Audiobooks by Chris Harris

If You Laugh, I'm Starting This Book Over

"Perfect for fans of The Book With No Pictures, The Serious Goose and Press Here, this hilarious interactive picture book is guaranteed to be a major hit at storytime! Okay, kid… I have a BIG THING that I really want to tell you. But it's VERY SERIOUS. So please, NO LAUGHING while I read you this book. Because…IF YOU LAUGH, I'M STARTING THIS BOOK OVER! In this riotous read-aloud from the bestselling author of I'm Just No Good at Rhyming and The Alphabet's Alphabet, the reader insists that listeners MUST. NOT. LAUGH-but the demand NOT to laugh leads to the absolutely irresistible temptation to do just that! Chock full of silly narrative twists and giggle-worthy character names this interactive romp is sure to become a new storytime essential, whether you make it to the end or not! Don't miss these other books by Chris Harris: The Alphabet's Alphabet I'm Just No Good at Rhyming: And Other Nonsense for Mischievous Children and Immature Grownups My Head Has a Bellyache: And More Nonsense for Mischievous Children and Immature Grownups"

Chris Harris (Author), Fred Berman (Narrator)

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Terror: Zombie Castle Book 6

"The dead may be fading. Something worse is coming. A brutal winter brings an eerie quiet. Undead attacks slow, and for the first time, there is a flicker of peace. Tom and his people remain cautious, knowing better than to trust the calm. Summoned to Cornwall by a desperate plea for help, their mission is clear: fortify the peninsula and establish a haven for the living. Inspired by the endurance of Warwick Castle, they begin building a colossal earthen wall to cut off the mainland and secure the future. At the castle, hope is reborn with the arrival of the first baby since the collapse, yet as the frost recedes a new threat emerges. Faster. Smarter. Deadlier. Now, the ancient stone walls are the last defence in the final stand for humanity. Listen to the epic conclusion to Chris Harris’ Zombie Castle series now."

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

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Vanguard: Zombie Castle Book 5

"The residents of Warwick Castle and those survivors who have carved a home for themselves around the fleet in the Solent and the Scilly Isles meet, not to celebrate their achievements, but to plan. Gathered supplies need to be transported to those small islands, so a deep-water port must be secured with a base established to protect it. Tom and his friends must work not only to ensure their own survival, but that of thousands they have yet to meet. The remaining military leadership reveal the location of a huge store of ammunition once used to supply the British Armed Forces, but the mission to secure those much-needed supplies reveals again the depths of depravation some will sink to when society collapses. Winter begins to set in and hidden away from the eyes of the living the zombies undergo a change to achieve their final goal in their quest to eradicate the human race."

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

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Variable Valve Timings: Memoirs of a car tragic

"Brought to you by Penguin. Tyre destruction, power slides and continuous drooling Chris Harris has driven more cars than most people could ever dream of. His vast knowledge is legendary. He calls it 'unhinged geekery'. But we call it infectious enthusiasm, adrenaline-fueled escapism and peerless journalistic rigour and integrity. And then there are his famous skills at the wheel, from city cars to rally cars, F1 to vintage, not forgetting the Guinness World Record 3.4km sideways in an electric car. And now for the first time, Harris is going all out with that unhinged geekery, and takes us down the road of his life-long adventure with the automobile - from the Scalextric track to the Nürburgring 24 Hour, via his own formative low-powered Somerset version of The Dukes of Hazard. A highly individual, petrol-soaked life story that's all down to variable valve timings. ©2023 Chris Harris (P)2023 Penguin Audio"

Chris Harris (Author), Chris Harris (Narrator)

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My Head Has a Bellyache: And More Nonsense for Mischievous Kids and Immature Grown-Ups

"This hilarious follow-up to the New York Times bestselling poetry book I'm Just No Good at Rhyming is full of surprising twists of wit and wordplay that will have readers rolling on the floor laughing! "Highly recommended, it gets 5 stars and 8 moons and a chef's kiss and a tip of the hat and a jump in the lake from me."-Bob Odenkirk, award-winning actor, writer, and comedian I'm Just No Good at Rhyming is this century's most acclaimed comedic poetry collection so far, described as "a worthy heir to Silverstein, Seuss, and even Ogden Nash" (PublishersWeekly), "wildly imaginative...inspired and inspiring" (Kirkus), and as "everything a book for kids should be" (B.J. Novak). Now, Chris Harris delivers all that and more with dazzling new heights of creativity, kooky conundrums, witty wordsmithing, and of course, wacky laugh-out-loud fun! There's a whole new cast of characters to meet, from the Nail-Clipping Fairy (who delivers teeth at night), to Orloc the Destroyer (who can be defeated only by his mommy), to the Elderly Caveman (who complains about the younger generation obsessed with playing with fire). There are more mind-bending verbal and visual riddles, plus there's plenty of hilarious hijinks hiding around every corner, whether it's a buffalo that escapes one poem and roams through others or a meteor threatening to land on the book and obliterate everything. There's even a mini book-within-a-book! In between it all, cartoonist Andrea Tsurumi's diverse range of exuberant people, creatures, and anthropomorphic objects ripple through the pages with playful energy. If your head has a bellyache as you read this book, it will only be because you're laughing WAY. TOO. HARD!"

