Audiobooks by Joe R. Lansdale

When scientist Chris West saw the video-screen image of a beautiful woman about to suffer a gruesome death in an unknown land, he didn't hesitate to race to her aid by means of an experimental matter transmitter. Plunged headlong into a world of savage men and prehistoric beasts at the Earth's core, the young ex-Marine would soon be fighting for his own life as a captive of the Mahars, cruel reptilian rulers of the inner world of Pellucidar. Also includes the bonus classic novelette "Tarzan and the Land That Time Forgot" by Joe R. Lansdale! THE FIRST UNIVERSE OF ITS KIND A century before the term "crossover" became a buzzword in popular culture, Edgar Rice Burroughs created the first expansive, fully cohesive literary universe. Coexisting in this vast cosmos was a pantheon of immortal heroes and heroines-Tarzan of the Apes, Jane Clayton, John Carter, Dejah Thoris, Carson Napier, and David Innes being only the best known among them. In Burroughs' 80-plus novels, their epic adventures transported them to the strange and exotic worlds of Barsoom, Amtor, Pellucidar, Caspak, and Va-nah, as well as the lost civilizations of Earth and even realms beyond the farthest star. Now the Edgar Rice Burroughs Universe expands in an all-new series of canonical novels written by today's talented authors! ℗ 2022 Oasis Audio © 1976, 2022 Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc., and the Estate of John Eric Holmes. All Rights Reserved. Trademarks John Carter®, John Carter of Mars®, Barsoom®, Tarzan®, Tarzan of the Apes™, Pellucidar®, Mahars™, Amtor™, Edgar Rice Burroughs Universe™, and Edgar Rice Burroughs® Owned by ERB, Inc. Associated logos, characters, names, and the distinctive likenesses thereof are trademarks or registered trademarks of ERB, Inc. Used by Permission.

Joe R. Lansdale, John Eric Holmes (Author), Johnny Heller (Narrator)

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Bubba Ho Tep / Bubba and the Cosmic Bloodsuckers

Before Bubba Ho-Tep, there was Bubba and the Cosmic Blood-Suckers. Part of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians, Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New Orleans junkyard. Besides Elvis, among these righteous warriors is a hammer-wielding descendent of John Henry of railroad fame, a blind man who sees more than those with sight, Jack, a strategic wizard, and Elvis’s right hand man and journal writer, Johnny, all thrown in with Raven (real name Jenny) a female recruit who is also a budding pop star, and like Elvis, high on the charisma chart. Their leader is none other than Colonel Parker, Elvis’s cutthroat manager, and a warrior himself, directly in contact with President Nixon, or possibly one of his doubles. It’s an unnerving peek into a secret world, and a possible delusion. It’s what happened before Elvis, aka Sebastian Haff, found himself in an East Texas rest home, mounted on a walker, fighting an Egyptian mummy and worrying about a growth on his pecker. Strange monsters, wild fights, sex with a beautiful ghost, a drug-induced trip into another dimension, and all manner of mayhem ensue, along with a Mississippi riverboat ride on a giant paddle wheel, and of course, there will be 3D glasses, fried peanut butter and ’nanna sandwiches, and a few hard-working zombies. Bring the kids, but plug their ears and blindfold them. This is one wild and nasty ride to the dark side, but with laughter.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jude Gerard Prest (Narrator)

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Moon Lake

From an Edgar award-winning author comes the gripping and unexpected tale of a lost town and the dark secrets that lie beneath the glittering waters of an East Texas lake. Daniel Russell was only thirteen years old when his father tried to kill them both by driving their car into Moon Lake. Miraculously surviving the crash-and growing into adulthood-Daniel returns to the site of this traumatic incident in the hopes of recovering his father's car and bones. As he attempts to finally put to rest the memories that have plagued him for years, he discovers something even more shocking among the wreckage that has ties to a twisted web of dark deeds, old grudges, and strange murders. As Daniel diligently follows where the mysterious trail of vengeance leads, he unveils the heroic revelation at its core.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jason Culp (Narrator)

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Of Mice and Minestrone: Hap and Leonard: The Early Years

A brand-new Hap and Leonard series collection chock full of Joe R. Lansdale’s inimitable blend of humor, mayhem, and insight, Of Mice and Minestrone delivers never-before-seen stories, a selection of the boys’ favorite recipes, by Kasey Lansdale, and an introduction from New York Times bestselling crime author Kathleen Kent. “An absolute treasure trove.”—Ace Atkins, author of The Shameless “Of Mice and Minestrone is classic Lansdale at his legendary best.... Compelling. Hilarious. Poignant'—NY Journal of Books Today’s Special: Justice, East Texan-Style Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing—all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food. So pull up a seat and sit a spell. Master storyteller Joe R. Lansdale—along with Kasey Lansdale’s down-home recipes and Kathleen Kent’s introduction—has cooked up a new passel of tales for you about the unlikeliest duo East Texas has to offer, created by his own self. About the Hap and Leonard short story series Hap and Leonard Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade The Big Book of Hap and Leonard (digital only) Lansdale’s duo made their screen debuts in the three season Hap and Leonard television series, starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), James Purefoy (The Following), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men).

