LoveReading has teamed up with Audiobooks.com to give you the chance to get 2 free audiobooks when you sign up. Try it for 30 days for free with no strings attached. You can cancel anytime, although we're sure you'll love it. Click the button to find out more:
Find out more
Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015) was born in 1948 in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire. He had his first story published when he was just thirteen, and after leaving school at seventeen to become a journalist he continued writing, publishing his first novel, The Carpet People, in 1971 and going on to produce the phenomenally successful Discworld and his trilogy for young readers, The Bromeliad. His first Discworld novel for children, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents was awarded the 2001 Carnegie Medal.
Terry Pratchett as well as numerous other books, winning many awards and becoming the UK’s bestselling author. He was appointed OBE in 1998.
He died in March 2015 after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. You can find out more about his life and work at www.terrypratchettbooks.com
Clever, funny and on occasion just plain daft, this is the perfect stocking filler for kids and Terry Pratchett fans alike. Open the pages and find eleven short stories which have been fabulously illustrated by Mark Beech. The text marches up hill and down dale, in between, over and under the illustrations, shouting, bursting, capering across the page so the story and illustrations become a glorious Christmas pudding mix of a read, give it a stir and get ready to duck as the tales take flight. The stories made me chuckle, in fact as soon as I had read the first offering, ‘Father Christmas’s Fake Beard’, I promptly insisted my husband read it too (it’s always the sign of a good book when I do that!). Yes this is a kids book, and yes I fully expect that adults will get just as much enjoyment from the stories as the children. A Terry Pratchett book was always on my Christmas list, I treat each and every one of them with love… set a new fan in motion, or delight a well established one - this is a proper little gem.
The completely and totally wonderful wiz(z)ard of words Terry Pratchett, has departed for what I'm sure will be a very interesting conversation, with cat and curry loving Death. Terry Pratchett has been one of my favourite authors since I was a teenager, and has left behind the gobsmackingly fabulous Discworld series. Having devoured and adored every single one, I felt rather hesitant about reading this, his 41st and last novel. I had contemplated leaving it for a while, setting it by, so it could wait, knowingly, raising its eyebrows at me. In the end, of course I couldn't resist and I just sank into the story and as I read, relived all the feelings this series has evoked in me. Tiffany Aching has to be on her mettle, a twisted powerful enemy is set for battle, Tiffany needs all the help she can get, including the Wee Free Men and of course she definitely needs Granny Weatherwax. Terry Pratchett has made me laugh (a lot), cry, and all the emotions inbetween, most importantly he has has made me consider, discover and think about our own world. I loved every second, every word of ‘The Shepherd’s Crown’, it has become one of my most loved and hugged books, and sits in pride of place on my bookshelf.
A Shivering Of Worlds. Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land. There will be a reckoning...The Final DiscWorld Novel.
Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw's invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc. From the twine walk of Great Slack to the souks of Zemphis: edifying sights along the route; Ticketing, nostrums and transporting your swamp dragon: essential hints on the practicalities of travel; Elegant resorts and quaint inns: respectable and sanitary lodgings for all species and heights; and From worm-herding to Fustic Cake: diverting trivia on the crafts, foods and brassica traditions of the many industrious people for whom the railway is now a vital link to the Century of the Anchovy. Fully illustrated and replete with useful titbits, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook offers a view of the Sto Plains like no other.
It's all change for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, conman, and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office. A steaming, clanging new invention, driven by Dick Simnel, the man with t'flat cap and t'sliding rule, is drawing astonished crowds - including a few particularly keen young men armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear - and suddenly it's a matter of national importance that the trains run on time. Moist does not enjoy hard work. His ...vital input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn't involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters. What he does enjoy is being alive, which may not be a perk of running the new railway. Because, of course, some people have Objections, and they'll go to extremes to stop locomotion in its tracks.
This title comes with a foreword by Neil Gaiman. Terry Pratchett has earned a place in the hearts of readers the world over with his bestselling Discworld series - but in recent years he has become equally well-known and respected as an outspoken campaigner for causes including Alzheimer's research and animal rights. A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him. With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying.
To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear. Moist von Lipwig is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital...but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse...Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails...
In the four decades since his first book appeared in print, Terry Pratchett has become one of the world's best-selling and best-loved authors. Here for the first time are his short stories and other short form fiction collected into one volume. A Blink of the Screen charts the course of Pratchett's long writing career: from his schooldays through to his first writing job on the Bucks Free Press,; to the origins of his debut novel, The Carpet People ; and on again to the dizzy mastery of the phenomenally successful Discworld series. Here are characters both familiar and yet to be discovered; abandoned worlds and others still expanding; adventure, chickens, death, disco and, actually, some quite disturbing ideas about Christmas,all of it shot through with his inimitable brand of humour. With an introduction by Booker Prize-winning author A.S. Byatt, illustrations by the late Josh Kirby and drawings by the author himself, this is a book to treasure.
Dodger is a tosher - a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn't. But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger's tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins...
Winner of the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction 2012. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment. They say that in the end all sins are forgiven. But not quite all...
