Audiobooks by Stephen McCauley

You Only Call When You're in Trouble: A Novel

"'André Santana's impressive narration deals with one family's contemporary problems...As one crisis bleeds into another, Santana's cool performance and objective distance make this entertaining listening.'—AudioFile “I don’t think I will find a book I love more this year.” —Jane Green, New York Times bestselling author “Funny, poignant, joyous, explosive, but most of all affirming of our connections to one another. You Only Call When You're in Trouble is a book to cherish. A book that loves you back. What more could you want, my gosh? Read it!” —Andrew Sean Greer, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Less Is Lost Is it ever okay to stop caring for others and start living for yourself? After a lifetime of taking care of his impossible but irresistible sister and his cherished niece, Tom is ready to put himself first. An architect specializing in tiny houses, he finally has an opportunity to build his masterpiece—“his last shot at leaving a footprint on the dying planet.” Assuming, that is, he can stick to his resolution to keep the demands of his needy family at bay. Naturally, that’s when his phone rings. His niece, Cecily—the real love of Tom’s life, as his boyfriend reminded him when moving out—is embroiled in a Title IX investigation at the college where she teaches that threatens her career and relationship. And after decades of lying, his sister wants him to help her tell Cecily the real identity of her father. Tom does what he’s always done—answers the call. Thus begins a journey that will change everyone’s life and demonstrate the beauty or dysfunction (or both?) of the ties that bind families together and sometimes strangle them. Warm, funny, and deeply moving, You Only Call When You’re in Trouble is an unforgettable showcase for Stephen McCauley’s distinctive voice and unique ability to create complex characters that jump off the page and straight into your heart. A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company."

Stephen McCauley (Author), André Santana (Narrator)

Audiobook

Alternatives to Sex: A Novel

"Pleasure and guilt make mischievous bedfellows in Stephen McCauley’s witty send-up of modern love, sex, and real estate. Boston real estate agent William Collins knows that his habits are slipping out of control. Due to obsessive-compulsive daily cleaning binges and a penchant for nightly online cruising for hookups, he finds his sales figures slipping despite a booming market. There’s also his ongoing struggle to collect the rent from his passive-aggressive tenant and his worries about his best friend, Edward, whom he’s certainly not in love with. Just as he decides to do something about his life, he meets Charlotte and Samuel, wealthy suburbanites looking for the perfect city apartment. “Happy couple,” he writes in his notes. “Maybe I can learn something from them.” What he ultimately discovers challenges his own assumptions about real estate, love, and desire—and what they learn from him might unravel a budding friendship, not to mention a very promising sale. Full of crackling dialogue delivered by a stellar ensemble of players, Alternatives to Sex is a smart, hilarious chronicle of life in posttraumatic, morally ambiguous America—where the desire to do good is constantly being tripped up by the need to feel good. Right now."

Stephen McCauley (Author), Stephen Bel Davies (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Easy Way Out

"Patrick O’Neil is a travel agent who never goes anywhere. His closest confidante, Sharon, is chain-smoking her way to singles hell, passing up man after man. His parents, proprietors of a suburban men’s store whose fortunes are sagging more visibly than its customers, can’t agree how best to interfere in their sons’ lives. And his lover, Arthur (a nice golden retriever of a guy to whom Patrick can’t quite commit), wants to cement their relationship by buying a house. Then a call comes in the middle of another sleepless night. Tony, Patrick’s straight-as-an-arrow younger brother, has fallen in love with a beautiful lawyer who is turning him on to … opera. Unfortunately, she’s not the woman he’s already pledged to marry. Tony’s life is a mess. Finally, the brothers have something in common."

Stephen McCauley (Author), Josh Hurley (Narrator)

Audiobook

My Ex-Life: A Novel

"'In McCauley's entertaining audiobook...[Narrator George Newbern's] tone is skillfully timed for subtle humor and thoughtful wisdom. He hits just the right notes as multiple characters face major decisions in their lives.' — AudioFile Magazine From Stephen McCauley comes a long-anticipated audiobook about love, life, and friendship. David Hedges’s life is coming apart at the seams. His job helping San Francisco rich kids get into the colleges of their (parents’) choice is exasperating; his younger boyfriend has left him; and the beloved carriage house he rents is being sold. His solace is a Thai takeout joint that delivers 24/7. The last person he expects to hear from is Julie Fiske. It’s been decades since they’ve spoken, and he’s relieved to hear she’s recovered from her brief, misguided first marriage. To him. Julie definitely doesn’t have a problem with marijuana (she’s given it up completely, so it doesn’t matter if she gets stoned almost daily) and the Airbnb she’s running out of her seaside house north of Boston is neither shabby nor illegal. And she has two whole months to come up with the money to buy said house from her second husband before their divorce is finalized. She’d just like David’s help organizing college plans for her 17-year-old daughter. That would be Mandy. To quote Barry Manilow, Oh Mandy. While she knows she’s smarter than most of the kids in her school, she can’t figure out why she’s making so many incredibly dumb and increasingly dangerous choices? When David flies east, they find themselves living under the same roof (one David needs to repair). David and Julie pick up exactly where they left off thirty years ago—they’re still best friends who can finish each other’s sentences. But there’s one broken bit between them that no amount of home renovations will fix. In prose filled with hilarious and heartbreakingly accurate one-liners, Stephen McCauley has written an audiobook that examines how we define home, family, and love. Be prepared to laugh, shed a few tears, and have thoughts of your own ex-life triggered. (Throw pillows optional.) This program includes a bonus interview with the author. Praise for My Ex-Life: 'With My Ex-Life, a heartwarming comedy of manners about second chances and starting afresh, [Stephen McCauley] has pretty much outdone himself...McCauley fires off witticisms like a tennis ace practicing serves...In the vein of inveterate beguilers like Laurie Colwin, Elinor Lipman, and Maria Semple, McCauley is warm but snappy, light but smart — and just plain enjoyable.' — NPR “McCauley’s effervescent prose is full of wit and wisdom on every topic—college application essays, Airbnb operation, weed addiction, live porn websites, and, most of all, people.... A gin and tonic for the soul.'—Kirkus 'A clever novel about exes reconnecting...Do not underestimate McCauley's witty insights or his ability to make middle-aged, sexless companionship seem wildly appealing.' — People"

Stephen McCauley (Author), George Newbern (Narrator)

Audiobook