Audiobooks by Frank Portman

"From Frank Portman comes the long-awaited sequel to the beloved cult classic King Dork, of which John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars, said, "Basically, if you are a human being with even a vague grasp of the English language, King Dork will rock your world." Aside from the stitches and the head wound, Tom Henderson is the same old King Dork. He's still trying to work out who to blame for the new scar on his forehead, the memory loss, and his father's mysterious death. But illicit female hospital visitations, The Catcher in the Rye, and the Hillmont High sex-pocalypse have made him a new man. What doesn't make you stronger can kill you, though, and tenth grade, act two, promises to be a killer. Tom's down one bloodstained army coat, one Little Big Tom, and two secret semi-imaginary girlfriends. Now his most deeply held beliefs about alphabetical-order friendship, recycling, school spirit, girls, rock and roll, the stitching on jeans, the Catcher Code, and the structure of the universe are about to explode in his face. If only a female robot's notes could solve the world's problems, he'd have a chance. But how likely is that? King Dork Approximately--it feels like the first time. Like the very first time. Praise for King Dork Approximately: "A hilarious peek into the male adolescent mind . . . [and] inside this sarcastic teen is the soul of a poet who makes this comedic tale a refreshingly insightful read."-VOYA "Utterly enjoyable, this book's culture-meets-romantic-confusion focus makes it a teen take on Nick Hornby's High Fidelity."-Booklist "Tom's irreverent voice and sharply observed, deeply funny insights about public education and the teen social order carry the story."-Publishers Weekly "Portman has crafted a perceptive protagonist, whose brilliantly wry observations will keep readers laughing and whose voice is infused with an all-too-believable mix of innocence and cynicism."-School Library Journal "King Dork Approximately is a smart and sardonic sequel, a book for all ages.'-Largeheartedboy.com "Whether you're male or female, old or young, these two books will put into words feelings that you've always struggled first to express and then to repress.'-Reason.com "Sarcastic and funny, but it's also super smart and insightful about the lives of teenagers."-Bustle.com"

Frank Portman (Author), Lincoln Hoppe (Narrator)

Audiobook

Andromeda Klein

"From Frank Portman, author of the cult classic King Dork that John Green says 'will rock your world', comes a novel about Andromeda Klein, who has a few problems of her own. Her hair is kind of horrible. Her partner-in-occultism, Daisy, is dead. Her secret, estranged, much older and forbidden boyfriend-in-theory, has gone AWOL. And her mother has learned how to text. In short, things couldn't get much worse. Until they do. Daisy seems to be attempting to make contact from beyond, books are starting to disappear from the library, and then, strangely and suddenly, Andromeda's tarot readings are beginning to predict events with bizarrely literal accuracy. Omens are everywhere. Dreams; swords; fires; hidden cards; lost, broken, and dead cell phones . . . and what is Daisy trying to tell her? In the ensuing struggle of neutral versus evil, it's Andromeda Klein against the world, modern society, demonic forces, and the 'friends' of the library."

Frank Portman (Author), Deirdre Lovejoy (Narrator)

Audiobook

King Dork

"As John Green, New York Times bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars said, "King Dork will rock your world." The cult favorite from Frank Portman, aka Dr. Frank of the Mr. T. Experience, is a book like nothing ever done before--King Dork literally has something for everyone: At least a half-dozen mysteries, love, mistaken identity, girls, monks, books, blood, bubblegum, and rock and roll. This book is based on music--a passion most kids have--and it has original (hilarious) songs and song lyrics throughout. When Tom Henderson finds his deceased father's copy of J. D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, his world is turned upside down. Suddenly high school gets more complicated: Tom (aka King Dork) is in the middle of at least half a dozen mysteries involving dead people, naked people, fake people, a secret code, girls, and rock and roll. As he goes through sophomore year, he finds clues that may very well solve the puzzle of his father's death and-oddly-reveal the secret to attracting semi-hot girls (the secret might be being in a band, if he can find a drummer who can count to four. A brilliant story told in first person, King Dork includes a glossary and a bandography, which readers will find helpful and hilarious. Praise for King Dork: "Basically, if you are a human being with even a vague grasp of the English language, King Dork, will rock your world."-John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars "[No account of high school] has made me laugh more than King Dork. . . . Grade A."-Entertainment Weekly "Impossibly brilliant."-Time "Provides a window into what it would be like if Holden Caulfield read The Catcher in the Rye."-New York Post [STAR] "Original, heartfelt, and sparkling with wit and intelligence. This novel will linger long in readers' memories."-School Library Journal, Starred [STAR] "A biting and witty high-school satire."-Kirkus Reviews, Starred [STAR] "Tom's narration is piercingly satirical and acidly witty."-The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books, Starred "Loaded with sharp and offbeat humor."-USA Today "King Dork is smart, funny, occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear about what it's like to be in high school."-San Francisco Chronicle "King Dork: Best Punk Rock Book Ever."-The Village Voice "I love this book as much as I hated high school, and that's some of the highest praise I can possibly give."-Bookslut.com"

Frank Portman (Author), Lincoln Hoppe (Narrator)

Audiobook