I’ve lost track of how many Discworld novels have flowed from the pen of the incomparable Terry Pratchett, thirty or so I believe. This is the latest madcap adventure from the world that so resembles ours yet is nothing like it. Having brought gnomes, newspapers and the post office to his creation, Pratchett now tackles football. It is a compelling mystery wrapped in exciting adventure wrapped in effortless parody wrapped in genius. As with all Pratchett’s work it is a joy to read and hard to put down but I would advise new readers to start a bit further back in the series in order to fully appreciate the cameo appearances of established characters here. Comparison: Christopher Fowler, Tom Holt, Jasper Fforde.
Well Sir Terry has reached his 37th Discworld novel with Unseen Academicals and all the wonderful weirdness and humour is still there, this time revolving around a team of wizards who have to win a game of football without using any magic. Terry Pratchett is still very much on form.
Shortlisted for the CILIP Carnegie Medal 2010. Shortlisted for the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize 2009 Hugely entertaining, this is a fully envisaged fantasy adventure, which makes serious points about the importance of the past from the master storyteller and author of the hugely popular Discworld series. Survival! Mau’s world is bowled over and swept away by a towering Tsunami. His past life has vanished and he must build a new life with the scraps he has left. Luckily, someone else has survived too and soon Daphne, or Trouser-Man as Mau calls her, are creating a new Nation building on the bits of knowledge from the past which won’t die away. The novel has been adapted for the stage – Olivier Theatre at The National Theatre in London - by the controversial playwright Mark Ravenhill. Nation will be the National’s family show opening in November 2009, following the success of previous family-friendly productions, His Dark Materials, Coram Boy and War Horse. Described by National Theatre Artistic Director Nicholas Hytner as “a wonderful book and, I suspect, perfect for an Olivier adaptation”, Nation is set on a desert island following a tsunami which wiped out most of the population.
We thought it was essential to have at least one Terry Pratchett novel in our launch of our teenage and young adult category ‘NewGenâ. This one is Pratchett at his side-splitting best – itâs funny, itâs unputdownable and no one else writes quite like and has the imagination of this great man. Thereâs a risk that theyâll never be spring again when the spirit of winter falls in love with Tiffany Aching, a young witch who had acted out of place. With help from friends, Tiffany must sort everything out if she wants to make sure that flowers will bloom again. A beautiful fantasy from a prize-winning storyteller.
The latest from this master storyteller and humorist. Having successfully transformed the post office in Going Postal, Moist, Discworld’s most upright reformed criminal, is put in charge of the Mint, and the usual mayhem ensues. I defy anyone not to find Pratchett funny. Whether you are a newcomer or a hardened fan, the Discworld is one of literature’s most enjoyable places and this latest novel is true to form; delightful and funny.
Featured on The Book Show on Sky Arts on 1 April 2010. A writer who had more titles on the BBC’s Big Read Top 100 than any other living author, only Charles Dickens matched him. At the start Pratchett was categorised comic fantasy for he sets his Discworld books in an alternative universe and peoples them with witches, wizards and the like. It is a stage upon which he places his players in situations that enables him to mirror our world and therefore pinpoint its faults, idiosyncratic traits, ludicrous bureaucracy or just plain prejudices, injustices, stupidity and the like, i.e. he has developed into one of the most important satirists writing today. This astute masterpiece tears into the postal service. Truth did the same for the newspaper industry. Monstrous Regiment is one of the best books on war and gender you are likely to come across. He is a man who needs reading. His next Discworld, Thud, comes into hardback at the same time.Comparison: Jasper Fforde, Douglas Adams, Robert Rankin.Similar this month: None but try Haruki Murakami or Stephen Donaldson.
Terry Pratchett is not only a great writer of comic fantasy but a brilliant satirist of our age. In this novel he explores race relations between the Trolls and Dwarfs of Ankh- Morpork, two groups that can never see eye to eye. The parallels to our present troubles are mistakable. It is a hugely entertaining read, like so much of his work, hilarious on the surface, but with a poignant and socially relevant underlying message. This one features Commander Vomes, once again solving impossible crimes, bringing the city to justice and getting home at exactly six o’clock to read Where’s my Cow?” to his new son. Interestingly the child’s picture book of Where’s my Cow? from the novel has also been written and published and it is stunning, in my mind, an essential purchase alongside this latest Discworld novel. Comparison: Jasper Fforde, Douglas Adams, Robert Rankin.Similar this month: None, but try Stephen Donaldson.
Who would have believed back in 1985 that this first introduction into the madcap Discworld which satirised fantasy novels and introduced us to some fantastic characters would turn into the Discworld series numbering some thirty works. If you have wondered where to start in this huge series (which need not be read in order) then start here and read The Light Fantastic straight after it. They are great books. A "Piece of Passion" from the publisher... ‘The very first novel in what turned into the celebrated, magisterial Discworld series, this novel was first published by Corgi in 1985. Although the more recent novels in the series have become more layered, satirical and thoughtful (number thirty-seven, Unseen Academicals, is the most recent) The Colour of Magic must remain one of my all-time favourites, for its soaring inventiveness, sparky parody and madcap humour – and for introducing us in the first place to that flat World so very different from, yet so very like our own. ' Marianne Velmans, Publishing Director at Transworld
If ever there was a Discworld novel to introduce new readers to Pratchett’s brilliance, this is it. And don’t worry if you aren’t familiar – try this and then work through the 30+ others.
