Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships.Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.) You'll also learn how to:
- Calm things down and warm them up
- Talk straight and fight fair
- Listen well as a spiritual practice
- Connect with a distant partner
- Survive the unique challenges of children, stepchildren and difficult- laws
- Follow a 12-step program to overcome defensiveness
- Know how and when to draw the line
- Take back your marriage when things fall apart
Marriage Rules is a treasure chest of lively, practical advice to help you navigate your couple relationship with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction. If one person in a couple follows ten rules of his or her choice, it will generate a major, positive change. All that's required is a genuine wish for a better relationship and a willingness to practice.
"If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer." -Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong
"Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see 'the apology' in quite the same way." -Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity
Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language-I'm sorry-and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies-and why some people won't give them-for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.
Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party-the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel-and certainly our anger is no exception.
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.
From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out. Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them. Here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance.
Bestselling Author Harriet Lerner leads you in the most magnificent dance of all: The Mother Dance!Her phenomenally successful audio books have profoundly changed the way we think about anger and intimacy. Now psychologist and mother Harriet Lerner tackles the most emotionally charged, issue of all time: motherhood.In her own candid, and compassionate voice, Dr. Lerner discusses this extraordinary, life-altering experience as no one before her has done. Listen as she explores: -his new life versus your new life-worry guilt, self-blame and other unavoidables of motherhood-how your own childhood influences your parenting-the unexpected feelings motherhood awakens in you -- good and bad-how children change your marriage-how to talk to kids you can't talk to-mothers and daughters -- mothers and sons-and much much more -- from labor pains to empty nest pangsLerner shares personal stories and vivid case examples that are both hilarious and heart-wrenching. Lerner will guide you on this lifelong journey, whether you're considering having children, currently raising little ones, or are the mother of grown-up children.Read by the author on two cassettes.
With wit, wisdom and uncommon sense, Dr. Harriet Lerner gives readers the tools to solve problems and create joy, meaning and integrity in their relationships. Women will find Life Preservers (more than 40,000 copies sold in hardcover) to be an invaluable motivational guide that covers the landscape of work and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, children and parents, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and much more. With new insights and a results-oriented approach, Dr. Lerner answers women's most frequently asked questions and offers the best advice for problems women face today: I always pick the wrong guys. Should I move in with him?I can't stand my boss. Should I leave my marriage? How can I recover from his affair? Is my fantasy abnormal? Is my therapy working? I miss my mother. I can't believe I was fired.
In this profound new audio, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger teaches us how to "find our voice" with the people who matter the most. With wit and wisdom, Harriet Lerner shows us how to "set things right" and heal the most painful disconnections, tackling the most difficult problems we face with the people who hurt us.Whether you're dealing with a partner, a parent or best friend, Lerner shows us how to speak with honor and personal integrity even when the other person behaves badly. This is a heartfelt audio full of useful anecdotes and wisdom that will change the way you feel about yourself and dramatically enhance all of your important relationships. Our capacity for creativity, wisdom, and joy depends on connecting well with the key people in our lives. Lerner teaches us how to navigate our most difficult relationships with integrity, courage, and joyous conviction.
Bestselling author Harriet Lerner is at her provocative best in this examination of fear as the key motivating force in our lives.
Often unrecognised, fear and shame drive our choices and attitudes in ways that most of us never figure out. As Lerner explains, fear is not an amorphous unknown to be transcended or overcome but an emotion to be recognized, explored, decoded and embraced. Once we befriend fear, it can actually help us achieve calm, clarity and fundamental peace.
Lerner teaches us the best ways to deal with fear: to expect, allow, and accept its presence in our lives, to mindfully observe and attend to how it feels in our bodies and, ultimately to own it. We can become experts on our personal triggers of anxiety, learning when fear signals real danger and when it's best to plough through it because it comes with the territory of making necessary changes. The very worst thing we can do in the face of fear is to run from it or try to avoid it. Fear is not something to be conquered or eliminated--or even tackled, for that matter. Instead, we need to pay close attention to the message it is trying to convey.
Using her wonderfully rich and inviting therapeutic voice along with personal memories and examples drawn from her practice, Lerner gives fear its due. We needn't let anxiety, fear, and shame silence our authentic voice, close our hearts to the different voices of others, or stop us from acting with dignity, integrity and brio. We need to harness fear and put it in service to our best selves.
Of all the books that have been written about the personal relationships of women and what to do about them, this is the most sound. It contains an inspirational message for all women, regardless of their age, background, or life experience. Like a family heirloom, it can be passed from generation to generation, as it is based on profound and lasting truths. --Peggy Papp, M.S.W., The Ackerman Institute for Family TherapyThe Perennial Audio Bestseller from Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to" writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless.
In this vivid, engaging and eminently wise work, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating meaningful and lasting change. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle with intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. The Dance of Anger has inspired more "You changed my life" stories from both women and men than perhaps any other bestseller on the American scene today.
In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author ofThe Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
When The Dance of Deception was published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse.
We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deception unravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.
Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.
Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.
Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.