Chris Harris (Author), Chris Harris, Isla Muchmore, Jack Caleb, Jozie Harris, Lisa Cahn, Robert Petkoff (Narrator)

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Death and Glory: Immortal's Ascent, Book 1

"Gavin fights for freedom, Sadira for glory.Together, they will face death. Together, they will seek ascension. In the Domains, those born with magic have only one place where they can prove themselves worthy of it: the brutal pits of the arena, where they will either grow in power and build a following with every victory, or risk dishonor and death in defeat. For these 'Gladiators', the ultimate prize for their struggle is a place among the Chosen, the immortal rulers of that vast and decadent empire. Gavin is an unlikely warrior trying to find his place in the savagery of the arena. Sadira, a star Gladiatrix already favored by all. When happenstance brings them together, the pair set out to earn themselves a place at the Grand Championships, vying to see their names carved in the annals of history. With survival and immortality on the line, can they hold together against the vicious realities of the fighting grounds and the machinations of the Chosen? Monsters and magic await them. The white sands call for blood."

Chris Harris, Luke Chmilenko (Author), Luke Daniels (Narrator)

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The Alphabet's Alphabet

"For fans of P is for Pterodactyl comes this groundbreaking spin on the ABCs from an acclaimed bestselling author and artist duo! Here's a totally twisted take on the alphabet that invites readers to look at it in a whole new way: An A is an H that just won't stand up right, a B is a D with its belt on too tight, and a Z is an L in a tug-of-war fight! Twenty-six letters, unique from each other -- and yet, every letter looks just like one another! Kind of like...one big family. From two bestselling masters of wordplay and visual high jinks comes a mind-bending riddle of delightful doppelgängers and surprising disguises that reveal we're more alike than we may think. You'll never look at the alphabet the same way again!"

Chris Harris (Author), Katie Schorr (Narrator)

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ZC Four: Zombie Castle Series Book 4

"How safe is safe? Continue the story of the Zombie Castle from Chris Harris, author of UKD: The UK Dark Trilogy. Having reached Warwick Castle, the group discover it is all they had hoped it would be, but they have no time to rest. Much work is needed to make it impregnable and supplies need to be gathered to sustain them. Willie and the soldiers are following in their footsteps. Will they be able to navigate the zombie-infested wasteland that was England and be reunited once again? Remnants of the once proud Royal Navy are still gathering a growing number of desperate citizens round them as they search for a safe refuge. When they are strong enough will they be able to begin to take back their country from the legions of zombies?"

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

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Uprising

"The invaders are continuing to strengthen their hold over an America still reeling. But in the hills, woods, and countryside small sparks of rebellion are taking hold, fanning the fires of patriotism that will unite the country against a common enemy. Finally free from the clutches of Fen Shu, President Madeline Tanner refuses to leave her fellow countrymen to their fate. She is their leader and will stop at nothing to protect her people. While the rest of the world stands by and watches, a few nations decide they must stand against Chinese aggression and, despite threats to their own countries, join the battle. The Uprising is beginning."

Chris Harris (Author), Neil Hellegers (Narrator)

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ZC One: Zombie Castle Series Book 1

"It was intended to eradicate the common cold; instead it eradicated most of the human race. A genetically modified virus killer mutates, transforming everyone it infects into zombies. As it rapidly spreads across the globe, small groups of survivors battle to stay alive and escape the growing hordes of flesh eaters. Tom, Becky and their two children are on a family holiday when the virus hits. Follow them as they try to fight their way to safety, gathering others along the way. They soon realise that their best chance of survival will be to reach an ancient symbol of power and strength. Their future and safety lie behind a castle's walls. Together they must undertake a daunting one-hundred-mile journey. Will they make it?"

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

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ZC Two: Zombie Castle Series Book 2

"A genetically modified virus mutates, transforming everyone it infects into zombies, wiping out most of the human race. Across the world, small pockets of survivors fight to stay alive and escape the terrifying hordes of flesh eaters. Tom, Becky and their two children are trying to fight their way to safety, and finding other survivors along the route, their numbers swell. Their ultimate goal is to make their way to the place they've come to call their Zombie Castle, a place they hope is defensible, where they can survive and prosper, safe from the attacking zombies. It represents to them an ancient symbol of power and strength, the two elements crucial to their continued survival. Knowing there is safety in numbers, the group works together, their hope being that they can find more family and friends still alive to take with them. They begin the daunting journey to find it."

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

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ZC Three: Zombie Castle Series Book 3

"Tom, Becky and their two children are now part of a band travelling together towards their goal: their Zombie Castle. They know exactly where they need to get to in order to survive the zombie-infested world they are now living in. It has already been a dangerous journey, battling zombies to save themselves and rescue others along the way. An unexpected addition to their band of survivors are a group of knights, complete with mediaeval weaponry and the skills to go with them. But with new travellers come families to be sought and the fight to get to them to see if any have survived. They have honed their zombie-fighting techniques, adapting tools to become weapons, vehicles to become marauding fighting platforms, and begin to believe they have a chance of making a new life, if they can only reach their goal. But it seems that zombies are not their only enemy, and they are forced to face the darker side of humanity to get there."

Chris Harris (Author), Rory Barnett (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks by Chris Harris

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