here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Suzanne Toren (Narrator)

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Harriet Lerner on Anger: Where Your Anger Comes from and How to Transform It

"When Harriet Lerner began work on her book The Dance of Anger at the Menninger Clinic nearly 30 years ago, there were no books on this subject. Today it is a classic in the field. Now with the audio learning program Harriet Lerner on Anger, this distinguished psychologist shows how women can reclaim this emotion as a vital, life-changing force. Our culture encourages and even rewards aggressive men, yet when a woman shows anger, she is shunned, devalued, and ridiculed. This personal session traces the roots of this paradox and teaches how the suppression of anger leads to guilt and self-violation. This is Harriet Lerner's definitive session on how women can get angry and speak up while constructively resolving life issues. Learn more about: • The importance of anger • The spiral of “blaming” • Twelve do's and don'ts of anger • Genograms and family systems • Fixing your partner vs. fixing yourself Course objectives: • Summarize the way society typically views women's anger, and the models it provides women to fit into • Utilize 'I' statements that express anger effectively and help define the self • Describe several filters that anger is often experienced through • Identify several examples of anger being expressed effectively and ineffectively • Explain why anger can be a tool for change"

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters: Breaking the Patterns That Keep You Stuck

"Before a woman is anything else, she is a daughter. Her relationship with her mother anchors every other relationship in her life. Yet as an adult she may still blame her mother, try to change her, or fail to speak out about issues that matter. Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters is a personal conversation for every woman who seeks to better understand the mystery of the mother-daughter bond. Dr. Lerner illustrates why our mothers inevitably disappoint us, and why it is so hard to stay connected—and stay ourselves—when differences arise. With specific skills and guidelines for changing the patterns that keep us stuck, Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters represents this esteemed psychologist's most complete work on the central relationship in the emotional lives of women. Course objectives: • Dissect the primal relationship at the core of the mother-daughter bond • Discuss how family and social pressures devalue motherhood and sabotage the mother-daughter dialogue • Inspect how our relationship with our mother anchors all other relationships in our lives • Analyze several mother-daughter case studies • Identify family triangles and find methods of undoing them • Develop a genuine appreciation of our differences through hearing our mother's history"

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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Harriet Lerner on Intimacy: How to Create a Remarkable Relationship

"Perhaps nothing is more important in our lives than enhancing relationships with our friends, lovers, and family. Yet at some point, it seems that even the healthiest relationships get stuck and resist our efforts to fix them. In this revealing and provocative session, psychologist Harriet Lerner confronts cherished myths about women and intimacy, and breaks new ground for every listener seeking the deeper truth about intimate relationships. This heart-to-heart session takes a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged—by emotional distancing or by too much intensity—and offers practical ideas for overcoming these primary obstacles. Enriched with many real-life examples from Dr. Lerner's work with women and their families. Learn More About: • Four myths about intimacy • The joy of friendships • Why intimacy flees from techniques • The truth of who you are • Self-focus and self-deception • Much more Course objectives: • Explore the basic human dilemma of staying connected in key relationships while maintaining individual differences • Identify the myths and truths of real intimacy in any type of relationship • Discover practical ways to overcome the common relationship obstacles of too much emotional distancing or too much intensity • Discuss the importance of self-focus rather than relationship focus"

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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The Mother Dance

"Bestselling Author Harriet Lerner leads you in the most magnificent dance of all: The Mother Dance! Her phenomenally successful audio books have profoundly changed the way we think about anger and intimacy. Now psychologist and mother Harriet Lerner tackles the most emotionally charged, issue of all time: motherhood. In her own candid, and compassionate voice, Dr. Lerner discusses this extraordinary, life-altering experience as no one before her has done. Listen as she explores: - his new life versus your new life - worry guilt, self-blame and other unavoidables of motherhood - how your own childhood influences your parenting - the unexpected feelings motherhood awakens in you -- good and bad - how children change your marriage - how to talk to kids you can't talk to - mothers and daughters -- mothers and sons - and much much more -- from labor pains to empty nest pangs Lerner shares personal stories and vivid case examples that are both hilarious and heart-wrenching. Lerner will guide you on this lifelong journey, whether you're considering having children, currently raising little ones, or are the mother of grown-up children. Read by the author on two cassettes."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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Life Preservers

"With wit, wisdom and uncommon sense, Dr. Harriet Lerner gives readers the tools to solve problems and create joy, meaning and integrity in their relationships. Women will find Life Preservers (more than 40,000 copies sold in hardcover) to be an invaluable motivational guide that covers the landscape of work and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, children and parents, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and much more. With new insights and a results-oriented approach, Dr. Lerner answers women's most frequently asked questions and offers the best advice for problems women face today: I always pick the wrong guys. Should I move in with him? I can't stand my boss. Should I leave my marriage? How can I recover from his affair? Is my fantasy abnormal? Is my therapy working? I miss my mother. I can't believe I was fired."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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The Dance of Connection: How to talk to someone when you're mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, or desperate

"Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's ''authentic voice'' in intimate relationships. The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives. "

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving

"Bestselling author Harriet Lerner is at her provocative best in this examination of fear as the key motivating force in our lives. Often unrecognised, fear and shame drive our choices and attitudes in ways that most of us never figure out. As Lerner explains, fear is not an amorphous unknown to be transcended or overcome but an emotion to be recognized, explored, decoded and embraced. Once we befriend fear, it can actually help us achieve calm, clarity and fundamental peace. Lerner teaches us the best ways to deal with fear: to expect, allow, and accept its presence in our lives, to mindfully observe and attend to how it feels in our bodies and, ultimately to own it. We can become experts on our personal triggers of anxiety, learning when fear signals real danger and when it's best to plough through it because it comes with the territory of making necessary changes. The very worst thing we can do in the face of fear is to run from it or try to avoid it. Fear is not something to be conquered or eliminated--or even tackled, for that matter. Instead, we need to pay close attention to the message it is trying to convey. Using her wonderfully rich and inviting therapeutic voice along with personal memories and examples drawn from her practice, Lerner gives fear its due. We needn't let anxiety, fear, and shame silence our authentic voice, close our hearts to the different voices of others, or stop us from acting with dignity, integrity and brio. We need to harness fear and put it in service to our best selves."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships

"The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. ''Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,'' writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation."

Harriet Lerner (Author), Harriet Lerner (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks by Harriet Lerner

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