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jd Jackson (Narrator)

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Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade

The iconic Texan crime-fighting, bigot-bashing duo meet in this companion to the breakout Hap and Leonard TV series As a liberal young man in East Texas, Hap Collins is discovering his passion for two-fisted justice in a redneck world. Leonard Pine—black, gay, and the ultimate outsider—is already fighting his own battles against racists and bullies. So when Hap sees Leonard demolishing an angry mob with his fists (and taunts), it’s immediately clear that these two young men have a lot in common. Discover Joe R. Lansdale's compelling coming-of-age manifesto alongside the second season of the Sundance TV Hap and Leonard series starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), and James Purefoy (The Following).

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jd Jackson (Narrator)

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Exit Wounds: Nineteen Tales of Mystery from the Modern Masters of Crime

Exit Wounds is a thrilling anthology of crime stories written by masters of the genre, including Dean Koontz, Val McDermid, Lee Child, Jeffery Deaver, Elly Griffiths, Dennis Lehane, Joe R. Lansdale, and others. After an introduction by the editors, Paul B. Kane and Marie O'Regan, this collection includes the following stories: "The Bully" by Jeffery Deaver"Dead Weight" by Fiona Cummins"Like a Glass Jaw" by Mark Billingham"On The Anatomization of an Unknown Man (1637) by Frans Mier" by John Connolly"The Pitcher" by Sarah Hilary"Disciplined" by Martyn Waites"The Consumers" by Dennis Lehane"Voices through the Wall" by Alex Gray"Wet with Rain" by Lee Child"Happy Holidays" by Val McDermid"Fool You Twice" by Steph Broadribb"Lebensraum" by Christopher Fowler"Dancing towards the Blade" by Mark Billingham"Kittens" by Dean Koontz"Take My Hand" by A. K. Benedict"Dressed to Kill" by James Oswald"Booty and the Beast" by Joe R. Lansdale"The New Lad" by Paul Finch"The Recipe" by Louise Jensen

A. K. Benedict, Alex Gray, Christopher Fowler, Dean Koontz, Dennis Lehane, Fiona Cummins, James Oswald, Jeffery Deaver, Joe R. Lansdale, John Connolly, Lee Child, Louise Jensen, Mark Billingham, Martyn Waites, Paul Finch, Sarah Hilary, Steph Broadribb, Val Mcdermid (Author), Alan Smyth, Alison Larkin, Austin Rising, Courtney Patterson, Derek Perkins, Helen Lloyd, James Langton, Jennifer Woodward, John Mclain, Justine Eyre, Kate Reading, Marisa Calin, Matthew Lloyd Davies, Peter Noble, Rachel Jacobs, Ralph Lister, Robert Fass, Ron Butler, Shiromi Arserio (Narrator)

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Jackrabbit Smile

Edgar Award-winner and fan favorite Joe R. Lansdale is back with Hap and Leonard's latest caper: investigating the disappearance of a revivalist cult leader's daughter. Hap and Leonard are an unlikely pair-Hap, a self-proclaimed white trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough-as-nails black gay Vietnam vet and Republican-but they're the closest friend either of them has in the world. Hap is celebrating his wedding to his longtime girlfriend, Brett (who is also Hap and Leonard's boss), when their backyard barbecue is interrupted by a couple of Pentecostal white supremacists. They're not too happy to see Leonard, and no one is happy to see them, but they have a problem and only Hap and Leonard will take the case. Judith Mulhaney's daughter, Jackrabbit, has been missing for five years. Well, she's been missing from them for five years, but she's been missing from everybody, including the local no-goods who ran with her, for a few months. Despite their misgivings about Judith and her son, Hap and Leonard take the case. It isn't long until they find themselves mixed up in a revivalist cult that believes Jesus will return flanked by an army of lizard-men- solving a murder to boot. With Lansdale's trademark humor, whip-smart dialogue, and plenty of ass-kicking adventures to be had, you won't want to miss Hap and Leonard's latest.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Christopher Ryan Grant (Narrator)

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Fender Lizards

Dot waitresses on roller skates at the Dairy Bob, doesn't care for smoking, at least partly on account of her dad having never returned from a cigarette run, and carries on the family tradition of philosophizing. Life hasn't done her any favors in her seventeen years so far. But if there was ever a heroine built for turning things upside down and seeing what shakes out, it's Dot. Determined to find out who she is and why she's the way she is, an opportunity presents itself when her heretofore-unknown uncle suddenly moves his camper into the front yard.As in his classic novels The Bottoms and The Magic Wagon, Lansdale instills place with character and character with place. Here is an overlooked world and a cast of real folks that prove unforgettable, all rendered in one of American fiction's most authentic voices.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Kasey Lansdale (Narrator)