The first of the Johnny Maxwell trilogy, aimed at younger readers but accessible to all, deals with perceptions of reality, humanity, gender, race and conflict in Pratchett's famously light and witty style. Set against the first Gulf War and the break-up of his parents, young Johnny's world is shaken when the alien invaders from his computer game ask him to save them from the humans. Pratchett's deeply clever humour makes difficult subjects understandable, action sequences compelling and characters charmingly human, whatever their species. One of my all time favourite books. Comparison: John Connolly (Gates of Hell), James Patterson (Maximum Ride); Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl). Only You Can Save Mankind - The Musical. Only You Can Save Mankind the musical premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2004, receiving stunning reviews, amongst them Charles Spencer of the Daily Telegraph who said "the songs are excellent - witty - melodic and with a couple of soaring power ballads that are deeply affecting. This is clearly a show with a future." Only You Can Save Mankind - The Album. This release of the overture and five songs is the prelude to that future for a show now gathering the investment for a national tour. The recorded songs have a selecton of voices from the West End, Daniel Boys and Sharon D Clarke amongst them. Available now to download on i-tunes or to pre-order a CD, go to www.ifnotyouthenwho.com.
EVERY LAND NEEDS ITS OWN WITCH . . . Up on the Wold, there's a monster in the river and a headless horseman in the drive. And now Granny Aching has gone, there's only young Tiffany Aching left to guard the boundaries. To stop . . . things getting through. It's her land. Her duty. But it's amazing how useful a horde of unruly pictsies can be - as long as they are pointed in the right direction and can stop fighting each other first . . . FROM MASTER STORYTELLER TERRY PRATCHETT
'Whoever said you can't fool an honest man wasn't one' The Royal Bank is facing a crisis, and it's time for a change of management. Who would not wish for that job? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint runs at a loss, and people actually want to know where the money's gone. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies. What he should be doing is . . . Making Money!
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different... Collected together for the first time are seven full-cast BBC Radio dramatisations of Terry Pratchett's novels, with star-studded casts including Martin Jarvis, Sheila Hancock, Anton Lesser, Philip Jackson, Alex Jennings and Mark Heap. Now being published for the very first time, the adaptations in this collection are: Mort Hopeless young peasant Mort is hired as an apprentice to Death. He'll have free board, use of the company horse, and being dead isn't even compulsory. In fact, it's a dream job - until he discovers that it can be a killer on his love life... Wyrd Sisters Three witches meet on a blasted heath. A king is cruelly murdered. A child heir and the kingdom's crown are both missing. But Granny Weatherwax finds that meddling in royal politics is a lot more complicated than certain playwrights would have you believe... Guards! Guards! In Ankh-Morpork, the Haves and the Have-Nots are about fall out. Again. The Night Watch's Captain Vimes is used to this but when the Have-Nots find the key to a lethal, dormant weapon that even they don't understand, he knows it's time so sober up. Eric When precocious young Eric Thursley summons a demon from the loathsome pit to fulfil his every wish, he wants what everyone wants - immortality, to rule the world, and have the most beautiful woman love him. Instead he gets Rincewind, the Disc's most incompetent wizard. Small Gods On the Discworld, Gods are as numerous as herring roe, all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, you need an acolyte, and fast. For the Great God Om, Brutha is the Chosen One, or at least the only One available... Night Watch Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy, especially when there is a serial killer on the loose who targets coppers. Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch is back in his own rough, tough past, and he has a job to do. ***Bonus Story*** In addition to these Discworld novels, this collection will also include a full-cast dramatisation of Only You Can Save Mankind, from the Johnny Maxwell series. As an alien fleet crosses his computer screen, Johnny prepares to blow the ScreeWee into a million pieces...
Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
'Some people would be asking: whose side are you on? If you're not for us, you're against us. Huh. If you're not an apple, you're a banana' Koom Valley, where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
An illustrated edition of Truckers by Terry Pratchett. Terry Pratchett's extraordinary, and extraordinarily funny, book, Truckers, available for the first time in an edition beautifully illustrated by Mark Beech. Imagine that all around you, hidden from sight, there are thousands of tiny people. They are four inches tall, brave, stubborn and resourceful. They are the nomes. The nomes in this story live under the floorboards of a large Department Store and have never been Outside. In fact, they don't even believe in Outside. But new nomes arrive, from - where else? - and they bring with them terrifying news: the Store is closing down and Everything Must Go . . . The fantastically funny first book of the nomes, from the author of the bestselling Discworld series.
