Audiobooks by Matt Kracht

A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up. Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such as: the absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone), the utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher), the outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker), and many more! Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . . LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true. ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This uproarious guide to all things wings includes tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.

Matt Kracht (Author), Patrick Lawlor (Narrator)

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OMFG, BEES!: Bees Are So Amazing and You're About to Find Out Why

Guess what: Bees are incredible. Extreme bee enthusiast and bestselling author Matt Kracht is here to set the record straight with this helpful guidebook to all things bees. Are you ready for the ultimate bee book? With humorous quips, lists, and musings, OMFG, BEES! will show you just how important these esteemed bee-list celebrities really are. (Hint: We can't live without them.) Delving into various bee topics, from distinguishing between bees and not bees (very crucial), to exploring the absolute wonder that is bee behavior (they do a coded dance directing their bee friends to food, for crying out loud!), to divulging the mind-blowing bee magic behind honey making (within some extremely intricate and precisely constructed hexagonal honeycomb, no big deal), and more, Kracht's ode to bees paints a charming and enthusiastic picture of our favorite pollinators. This book playfully and earnestly examines different kinds of bees, from the honeybee to the teddy bear bee, providing unbelievably cool facts about bees and reasons why they deserve a lot more credit as well as our appreciation and advocacy. Because omfg, BEES!!

Matt Kracht (Author), Patrick Lawlor (Narrator)

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The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World

This must-listen sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America proves that all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks—no matter where in the world they reside. 'Full of NSFW names and descriptions for different species that'll have you LOL-ing even if you never actually go looking for said birds IRL.'—Buzzfeed Following in the tracks of the first uproarious and beloved bird book in the series, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky yet accurate names. Offering a balance of fact and wit, this uproarious profanity-laden handbook will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike.

Matt Kracht (Author), Patrick Lawlor (Narrator)

Audiobook

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The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America

National bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller Lists Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike A humorous look at fifty common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! ● Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. ● The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

Matt Kracht (Author), Patrick Lawlor (Narrator)

Audiobook

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