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Audiobooks Narrated by Chris Devon
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The sequel nobody wants. After a decade of the Tories, could it get any worse? Spoiler – it does.
Towards the end of 2021, Britain had been frogmarched into an escalating series of surreal calamities. Brexit was a disaster, the NHS was in crisis, the government was bathed head-to-toe in impropriety, senior Tories were still acting as though the public purse was their personal feed-trough, and the air crackled with anger about PartyGate. All of which led to an inglorious start to 2022: the year the UK saw two monarchs, three prime ministers and four chancellors.
From Boris Johnson, who crashed our international reputation and handed billions to his mates so they could ineptly fight a pandemic while he stayed at home, shagging and acting as a super-spreader; to Liz Truss, a drive-by prime minister who managed to kill off the queen and crash the economy in a single week. And now we're led by Rishi Sunak, who doesn't know how to use a credit card, drives a pretend car, and grinningly promises even more poverty.
Four Chancellors and a Funeral delivers more of Russell Jones's signature scathing wit, combining a detailed historical record of 2021 and 2022, with acerbic commentary, all of it leavened by jokes at the seemingly endless maelstrom of failures, nincompoops and hypocrisies.
In 2020 the United Kingdom reached a bewildering milestone: ten successive years of Conservative rule. In that decade there were three prime ministers, each in turn described as the worst leader we ever had; ministerial resignations by the hundred; and an unrelenting stream of ineffectual, divisive bum-slurry oozing from 10 Downing Street.
The Decade in Tory is an inglorious, rollicking and entirely true account of ten years of demonstrable lies, relentless incompetence, epic waste, serial corruption, official police investigations, anti-democratic practices, abuse of power, dereliction of duty and hundreds of thousands of avoidable deaths.
With his signature scathing wit, Russell Jones breaks down the government's interminable failures year by year, covering everything from David Cameron's pledge to tackle inequality – which reduced UK life expectancy for the first time since 1841 – through the bewildering storm of lies and betrayals that led to Brexit, devastating education cuts, serial mismanagement of the NHS and Boris Johnson's calamitous response to the Covid-19 pandemic. It will leave you gasping and wondering: can things possibly get any worse?
From the author of The Last Chance Hotel comes a brand new magical mystery ...
Is Oakmoss Hornbeam the unluckiest boy in the world? Or has someone cursed him?
When a black cat crosses his path, mysteriously blown in by a storm, Oakmoss believes it's his worst omen yet. But Nightshade, a cat of considerable talents, knows when it's game on or game over.
With the help of newshound Veena Vale and magical crime investigator Dexter Stormforce, she sets out to become a lucky charm for one very unlucky boy ...
Adele has had a colorful romantic past, but she's finally found her soulmate in Tom. They're engaged, and she's looking forward to a future of blissful happiness. But then she realizes her ex-boyfriends are turning up dead. At first, the deaths seem accidental, but soon a sinister pattern emerges. All of Adele’s former partners are being killed off—in the order she dated them. As the body count grows, Adele has to figure out who is doing this and why. Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time until the killer gets to Tom...
Harvey is a small boy in a giant world. On stilts.
When Harvey accidentally sets fire to his headteacher's trousers, Mum decides it's time for a BIG change. So, she packs him off to Madame Bogbrush's School for Gifted Giants.
He'll grunt. He'll clomp. He'll bash things with clubs. But Harvey's not a giant. He's a boy on stilts. And if his classmates find out, they'll stomp him into a sandwich!
Then the Beastly School Board arrives for a surprise inspection and Harvey realises he's not the only one in danger…
Until recently, Isobel has always loved The Close. A quiet road of large houses tucked away in the beautiful English countryside, it seemed like the perfect place to live. Then, six months ago, a young man was killed in a mysterious hit-and-run incident. The police investigated, but no one was charged, which left a bad feeling in this little community, a feeling that someone knows more than they are saying. So when new neighbor Linette arrives, Isobel thinks it's the perfect chance to make a fresh start, to repair relationships, and rebuild her community. But someone else has a very different plan, and bad things start to happen. When there's another death, Isobel realizes her home, her marriage, and her family are all in terrible danger. She is certain that what's happening is connected to the hit-and-run. But how? What really happened on the night of the fatal accident? And above all, who is Linette, and what does she really want?