Clever, funny and on occasion just plain daft, this is the perfect stocking filler for kids and Terry Pratchett fans alike. Open the pages and find eleven short stories which have been fabulously illustrated by Mark Beech. The text marches up hill and down dale, in between, over and under the illustrations, shouting, bursting, capering across the page so the story and illustrations become a glorious Christmas pudding mix of a read, give it a stir and get ready to duck as the tales take flight. The stories made me chuckle, in fact as soon as I had read the first offering, ‘Father Christmas’s Fake Beard’, I promptly insisted my husband read it too (it’s always the sign of a good book when I do that!). Yes this is a kids book, and yes I fully expect that adults will get just as much enjoyment from the stories as the children. A Terry Pratchett book was always on my Christmas list, I treat each and every one of them with love… set a new fan in motion, or delight a well established one - this is a proper little gem.
Bereits mit 13 Jahren veroffentlichte Terry Pratchett seine erste Geschichte und wurde uber vier Jahrzehnte hinweg zu einem der beliebtesten und meistverkauften Schriftsteller seiner Zeit. "e;Groe Worte"e; vereint nun erstmals uber dreiig seiner Kurzgeschichten und Erzahlungen in einer Sammlung, die einmal quer durch seine grandiose Karriere fuhrt: Von Geschichten, die bereits zu Terry Pratchetts Schulzeit entstanden, uber solche, die er als junger Reporter schrieb, bis hin zu denen aus den Tagen seines groten Erfolges begeistern sie alle als unverwechselbare "e;Pratchetts"e;. Tauchen Sie ein in alte und neue Welten, treffen Sie neue Charaktere und altbekannte Gesichter! "e;Groe Worte"e; ist ein Schatz fur jeden Pratchett-Fan!
From the legendary Terry Pratchett, the author of Discworld, the third instalment in the Johnny Maxwell Trilogy --------------------- THIS TIME . . . IT'S WAR. Johnny Maxwell is just an ordinary boy, walking through an ordinary alley . . . until he stumbles across a shopping trolley that can travel back in time. A trip on this time travelling shopping trolley takes Johnny and his friends back to 1941, in the middle of the Second World War. More specifically, on the day the German bombs will fall on their town. What if Johnny and his friends could stop it? But tampering with history could have disastrous consequences... `Enormously entertaining and contains more wry observations than you could shake a Heinkel at' - Daily Telegraph
The calendar dates are extensive, and exhaustively researched, and include all major real-time calendrical data for Great Britain, Eire, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and the USA, as well as notable Discworld dates. This year's calendar draws upon the whimsical, remarkable art of long-time Discworld collaborator, Paul Kidby - the man whose depictions Terry Pratchett himself described as being 'the closest anyone's got to how I see the characters'.
The 2019 Discworld Quiz Diary contains everything you needed to know - and a few things you didn't - about modern literature's favourite flat earth. One part diary, one part quiz on the arcane practices of the funniest creation in modern fantasy, 100% Discworld goodness. With their trademark mix of cultural ephemera, background detail and hilarious one-liners, the Discworld diaries are back. This year: trivia. Do you know where the Discworld gods live? Do you know the name of the last continent? Do you know the name of the Discworld's worst engineer? Do you know what's in CMOT Dibbler's sausages? Put your knowledge to the test, and all will be revealed. Well, except the last one; nobody knows that, not even Dibbler. These and other gems of knowledge await you within. Make every day a Discworld day, with the 2019 Discworld Quiz Diary.
From the legendary Terry Pratchett, the author of Discworld, the second instalment in the Johnny Maxwell Trilogy --------------------- Sell the cemetery? Over their dead bodies . . . Not many people can see the dead (not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead have learnt a thing or two from Johnny. They're not going to take it lying down . . . especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were . . . well . . . alive. Particularly if they break a few rules . . .
Even wizards produce leftovers. But a wizard's rubbish is laced with magic, and for the rats that forage this rubbish, the magic has changed them - they can speak and read, and have rather grand ambitions for a comfortable retirement. Which is perfect for a con-cat like Maurice. He has his own magical talents, and wants to get rich quick. Together with the rats, and young (rather simple) Keith, the `piper', they work the towns to create their very own plague of rats - then lure them away for cash. But in the run-down town Bad Blintz, this little con goes wrong, and suddenly these educated rodents aren't playing to the piper's tune . . .
Seit Generationen leben die kleinen Nomen friedlich im Kaufhaus "e;Arnold Bros"e;. Die Jahreszeiten Winterschlussverkauf, Fruhjahrsmode, Sommerschlussverkauf und Weihnachten kommen und gehen - bis plotzlich andere Nomen auftauchen und von einem geheimnisvollen "e;Drauen"e; erzahlen. Und als die Parole "e;Raumungsverkauf"e; ausgerufen wird, muss schleunigst ein Plan her, um in dieses "e;Drauen"e; zu gelangen. Ein Lastwagen scheint die Rettung zu sein - und mit vereinten Kraften schaffen es doch auch Winzlinge, ein solches Gefahrt zu steuern, oder?! Aber auch ihr neues Zuhause "e;Steinbruch"e; wird bald von den Menschen bedroht. Da hilft nur noch die Ruckkehr in ihre wahre Heimat. Doch dafur mussen die Nomen erst das Raumschiff "e;Schwan"e; finden, das sie zuruck ins All bringen kann, von wo sie einst herkamen.
