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Mothers' Wit by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle

Mothers' Wit

The Real World   

RRP £9.99

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“When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure Iâve done my job.” Roseanne Barr

A bumper compilation of humorous quotes about mums and motherhood. From celebrated matriarchal types, to sons, daughters, and partners; everyone has something to say about their experiences of mothering or being mothered. A great gift!


Mothers' Wit by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle

Mamma mia! Didnât think mums could make you laugh? Think again. Mothersâ Wit is full of classic one-liners from a rich variety of red-hot mammas such as Victoria Wood, Joan Rivers, Roseanne and Marge Simpson.

Covering all the joys of motherhood, these celebrated matriarchs deliver belly laughs and offer pearls of maternal wisdom on such topics as morning sickness and strrretch marks, playground politics and raising hormonal teenagers, frenzied mealtimes and dreary household chores.

Complemented with sharp insights from family members – those sons, daughters, and partners to whom mum devotes the best years of her life, Mothersâ Wit will give every mother the one thing she really needs (apart from an uninterrupted nightâs sleep): a good laugh.

Warm, witty, wise and winning, if only this book could also spit on its hanky and wipe your face it would be just like Mum: perfect.


'The first time you leave your child at school you're faced with a tough decision - down the pub or back to bed?' - Jo Brand 'Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless?' - Bart Simpson 'You know you really are a mother when: you use your own saliva to clean your child's face; your child throws up and you catch it.' - Erma Bombeck 'Real mothers think sex is like full-time employment - it's a nice idea but it'll never happen again in their lifetime.' - Victoria Wood'

About the Author

Allison Vale was born in Cardiff, South Wales. She taught A-Level History in London before becoming an author and specialist Advisory Teacher. She lives on the Somerset Levels with her husband and their two young children.

Alison Rattle was born in Liverpool. She worked in London as a fashion designer before moving into publishing. She now lives in Somerset with her partner and three children.

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Book Info

Publication date

6th February 2006


Allison Vale and Alison Rattle

More books by Allison Vale and Alison Rattle
Author 'Like for Like'


Carlton Books Ltd


256 pages


The Real World

Humour collections & anthologies



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