Audiobooks by William Topaz McGonagall

50+ Masterpieces you have to read before you die. Christmas Stories and Poems: A Christmas Carol, A

"Anthology of Christmas Stories is a unique collection of Christmas tales, reflections, and poems from beloved authors across the centuries and makes the perfect gift for the reader in your life. This beautiful treasury will take you back to firesides, simple gifts, and warm family moments of Christmases past as you cherish the timeless truths and joys of the season. Contents: Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol The Chimes G.K. Chesterton A Christmas Carol L.M. Montgomery The Red Room A Christmas Mistake A Christmas Inspiration The Josephs' Christmas Aunt Cyrilla's Christmas Basket The Osbornes' Christmas Bertie's New Year Ida's New Year Cake The Christmas Surprise at Enderly Road Clorinda's Gifts The Falsoms' Christmas Dinner The Unforgotten One Christmas at Red Butte Uncle Richard's New Year's Dinner L. Frank Baum A Kidnapped Santa Claus Little Bun Rabbit Mark Twain A Letter from Santa Claus Louisa May Alcott A Merry Christmas Leo Tolstoy A Russian Christmas Party Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Christmas Bells The Three Kings Nikolai Gogol Christmas Eve William Dean Howells Christmas Everyday The Pony Engine and the Pacific Express Joseph Rudyard Kipling Christmas in India Elizabeth Harrison Little Gretchen and the Wooden Shoe John Milton On the Morning of Christ's Nativity Hans Christian Andersen The Fir Tree The Little Match Girl Selma Lagerlof The Holy Night Clement Moore The Night Before Christmas Henry van Dyke The Other Wise Man Beatrix Potter The Tailor of Gloucester Anton Chehov Vanka O. Henry The Gift of the Magi Hesba Stretton The Christmas Child Kenneth Grahame The Wind in the Willows Robert Louis Stevenson Christmas at Sea Walter Scott Christmas In The Olden Time Alfred Tennyson Ring out, wild bells Abbie Farwell Brown The Christmas Angel Anthony Trollope Christmas at Thompson Hall Thomas Hardy The Oxen William Butler Yeats The Magi William Makepeace Thackeray The Mahogany Tree Charles Kingsley Christmas Day Ella Wheeler Wilcox Christmas Fancies C. W. Stubbs Twas Jolly, Jolly Wat Eugene Field Jest 'Fore Christmas Paul Laurence Dunbar A Christmas Folksong William Topaz McGonagall A Tale of Christmas Eve Emily Dickinson The Savior must have been a docile Gentleman"

Alfred Tennyson, Anton Chekhov, Beatrix Potter, C. W. Stubbs, Charles Dickens, Charles Kingsley, Clement C. Moore, Elizabeth Harrison, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Emily Dickinson, Eugene Field, G.K. Chesterton, Hans Christian Andersen, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Henry van Dyke, Hesba Stretton, John Milton, Joseph Rudyard Kipling, Kenneth Grahame, L. Frank Baum, L.M. Montgomery, Leo Tolstoy, Louisa May Alcott, Mark Twain, Nikolai Gogol, O. Henry, Paul Laurence Dunbar, Robert Louis Stevenson, Selma Lagerlof, Thomas Hardy, Walter Scott, William Butler Yeats, William Dean Howells, William Thackeray, William Topaz McGonagall (Author), Chris Dabbs, Jim Girard, Peter Coates, Trevor O'Hare (Narrator)

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Temperance Gems

William Topaz McGonagall (Author), LibriVox Volunteers (Narrator)

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The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay

"LibriVox volunteers bring you nine different readings of The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay, by William McGonagall, to celebrate April Fool's Day. Scottish poet William McGonagall is widely considered to be one of the worst poets of the English language. He wrote this poem in honor of The Tay Rail Bridge which was opened in 1878 and which subsequently collapsed a year later, causing the death of 75 train passengers, and inspiring McGonagall to write yet famously bad poem entitled The Tay Bridge Disaster. This was the weekly poetry project for the week of March 26, 2006. (Summary by Annie Coleman)"

William Topaz McGonagall (Author), LibriVox Volunteers (Narrator)

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The Autobiography of William McGonagall - the world's worst poet?

"The autobiography of William Topaz McGonagall - the world's worst poet? William Topaz McGonagall is widely renowned as one of the world's worst-ever published poets. Yet his discordant muse is hugely popular all over the world - no less a figure than Spike Milligan was obsessed with him. But how do we account for this morbid fascination with verse of little or no discernible merit whatsoever? William McGonagall didn't discover he was a poet until the comparatively advanced age of 52, when he underwent something of an epiphany - the details of which you can hear in all their glory in this unintentionally hilarious and self-celebratory autobiography. Until then, he was a humble handloom weaver, eking out a living in Dundee, Scotland. But once the muse descended, there was no stopping him - he wrote over 200 poems, many celebrating places he had visited on his travels, many commemorating disasters. McGonagall had a strange relationship with misfortune - not just his own, but that experienced by others - most notably the 90 souls who died when the "Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay" collapsed in 1879 plunging the train and its passengers into the icy waters below. He was particularly obsessed with shipwrecks, composing over 20 poems on various maritime disasters. But he also branched out into conflagrations, floods and military defeats, making him an unparalleled chronicler of catastrophe. What you'll hear is not so much an autobiography, as a series in episodes in an otherwise dull and uneventful life punctuated with examples of his unparalleled verse: there's his trip to Balmoral to visit Queen Victoria - she wasn't in; an interlude in London, when a hoaxer placed an irresistible business proposition before him; sailing to New York, only to discover he could not perform there, before sailing all the way back again. And much more. So relentless was his chutzpah and self-belief, it's by turns touching, yet somehow breathtaking in its arrogance. Couldn't he tell he had no poetic talent whatsoever? This puzzle has prompted some commentators to brand McGonagall a hoax. But if the McGonagall persona is nothing but an elaborate confection, the comic genius who dreamed him up has yet to admit responsibility. And, as David Rintoul, the performer of this superb audio remarked during recording - no one appeared to have gained from the deception - least of all McGonagall himself. His frequent shortage of a shiny sixpence prompted the Monty Python team to create a similarly financially-challenged Scottish poet, one "Ewen McTeagle", whose final poem before he committed suicide was entitled "What's twenty poonds to the bloody Midland Bank?" Yet McGonagall is immortal. His verse, in all its arrhythmic, cliched awfulness, will survive us all, and is, in the poet's own words, "wonderful to behold". And now, of course, hear!"

William Topaz McGonagall (Author), David Rintoul (Narrator)

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