The first of the Johnny Maxwell trilogy, aimed at younger readers but accessible to all, deals with perceptions of reality, humanity, gender, race and conflict in Pratchett's famously light and witty style. Set against the first Gulf War and the break-up of his parents, young Johnny's world is shaken when the alien invaders from his computer game ask him to save them from the humans. Pratchett's deeply clever humour makes difficult subjects understandable, action sequences compelling and characters charmingly human, whatever their species. One of my all time favourite books. Comparison: John Connolly (Gates of Hell), James Patterson (Maximum Ride); Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl). Only You Can Save Mankind - The Musical. Only You Can Save Mankind the musical premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2004, receiving stunning reviews, amongst them Charles Spencer of the Daily Telegraph who said "the songs are excellent - witty - melodic and with a couple of soaring power ballads that are deeply affecting. This is clearly a show with a future." Only You Can Save Mankind - The Album. This release of the overture and five songs is the prelude to that future for a show now gathering the investment for a national tour. The recorded songs have a selecton of voices from the West End, Daniel Boys and Sharon D Clarke amongst them. Available now to download on i-tunes or to pre-order a CD, go to www.ifnotyouthenwho.com.
Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun
A beautiful new hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel. Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. And on Discworld that is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater - how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And that will only be the start of everyone's problems.
A beautiful new hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel. Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her hair and wearing trousers was easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape took more time . . . And now she's enlisted in the army, and searching for her lost brother. But there's a war on. There's always a war on. And Polly and her fellow recruits are suddenly in the thick of it, without any training, and the enemy is hunting them.
A beautiful new hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel. Moist von Lipwig is a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet. It was a tough decision. But he's got to see that the mail gets though, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer. Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.
A beautiful new hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck... Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion. There's a problem:if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future...
Random House presents the audio CD edition of Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt. Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store, or was even arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again.
Terry Pratchett's hilarious take on the Faust legend stars many of the Discworld's most popular characters. Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. The trouble is, he's not very good at it. All he wants is the usual three wishes: to be immortal, rule the world and have the most beautiful woman fall madly in love with him. The usual stuff. But what he gets is Rincewind, the Disc's most incompetent wizard, and Rincewind's Luggage (the world's most dangerous travel accessory) into the bargain. The outcome is an outrageous adventure that will leave Eric wishing once more - this time, quite fervently - that he'd never been born.
Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store, or was even arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again.
Random House presents the audiobook edition of Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt. Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different?Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey.How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store, or was even arrested for burglary!?Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again.
Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. `One of the most consistently funny writers around' Guardian
Tiffany Aching is going `into service': to be a lady, no less, a maid in a big house. At least, this is what she tells her parents. Really, Tiffany is going away to learn magic. But making friends with fellow witches is always difficult when an invisible-being-that-cannot-be-killed takes over your body - stealing money, and threatening violence. Tiffany must use all her witchy cunning to reclaim what's hers. Luckily, she has a bit of help. What's tiny, Scottish and blue all over? A Nac Mac Feegle of course - the rudest type of fairy, and handy to have in a tight spot . . . `Oodles of dry wit, imagination and shrewdly observed characters' Independent on Sunday
WE SEE YOU. NOW WE ARE YOU. No real witch would casually step out of their body, leaving it empty. Tiffany Aching does. And there's something just waiting for a handy body to take over. Something ancient and horrible, which can't die. To deal with it, Tiffany has to go to the very heart of what makes her a witch . . . `Fantastically inventive' Sunday Times
A man with no eyes. No eyes at all. Two tunnels in his head...It's not easy being a witch, and it's certainly not all whizzing about on broomsticks, but Tiffany Aching - teen witch - is doing her best. Until something evil wakes up, something that stirs up all the old stories about nasty old witches, so that just wearing a pointy hat suddenly seems a very bad idea. Worse still, this evil ghost from the past is hunting down one witch in particular. He's hunting for Tiffany. And he's found her...A fabulous Discworld title filled with witches and magic and told in the inimitable Terry Pratchett style, I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth Discworld title to feature Tiffany and her tiny, fightin', boozin' pictsie friends, the Nac Mac Feegle (aka The Wee Free Men).
