"Violet Parker has big troubles these days—the ticking kind. To duck the Grim Reaper, she needs to get her hands on eighty-plus rare, mystical clocks locked up tight by a thick-headed detective.
The solution? Hijack the truckload of ticking time bombs out from under Johnny Law’s nose.
But no caper ever goes according to plan. What starts out as a game of clocks and robbers twists and turns into a chaos of cops and clobbers.
Will Violet beat the detective in time? Or will she spend Valentine’s Day behind bars?"
"'This here place? Disagreeable as the backside of Hades.”
~ Hank Varney
First let me say, this here trip to Slagton weren’t my idea. This place is chock full of bad company done helped itself to a double dose of bad medicine.
Slagton needs cleanin’, accordin’ to Miss Clem, and I know the crew to do it. I’m one of ’em. Hank Varney’s the name. Miss Clem and me, along with the two Sidewinders from Santa Fe—we’ll get the sharp-toothed vermin cleared out.
Now, some people say I’m lucky, but I don’t know if’n it’ll do me any good, what with the army of trouble me an’ the crew are facin’. If’n we don’t live through it, well, there goes Deadwood. Maybe even the whole of the Black Hills.
We’ll all be down the privy hole then, lookin’ up at the Backside of Hades."
"Time is a tricky devil. And so is that blasted imp!
Violet Parker needs to catch the little terror before it wreaks even more havoc in the Black Hills. But now that she’s saddled with this dang Timekeeper gig, she has a lot to juggle, like the real monsters wanting to tear the flesh from her bones just for fun.
If she can’t figure out how to wrangle “time” to save her family, the Grim Reaper might come swinging for them next.
But what about that danged honey-loving imp?
“Bravery badges are frickin’ overrated.” —Violet Parker"
"When someone is dead and buried, they’re supposed to stay that way....
Aren’t they? Claire Morgan thought so, but now she suspects the dead guy whose treasures she’s been digging up is not only breathing, but spying on her, too. Crap!
When someone is divorced from a pain in the ass, they’re supposed to stay that way....
At least, that’s what Ronnie Morgan had hoped when she dumped her husband. But then he rolled over on some bloodthirsty criminals. With him tucked away in prison, they’ll settle for taking their revenge on her. Fudge!
When someone is temporarily insane—
Kate Morgan is not crazy, dang it! A few twitches and some mad laughter aside, she has a gut feeling her family is in danger. Big danger. The kind that ends with a lot of blood. Now, it’s her job to keep them alive.
The Morgan sisters are back for another round of twisty tussles and rollicking romps!"
"Catawampus (adj.): 1.) Fierce, savage 2.) Askew, awry. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
It’s a cold and snowy Christmas Eve in the rowdy mining town of Deadwood in the Dakota Territory. Rather than enjoy some drinks in front of a warm fire with her friends, contracted Slayer Clementine Johanssen has her horse saddled and weapons packed to head out into the hills and hunt down some deadly scallywags—alone. When her friends catch wind of her intentions, they set out to waylay her long enough to change her way of thinking...in spite of her mule-headedness.
Reminiscent of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, this catawampus tale will add a heartening dose of fun and camaraderie to your holiday!
Note: This is book 3.5 of the Deadwood Undertaker Series."
"All Violet Parker wants is a day off. Better yet, just a “normal” day. But things never go as planned, especially in Deadwood.
Someone—or rather something—broke into the local taxidermy shop and took bites out of the critter displays before racing off into the dark. But this is no random crime, and Violet knows it. With a bounty on her head and troublemakers zeroing in on her, she soon goes from being the hunter to the hunted.
“Burly muscled and rawhide tough don’t matter. Never tangle with a Scharfrichter!”—Violet Parker"
"Some things you just can't ride around ...
Jack “Rabbit”Fields knew a good thing when he saw it, whether it was a sound horse, a sure bet, or a pretty sage hen. When it came to locking horns with any curly wolves he ran into along the trail, he tended to shoot first—a notion that had saved his hide more times than he could count. But that was before he came to Deadwood.
Now, someone is stealing freshly dead bodies right out of their graves, and Rabbit and his amigos are on the hunt to figure out who. And more important, why?
Unfortunately, finding the answers to those questions will take plenty of Rabbit’s bullets, and maybe his blood, too. When the shooting stops and the smoke clears, he reckons there will be a whole lot more cold corpses in the Black Hills. With any luck, he won’t be one of them.
Hold onto your hats and saddle up for another action-filled adventure with the Santa Fe Sidewinders, Clementine, Hank, and the rest of the goldurn Deadwood devils!"
"Deadwood, late 1876. A rowdy and reckless undertaker’s delight. What better place for a killer to blend in?
Enter undertaker Clementine Johanssen, tall and deadly with a hot temper and short fuse, hired to clean up Deadwood’s dead … and the “other” problem. She’s hell-bent on poking, sticking, or stabbing anyone that steps out of line.
But when a couple Santa Fe sidewinders ride into town searching for their missing uncle, they land neck deep in lethal gunplay, nasty cutthroats, and endless stinkin’ snow. Their search leads them to throw in with Clementine to hunt for a common enemy.
What they find chills them all to the bone and sends them on an adventure they’ll never forget.
From the bestselling, multiple award–winning, humorous Deadwood Mystery series comes a new herd of tales set in the same Deadwood stomping grounds, only back in the days when the Old West town was young."
"“There’s gold in them there hills!” … and something deadly, too.
Danger the likes Boone McCreery has never seen is brewing in the Black Hills. Fresh in from Santa Fe, he’s returned to Deadwood to seek justice for his uncle—and maybe to see about a girl. Little did he know his search for justice would have him stumbling into a hornets’ nest beyond his worst nightmare. One thing is for certain: the trouble he and his compadres chance upon deep in the trees is a long way from ordinary.
Kick up your spurs and enjoy another rip-roaring, wild ride with Boone, Rabbit, Clementine, and Hank in the second book in the Deadwood Undertaker series."
"“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”—William Shakespeare
Violet Parker knows better than to play with devils. They always cheat, especially when lives are at stake. Deadwood’s charming, troublemaking, and soul-sucking devils are no different, and they’re biting at her heels.
But the clock is ticking and Violet has no choice—she must risk her life to save her treasured Aunt Zoe. With any luck, she might be able to trick the devils and beat the old terrors at their own game. If not, Deadwood could end up short one Executioner.
“Executioners don’t duck, they swing.”—Violet Parker"
"It’s Christmas Eve, and Violet Parker has one request on her list for Santa—to make it home to her kids. Unfortunately, “home” is also the lair of her lifelong nemesis, her sister Susan, a.k.a. the devil’s concubine.
Standing in Violet’s way is Old Man Winter, who slammed the Black Hills with a show-stopping blizzard. However, a little snow isn’t going to ground her sleigh, not with family counting on her to deliver Santa’s goods.
Trying to keep Christmas from turning into a candy cane calamity, Violet battles her demons and struggles through the chaos storming around her. Can she make it through the holiday without cracking anyone’s nut?
“Keep your fingers crossed this whole holiday doesn’t blow up in our faces.” —Violet Parker"
"“Trespassers will be gutted and hung!”—Slagton’s unofficial town motto
Normally, not even drunk on a bet would Violet Parker go to Slagton, a creepy ghost town inhabited by those too stubborn—or deranged—to leave. But a certain bullheaded Deadwood detective has a problem—his informant from Slagton has gone missing. When Violet is shanghaied into taking a hunting trip to the ghost town to search for the missing snitch, she stumbles into trouble that will take more than a double-barreled shotgun to escape.
Will Violet survive this new hell that haunts her, or will she end up on Slagton’s growing list of those “gutted and hung”?"
