Becoming a member of the LoveReading community is free.

No catches, no fine print just unadulterated book loving, with your favourite books saved to your own digital bookshelf.

New members get entered into our monthly draw to win £100 to spend in your local bookshop Plus lots lots more…

Find out more

How to Be a Footballer

by Peter Crouch

Humorous and Funny Books Sport

How to Be a Footballer Synopsis

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay GBP250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

How to Be a Footballer Press Reviews

Peter Crouch is a comedy genius - Daily Mail

The funniest man in British sport - Metro

If you loved this, you might like these...

George Best: A Memoir
Do You Know What? Life According to Freddie Flintoff
The Man and His Bike Musings on life and the art of cycling
Ali: A Life

All versions of this book

ISBN: 9781785039768
Publication date: 06/09/2018
Publisher: Ebury Press an imprint of Ebury Publishing
Format: Hardback

Book Information

ISBN: 9781785039768
Publication date: 6th September 2018
Author: Peter Crouch
Publisher: Ebury Press an imprint of Ebury Publishing
Format: Hardback
Pagination: 304 pages
Genres: Humour, Sport,
Categories: Autobiography: sport, Football (Soccer, Association football),

About Peter Crouch

First things first: yes I am very tall, no the weather isn't different up here, and no I don't play basketball. Glad that's out the way. I've been a professional footballer for 20 years, have 42 England caps, have scored over 100 Premier League goals and hold the record for the most headed goals in Premier League history. I've been at a fair few clubs too, including Queens Park Rangers, Portsmouth, Aston Villa, Norwich, Southampton, Liverpool, Portsmouth, Tottenham Hotspur, Stoke and England. In my time I've been promoted, relegated, won trophies, gone months without scoring, been bought, sold, loaned and abused - and ...

More About Peter Crouch

Share this book