SAYING IT WITH FROZEN ROSES AND ICEBERGS Young witch Tiffany Aching leaps into a dance - and suddenly the spirit of winter is in love with her. Now she's dancing to his tune, and she can't change the steps. Unless she can work out how to deal with the Wintersmith, there will never be another springtime . . . `Oodles of dry wit, imagination and shrewdly observed characters' Independent on Sunday
A SHIVERING OF WORLDS Deep in the chalk, something is stirring. Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots - an old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, a blurring of edges. Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land, her land. There will be a reckoning . . . `Extraordinary' Daily Telegraph
Tiffany Aching has finally got her wish. She is a witch (and a respected one, at that). Overworked and underpaid, that's for certain, but a witch nonetheless. Help is at hand though. In the form of young Geoffrey and his goat. Geoffrey wants to be a witch too, and thinks he can save the world by building sheds. Well, everyone has to start somewhere. But as new friends are made, and old ones return, enemies are stirring. With her beloved chalk in jeopardy, Tiffany will face the toughest challenge of her life. There will be a reckoning . . . `Brilliant . . . This is a book worth reading twice in quick succession' Daily Mail
Tiffany Aching is a witch alone. Well, that's how she feels. Everyone seems so, apart. People respect her, but also fear her. There are loads of secrets she can't share. And when the Baron dies, and Tiffany is framed for his murder, it's clearer than ever that she is, well . . . not liked Now Tiffany must journey to Ankh-Morpork, to inform the Baron's heir, Roland, of his father's death. But on the way she meets something that likes witches very much . . . a bit too much - an evil ball of spite and malice that has only now woken up. And is out to get witches everywhere . . . `High peaks of imagination' Sunday Times
Witches are odd. That much is clear to Tiffany. But she likes them . . . in an odd sort of way. Just as she likes Roland . . . in a friend sort of way (which most certainly isn't odd). But Tiffany hasn't really got time to think about Roland, because she has accidentally danced with Winter himself - the Wintersmith. And now the Wintersmith has a bit of a crush on Tiffany. According to her friend Daft Wullie, if Tiffany kisses the Wintersmith (an awful thought), her nose turns blue and fall off. According to the witches, if she doesn't shake off her admirer, there will never be another springtime . . . `Characteristically entertaining' Sunday Times
2070-71. Nearly six decades after Step Day and in the Long Earth, the new Next post-human society continues to evolve. For Joshua Valiente, now in his late sixties, it is time to take one last solo journey into the High Meggers: an adventure that turns into a disaster. Alone and facing death, his only hope of salvation lies with a group of trolls. But as Joshua confronts his mortality, the Long Earth receives a signal from the stars. A signal that is picked up by radio astronomers but also in more abstract ways - by the trolls and by the Great Traversers. Its message is simple but ts implications are enormous: JOIN US. The super-smart Next realise that the Message contains instructions on how to develop an immense artificial intelligence but to build it they have to seek help from throughout the industrious worlds of mankind. Bit by bit, byte by byte, they assemble a computer the size of a continent - a device that will alter the Long Earth's place within the cosmos and reveal the ultimate, life-affirming goal of those who sent the Message. Its impact will be felt by and resonate with all - mankind and other species, young and old, communities and individuals - who inhabit the Long Earths... The Long Cosmos serves as a fabulous, powerful and affecting drawing down of the curtain on this remarkable science fiction sequence.
THE NUMBER ONE BESTSELLER `Everybody wanted the railway close, oh yes please, but not so close that they could hear it or smell it' It's only in dictatorships that the trains run on time. Everywhere else, signal failures, leaves on the line, the wrong type of snow and the wrong type of sunlight make departure and arrival times just a nice, idealistic theory. So when it becomes a matter of life and death to get a train somewhere on time, the odds don't look good - especially if that somewhere is a completely new destination. The only thing that upsets people more than railway delays, after all, is building more railway. Past their back gardens. And some of those people will go to extremes to stop locomotion in its tracks... `British fiction's most brilliant satire on contemporary life' Telegraph `The most serious of comedies, the most relevant and real of fantasies...at once hilariously cynical and idealistically practical' Independent
2070-71. Nearly six decades after Step Day and in the Long Earth, the new Next post-human society continues to evolve. For Joshua Valiente, now in his late sixties, it is time to take one last solo journey into the High Meggers: an adventure that turns into a disaster. Alone and facing death, his only hope of salvation lies with a group of trolls. But as Joshua confronts his mortality, the Long Earth receives a signal from the stars. A signal that is picked up by radio astronomers but also in more abstract ways - by the trolls and by the Great Traversers. Its message is simple but ts implications are enormous: JOIN US. The super-smart Next realise that the Message contains instructions on how to develop an immense artificial intelligence but to build it they have to seek help from throughout the industrious worlds of mankind. Bit by bit, byte by byte, they assemble a computer the size of a continent - a device that will alter the Long Earth's place within the cosmos and reveal the ultimate, life-affirming goal of those who sent the Message. Its impact will be felt by and resonate with all - mankind and other species, young and old, communities and individuals - who inhabit the Long Earths...
EVERY LAND NEEDS ITS OWN WITCH. There's a monster in the river, a headless horsemen in the drive. And now Granny Aching has gone, there's only young Tiffany Aching left to guard the boundaries. It's her land. Her duty. But it's amazing how useful a horde of unruly pictsies can be . . .
