Browse audiobooks by Dave Barry, listen to samples and when you're ready head over to Audiobooks.com where you can get 3 FREE audiobooks on us
Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up
"America's most beloved wiseass finally tells his life story with all the humor you'd expect from a man who made a career out of making fun of pretty much everything. How does the son of a Presbyterian minister wind up winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a wildly inaccurate newspaper column read by millions of people? In Class Clown, Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious ride, starting with a childhood largely spent throwing rocks for entertainment—there was no internet—and preparing for nuclear war by hiding under a classroom desk. After literally getting elected class clown in high school, he went to college, where, as an English major, he read snippets of great literature when he was not busy playing in a rock band (it was the sixties). He began his journalism career at a small-town Pennsylvania newspaper where he learned the most important rule of local journalism: never confuse a goose with a duck. His journey then took a detour into the business world, where as a writing consultant he spent years trying, with limited success, to get corporate folks to, for God's sake, get the point. Somehow from there he wound up as a humor columnist for The Miami Herald, where his boss was a wild man who encouraged him to write about anything that struck him as amusing and to never worry about alienating anyone. His columns were not popular with everyone: He managed to alienate a vast army of Neil Diamond fans, and the entire state of Indiana. But he also developed a loyal following of readers who alerted him to the threat of exploding toilets, not to mention the fire hazards posed by strawberry pop-tarts and Rollerblade Barbie, which he demonstrated to the nation on the David Letterman show. He led his readers on a crusade against telemarketers that ultimately caused the national telemarketers association to stop answering its own phones because it was getting—irony alert—too many unwanted calls. He has also run for president multiple times, although so far without success. He became a book author and joined a literary rock band, which was not good at playing music but did once perform with Bruce Springsteen, who sang backup to Dave. As for his literary merits, Dave writes: "I'll never have the critical acclaim of, say, Marcel Proust. But was Marcel Proust ever on Carson? Did he ever steal a hotel sign for Oprah?" Class Clown isn't just a memoir; it's a vibrant celebration of a life rich with humor, absurdity, joy, and sadness. Dave says the most important wisdom imparted by his Midwestern parents was never to take anything too seriously. This laughter-filled book is proof that he learned that lesson well."
Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)
Audiobook
Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog
"In this "little gem" (Washington Independent Review of Books), Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy—not happily—he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world's oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it's okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons From Lucy shows you a new side to Dave Barry that's "touching and sentimental, but there's still a laugh on every page" (The Sacramento Bee). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age."
Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)
Audiobook
Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism from Dave Barry
"The New York Times calls him 'the funniest man in America,' and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on:• The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word 'weasel') • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting 'smart' kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida ('You can’t spell Florida without 'duh'') • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxesAnd much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11."
Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)
Audiobook
Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
"Following the bestselling success of Dave's novel, Big Trouble, here is a hilarious new collection of columns from the writer critics have called 'the funniest man in America.'What's been getting Dave Barry all worked up lately? What can possibly induce him to rise up—yes, actually out of his chair—in indignation? Well, lots of things. For instance…The plague of low-flow toilets Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe The parent-misery quotient of school science fairs Pine-sap transfusions for tired Christmas trees The real skinny on the IRS, Donald Trump, the airlines, and so much more.…"
Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)
Audiobook
"The Extravaganza of the Seas is a five-thousand-ton cash cow, a top-heavy tub whose sole function is to carry gamblers three miles from the Florida coast, take their money, then bring them back so they can find more money. In the middle of a tropical storm one night, these characters are among the passengers it carries: Fay Benton, a single mom and cocktail waitress desperate for something to go right for once; Johnny and the Contusions, a ship’s band with so little talent they are…well, the ship’s band; Arnold and Phil, two refugees from the Beaux Arts Senior Center; Lou Tarant, a wide, bald man who has killed nine people, though none recently; and an assortment of uglies whose job it is to facilitate the ship’s true business, which is money-laundering or drug-smuggling or…something."
Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)
Audiobook
Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway
"Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself.Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly written Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask 'What can our country do for us, anyway?' but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently).Dave also cracks the income-tax code and explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington D.C. should end school class trips forever."
Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)
Audiobook
You Can Date Boys When You're Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little A
"If there’s one thing that New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Dave Barry is an expert on, it’s raising a daughter. …which means he’s not an expert on much considering the breadth of his knowledge on that subject fills only a single chapter of a book. However, what Dave Barry is good at is giving unsolicited advice on topics he’s definitively not an expert on. In fact, he now has an entire book filled with guidance on things he knows nothing about, including: surviving in the wild, wooing women, cremation, maintaining a scintillating conversation, Justin Bieber, the U.S. Postal Service, enduring the TSA, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and, most obviously, being a professional author. With trademark wit and unmatched insight into the insanity of everyday life, Dave Barry presents a series of hilarious, never-before-published essays on the trials and tribulations of living and laughing in the modern age."
Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)
Audiobook
Stay Fit and Healthy until You’re Dead
"Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry—provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out. Barry on executive fitness: Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run ten miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices are. That's why the entire US economy is now manufactured overseas. Barry on fitness after death: A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals. Barry on nutrition: Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you've spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: 'A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE.' And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims. Barry on junk foods: White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting."
Dave Barry (Author), Arte Johnson (Narrator)
Audiobook
"Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he's still astonished that he's on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him-and he's survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he's about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable, from his very powerful, very disapproving soon-to-be father-in-law to the federal government to a love-struck orangutan. Seth's hope for smooth sailing is turning into a trip on the Titanic. And the water is getting deeper by the minute…"
Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)
Audiobook
"One of them is a bestselling Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. The other is a winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Together, they form the League of Comic Justice, battling evildoers in the name of . . . Okay, we made that line up. What they do form is a writing team of pure comic genius, and they will have you laughing like idiots. Philip Horkman is a happy man-the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really bad day. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, terrorists, subversives, bears, and a man dressed as Chuck E. Cheese. Where that all takes them you can't begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration and mayhem. But what else would you expect from the League of Comic Justice? AUTHOR BIOS: Dave Barry's recent bestselling books include his Peter Pan prequels, written with Ridley Pearson; Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far); and I'll Mature When I'm Dead. He lives in Coral Gables, Florida. To learn more about Dave Barry, please visit www.davebarry.com. Alan Zweibel is one of the original Saturday Night Live writer, the winner of multiple Emmy Awards for his television work and the Thurber Prize for his novel The Other Shulman, and collaborator with Billy Crystal on the Tony Award-winning play 700 Sundays. He lives in Short Hills, New Jersey. To learn more about Alan Zweibel, please visit www.alanzweibel.com."
Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry (Author), Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry, Marc Thompson, Orlagh Cassidy, Sean Kenin (Narrator)
Audiobook
"I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from 'the funniest man in America' (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier-and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process-with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!"
Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)
Audiobook
Thalia Book Club: Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson's Peter and the Sword of Mercy
"Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson sit with Matthew Cody to discuss and read from their children's book Peter and the Sword of Mercy."
Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson (Author), Matthew Cody (Narrator)
Audiobook
©PTC International Ltd T/A LoveReading is registered in England. Company number: 10193437. VAT number: 270 4538 09. Registered address: 157 Shooters Hill, London, SE18 3HP.
Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer