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Trouble

"Unflinchingly honest and whip-smart witty, this extraordinary coming-of-age memoir recounts a young woman’s survival of losing a loved one to suicide to find her way in the world."

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LoveReading Says

LoveReading Says

Candid, comic and razor sharp raw, Marise Gaughan’s Trouble is an extraordinary coming of age memoir like nothing else. Her voice is incredibly powerful, and her recovery from her father’s suicide and the ensuing inferno of self-destruction is nothing but defiantly life-affirming. 

As a child, and growing up, Marise was incredibly close to her alcoholic father: “My dad gets me, because I am a carbon copy of him. We are made from the same stuff, so he always says.” At the same time, “I’m not stupid; I am almost eleven years old, so I can see he is a flawed adult, but I also know he loves me very much”.

As Marise moves through her teenage years, it becomes clearer that her dad’s battle with alcoholism meant, “he didn’t notice that there was another demon in the room, slowly eating away at him. When mental illness goes unchecked for that length of time, it can eventually destroy the person you love. And it happens so gradually you can never put your finger on it. Slowly, without you realizing, until suddenly, they’re gone.” In Marise’s case, her dad was gone when he committed suicide when she was 23. She’d been there when he tried to kill himself ten years earlier.

The aftermath of this loss sees Marise flee to New York, raging with self-destructive impulses that eventually see her in a psych ward in California, swaying on the abyss. Her journey to understand her father, to understand herself, and to find forgiveness and self-forgiveness is astonishing. 

Joanne Owen

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