The second hilarious adventure starring Scooter the inventor and his top secret alien sidekick. Scooter's hyper-creative brain is a constant fizz of brilliant ideas, but when he pairs up with his best friend Fizzbee the alien, his inventions are out of this world... McLay's Jam factory is scheduled for a Grand Re-Opening TONIGHT. That is until Scooter's nemesis Daffy Dodgy turns up to reveal her name is still on the deeds. Scooter must either hand over all his best ideas, or find the money to buy back the factory. When Cat Pincher turns up with a treasure map, revealing there's a hoard of treasure buried under the jam factory, it seems like Scooter's in with a chance. But he's not the only one after the treasure... Can Scooter, Fizzbee and Cat follow the map and find the treasure? Will Daffy and Boris the guinea pig do what they do best and mess everything up? Or will Cat's nefarious uncle, Perry Pincher and his gold-sniffing ferret Colonel Pom Pom beat them all to it?
Heart-stopping fantasy from the Costa-shortlisted and critically acclaimed author of the bestselling The Midnight Guardians.
Step into a world of faery tricks and hidden danger...
When an evil faerie steals Yanni's baby sister and swaps her for a Changeling, Yanni is swept into a dangerous race against time to get her back.
For faeries delight in tricks and rescuing her won't be easy. With the help of his cousin, Amy, and the reluctant Changeling, Yanni must travel to goblin palaces and battle-swept oceans, discovering ancient treasures and secrets along the way.
Yanni will need every drop of courage and even a few tricks of his own, if he's to outwit the faerie and save his sister...
Ross Montgomery brings the magical world of British folklore to life in this contemporary fantasy novel. Bursting with Ross's trademark charm, humour and heart, and with echoes of David Bowie's Labyrinth, The Chime Seekers is perfect listening for fans of Emma Carroll, Piers Torday and David Solomons.
PRAISE FOR THE MIDNIGHT GUARDIANS
Waterstones Children's Book of the Month for Christmas 2020
Hive Children's Book of the Month for November 2020
A Toppsta Children's Book of the Month for November 2020
'An enthralling, Narnia-flavoured novel with the folkloric feels of a Christmas classic.' Children's Books of the Year, Guardian
'Beautifully drawn fantasy characters ... a story of hope and love underpinned by witty humour." Daily Mail
'A magical slice of historical fantasy fiction." i Newspaper
'This lovely adventure story has the feel of a classic children's book.' Book of the Week, The Week Junior
"'A mythic, comic, classic adventure." David Solomons
"Glorious! A joy of a joy of a thing." Katherine Rundell
'A gem of book, jam-packed with heart and humour and one utterly unique set of friends.' Peter Bunzl
"Pure magic. Storytelling at its very best." Abi Elphinstone
'A real triumph of the imagination.' Editor's Choice, The Bookseller
If you think monsters don't exist, just ask Theodora Hendrix. The second in a brilliantly funny new series, perfect for fans of Amelia Fang.
After facing down an evil hag, a thieving skele-crow and an army of the undead, ten-year-old Theodora Hendrix is certain she can handle anything - that is, until she meets the unpleasant Inspector Shelley and her even more unpleasant pet rat. Shelley and Ratsputin have come to spy on the MLM, and are determined to make trouble at every turn. Then Theodora makes a discovery of her own: a cursed beetle. She needs to destroy it without attracting the attention of the inspector - and fast. The stakes couldn't be higher: if Theodora fails, her beloved monster family will rot in the dankest, darkest prisons of Transylvania...
Max and his best friend Kevin, the only roly-poly flying pony in Bumbleford, decide to enter the Magical Pony Club Steeplechase. Kevin is not particularly keen, as the other participants are all unicorns, and everybody knows that unicorns are quite snobby. But biscuits are promised, and Kevin wants to make Max proud. As the competition heats up, our inseparable duo uncovers a conspiracy to steal the precious Periwinkle Cup. Max and Kevin will have to intervene to stop the thieves and retrieve the stolen troph
From the author of The Last Chance Hotel comes a brand new fantastical mystery series!
When there's a murder in the village and a hag is heard howling at the local inn, secret witch Raven Charming realizes she could have a rival - one who practises the worst kind of magic.
With the help of amateur sleuth, Mortimer Scratch, and Nightshade, a talking cat with a feline sense of detection, she sets out to solve what's been going on ...
Praise for THE LAST CHANCE HOTEL:
'A jolly, atmospheric mystery.' THE TIMES
'All kinds of fun' THE OBSERVER
'[A] mash-up of murder mystery and fantasy ... full of great characters, plot twists and intriguing detail.' METRO
'Featuring magical antics, a talking cat and a locked-room murder mystery, Seth's story reads like an old-school whodunnit with added wizards and spells' BOOKTRUST
Shortlisted for the Spellbinding 2021 Book Award
It's January 1928, the day before the great flood. There's a snowstorm and the river is about to burst its banks?fourteen souls will be lost. Can Glory an orphan with only one hand and her time-travelling friend Needle and their pet crow change the future? Is there anyone among all those people entombed in the snow-shrouded town who will listen?
"A unique and compelling story of friendship and courage." STEVE VOAKE