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Nights of the Living Dead: An Anthology

In 1968, the world experienced a brand-new kind of terror with the debut of George A. Romero's landmark movie Night of the Living Dead. The newly dead rose to attack the living. Not as vampires or werewolves. This was something new ... and terrifying. Since then, zombies have invaded every aspect of popular culture.But it all started on that dreadful night in a remote farmhouse ... Nights of the Living Dead returns to that night, to the outbreak, to where it all began. New York Times bestselling author Jonathan Maberry teams with the godfather of the living dead himself, George A. Romero, to present a collection of all-new tales set during the forty-eight hours of that legendary outbreak.Nights of the Living Dead includes stories by some of today's most important writers: Brian Keene, Carrie Ryan, Chuck Wendig, Craig E. Engler, David J. Schow, David Wellington, Isaac Marion, Jay Bonansinga, Joe R. Lansdale, John A. Russo, John Skipp, Keith R. A. DeCandido, Max Brallier, Mike Carey, Mira Grant, Neal and Brendan Shusterman, and Ryan Brown. Plus original stories by Romero and Maberry!For anyone who loves scary stories, take a bite out of this!

George A. Romero, Joe R. Lansdale, Jonathan Maberry, Various Authors, Various Authors (Author), Adenrele Ojo, Gabrielle De Cuir, Gabrielle de Cuir, Kasey Lansdale, Kristoffer Tabori, Nicholas Guy Smith, Nicholas Guy Smith, Ray Porter, Rex Linn, Richard Gilliland, Stefan Rudnicki, Various, Various Narrators, Various Narrators (Narrator)

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Rusty Puppy

Hap and Leonard investigate a racially motivated murder that threatens to tear apart their East Texas town. While Hap, a former 60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, is recovering from a life-threatening stab wound, Louise Elton comes into Hap and Leonard's PI office to tell him that the police have killed her son, Jamar. Months earlier, a bully cop pulled over and sexually harassed Jamar's sister, Charm. The officer followed Charm over the course of the next couple of months, leading Jamar to videotape and take notes on the cop and his partner. The next thing Louise hears, Jamar got in a fight and is killed in the projects by local hoods. It doesn't add up: he was a straight A student, destined for better things, until he began to ask too many questions about the racist police force. Leonard, a tough black gay Vietnam vet and Republican, joins Hap in the investigation, and they stumble upon the racial divides that have shaped their Eastern Texas town. But if anyone can navigate these pitfalls and bring the killers to justice, it's Hap and Leonard. Filled with Lansdale's trademark whip-smart dialogue, colorful characters, and relentless pacing, Rusty Puppy is Joe Lansdale at his page-turning best.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Christopher Ryan Grant (Narrator)

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Honky Tonk Samurai

NOW THE BASIS OF THE NEW SERIES ON SUNDANCETV. Only Hap and Leonard would catch a cold case with hot cars, hot women, and ugly skinheads. The story starts simply enough when Hap, a former 60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough black, gay Vietnam vet and Republican with an addiction to Dr. Pepper, are working a freelance surveillance job in East Texas. The uneventful stakeout is coming to an end when the pair witness a man abusing his dog. Leonard takes matters into his own fists, and now the bruised dog abuser wants to press charges. One week later, a woman named Lilly Buckner drops by their new PI office with a proposition: find her missing granddaughter, or she'll turn in a video of Leonard beating the dog abuser. The pair agrees to take on the cold case and soon discover that the used car dealership where her granddaughter worked is actually a front for a prostitution ring. The mystery of her disappearance only deepens from there. Filled with Lansdale's trademark whip-smart dialogue, relentless pacing, and unorthodox characters, Honky Tonk Samurai is a rambunctious thrill ride by one hell of a writer.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Christopher Ryan Grant (Narrator)

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Paradise Sky

A Library Journal Best Book of 2015! A rollicking novel about Nat Love, an African-American cowboy with a famous nickname: Deadwood Dick. Young Willie is on the run, having fled his small Texas farm when an infamous local landowner murdered his father. A man named Loving takes him in and trains him in the fine arts of shooting, riding, reading, and gardening. When Loving dies, Willie re-christens himself Nat Love in tribute to his mentor, and heads west. In Deadwood, South Dakota Territory, Nat becomes a Buffalo Soldier and is befriended by Wild Bill Hickok. After winning a famous shooting match, Nat's peerless marksmanship and charm earn him the nickname Deadwood Dick, as well as a beautiful woman. But the hellhounds are still on his trail, and they brutally attack Nat Love's love. Pursuing the men who have driven his wife mad, Nat heads south for a final, deadly showdown against those who would strip him of his home, his love, his freedom, and his life.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Brad Sanders (Narrator)

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