Tiffany wants to be a witch when she grows up. A proper one, with a pointy hat. And flying, she's always dreamed of flying (though it's cold up there, you have to wear really thick pants, two layers). But she's worried Tiffany isn't a very `witchy' name. And a witch has always protected Tiffany's land, to stop the nightmares getting through. Now the nightmares have taken her brother, and it's up to her to get him back. With a horde of unruly fairies at her disposal, Tiffany is not alone. And she is the twentieth granddaughter of her Granny Aching: shepherdess extraordinaire, and protector of the land. Tiffany Aching. Now there's a rather good name for a witch. `Quite, quite brilliant' Starburst THE FIRST BOOK IN THE TIFFANY ACHING SERIES
Nach "e;Dralle Drachen"e; die neue Erahlungssammlung aus der Jugendzeit des Gromeisters. In vierzehn neuen Storys erleben wir, wie ein gewisser Terry Pratchett, junger Reporter bei einem Lokalblatt, die ersten seiner irrwitzigen Weltentwurfe zu Papier brachte. Ob haarstraubende Abenteuer mit einer schlecht gelaunten Hexe auf einem Staubsauger, einem zeitreisenden Fernseher oder die Begegnung mit einer unbeugsamen Ameise namens 4179003 - Pratchetts ganz besonderer Humor wird schon in diesen fruhen Erzahlungen deutlich und begeistert mit den witzigen Farbillustrationen des britischen Kunstlers Mark Beech junge und junggebliebene Fans des Scheibenwelt-Schopfers.
In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet... That's the old story everyone knows and loves. But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an amazing adventure. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it... Co-written by Terry Pratchett, aged seventeen, and master storyteller, Terry Pratchett, aged forty-three.
In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet... That's the old story everyone knows and loves. But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an amazing adventure. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it... Co-written by Terry Pratchett, aged seventeen, and master storyteller, Terry Pratchett, aged forty-three.
A beautiful hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel 'Anything you do in the past changes the future. The tiniest little actions have huge consequences. You might tread on an ant now and it might entirely prevent someone from being born in the future.' There's nothing like the issue of evolution to get under the skin of academics. Even if their field of expertise is magic rather than biology. With the best and most interfering minds of Unseen University somehow left in charge at a critical evolutionary turning point, the Discworld's last continent needs a saviour... Who is this hero striding across the red desert? Sheep shearer, beer drinker, bush ranger, and someone who'll even eat a Meat Pie Floater when he's sober. In fact, it's Rincewind, a wizard so inept he can't even spell wizard. He's the only hero left. Still...no worries, eh?
A beautiful hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel In this and indeed other lives there are givers and takers. It's safe to say that vampires are very much in the latter camp. They don't have much time for the givers of this world - except perhaps mealtimes - and even less for priests. Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be a priest. Lancre's newest residents are a thoroughly modern, sophisticated vampire family. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future. But they haven't met the neighbours yet: between them and Lancre stand Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. And Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies. And young Agnes, although she is really in two minds about everything. Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.
A beautiful hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a certain inclination in that direction. It's not something you can just pick up on the job. A few days ago Sam Vimes was a copper - an important copper, true - chief of police - but still, at his core, a policeman. But today he is an ambassador - to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Today, Sam Vimes is also a man on the run. He has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. There are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up.
A beautiful hardback edition of the classic Discworld novel William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. New printing technology means that words just won't obediently stay nailed down like usual. There's a very real threat of news getting out there. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes. William just wants to get at THE TRUTH. Unfortunately, everyone else wants to get at William. And it's only the third edition...
The Terry Pratchett Diary? Yes please! With thoughts of warmth, admiration, love and laughter from his family, friends and colleagues scattered among the months, you glimpse a new side, a different perspective, one that adds even more colour and vibrancy to what you already know about this very special man. Illustrations and quotes also creep onto, lurk menacingly over, or caper about the pages. There are no days to be found in this clever little diary, just dates, so it isn’t only for use in 2017, it could be used in any year (or every year if you write carefully in pencil and have a really good eraser). We hear how Terry Pratchett encouraged his daughter’s connection with the world around her, Colin Smythe writes of his genius, Paul Kidby about his creative energy, and Rob Wilkins asks that his words be treasured. I smiled as I read, felt inspired, felt a connection. Then, at the very last page, sits the final illustration, which brought a tear to my eye. Terry Pratchett’s words still swirl, swoosh and surge around us, Terry Pratchett’s words live on… ~ Liz Robinson
Poor Mr Swimble is having a bad day.Rabbits are bouncing out of his hat, pigeons are flying out of his jacket and every time he points his finger, something magically appears - cheese sandwiches, socks . . . even a small yellow elephant on wheels!It?s becoming a real nuisance - and he?s allergic to rabbits.His friends at the Magic Rectangle can?t help, but the mysterious vacuum cleaner he saw that morning may have something to do with it . . .Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of food fights, pirates, wizards and crooks!'Arresting stuff! So funny it?s criminal!? - PC Gorsebush Jones
Poor Mr Swimble is having a bad day. Rabbits are bouncing out of his hat, pigeons are flying out of his jacket and every time he points his finger, something magically appears - cheese sandwiches, socks . . . even a small yellow elephant on wheels! It's becoming a real nuisance - and he's allergic to rabbits. His friends at the Magic Rectangle can't help, but the mysterious vacuum cleaner he saw that morning may have something to do with it . . . Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of food fights, pirates, wizards and crooks! `Arresting stuff! So funny it's criminal!' - PC Gorsebush Jones
Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. `One of the most consistently funny writers around' Guardian
Poor Mr Swimble is having a bad day.Rabbits are bouncing out of his hat, pigeons are flying out of his jacket and every time he points his finger, something magically appears - cheese sandwiches, socks . . . even a small yellow elephant on wheels!It's becoming a real nuisance - and he's allergic to rabbits.His friends at the Magic Rectangle can't help, but the mysterious vacuum cleaner he saw that morning may have something to do with it . . .Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of food fights, pirates, wizards and crooks!'Arresting stuff! So funny it's criminal!' - PC Gorsebush Jones
The Discworld calendar dates are extensive, exhaustively researched, and include all major real-time calendrical data for Great Britain, Eire, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and the USA - as well, of course, as notable Discworld dates. This year's calendar features a nostalgic look at the late Josh Kirby's iconic covers, featuring a selection from the earliest Discworld novels.
'Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.' In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: 'Hey, you!' This is the Discworld, after all, and religion is a controversial business. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods, of every shape and size, and all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, it's certainly not helpful to be reduced to appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book. In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast: for the Great God Om, Brutha the novice is the Chosen One - or at least the only One available. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please... Now adapted into graphic novel form with new artwork by Ray Friesen.
ENHANCED EDITION'Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.'In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: 'Hey, you!' This is the Discworld, after all, and religion is a controversial business. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods, of every shape and size, and all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, it's certainly not helpful to be reduced to appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book.In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast: for the Great God Om, Brutha the novice is the Chosen One or at least the only One available. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please...Now adapted into graphic novel form with new artwork by Ray Friesen, this special ebook edition is enhanced with beautiful animation.
2070-71. Nearly six decades after Step Day and in the Long Earth, the new Next post-human society continues to evolve. For Joshua Valiente, now in his late sixties, it is time to take one last solo journey into the High Meggers: an adventure that turns into a disaster. Alone and facing death, his only hope of salvation lies with a group of trolls. But as Joshua confronts his mortality, the Long Earth receives a signal from the stars. A signal that is picked up by radio astronomers but also in more abstract ways - by the trolls and by the Great Traversers. Its message is simple but ts implications are enormous: JOIN US. The super-smart Next realise that the Message contains instructions on how to develop an immense artificial intelligence but to build it they have to seek help from throughout the industrious worlds of mankind. Bit by bit, byte by byte, they assemble a computer the size of a continent - a device that will alter the Long Earth's place within the cosmos and reveal the ultimate, life-affirming goal of those who sent the Message. Its impact will be felt by and resonate with all - mankind and other species, young and old, communities and individuals - who inhabit the Long Earths...
THE FINAL DISCWORLD NOVEL A shivering of worlds . . . Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land. There will be a reckoning . . .
The completely and totally wonderful wiz(z)ard of words Terry Pratchett, has departed for what I'm sure will be a very interesting conversation, with cat and curry loving Death. Terry Pratchett has been one of my favourite authors since I was a teenager, and has left behind the gobsmackingly fabulous Discworld series. Having devoured and adored every single one, I felt rather hesitant about reading this, his 41st and last novel. I had contemplated leaving it for a while, setting it by, so it could wait, knowingly, raising its eyebrows at me. In the end, of course I couldn't resist and I just sank into the story and as I read, relived all the feelings this series has evoked in me. Tiffany Aching has to be on her mettle, a twisted powerful enemy is set for battle, Tiffany needs all the help she can get, including the Wee Free Men and of course she definitely needs Granny Weatherwax. Terry Pratchett has made me laugh (a lot), cry, and all the emotions inbetween, most importantly he has has made me consider, discover and think about our own world. I loved every second, every word of ‘The Shepherd’s Crown’, it has become one of my most loved and hugged books, and sits in pride of place on my bookshelf.
`I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.' The most quotable writer of our time, Terry Pratchett's unique brand of wit made him both a bestseller and an enduring, endearing source of modern wisdom. This collection is filled with his funniest and most memorable words about life, the universe and snoring.
When you're four inches high in a world full of giant people, things never go very well for long. After running into trouble at the quarry, the nomes want to go home. The problem is, `home' is somewhere up in the stars, in some sort of Ship. Masklin must find a way to get to the `launch' of a `communications satellite' (whatever that is). And so begins an incredible journey, filled with peril, planes, honking geese . . . and a walking sandwich. The fantastically funny third book of the nomes, from the author of the bestselling Discworld series.
2045-2059. After the cataclysmic upheavals of Step Day and the Yellowstone eruption humanity is spreading further into the Long Earth, and society, on a battered Datum Earth and beyond, continues to evolve. Now an elderly and cantankerous AI, Lobsang lives in disguise with Agnes in an exotic, far-distant world. He's convinced they're leading a normal life in New Springfield - they even adopt a child - but it seems they have been guided there for a reason. As rumours of strange sightings and hauntings proliferate, it becomes clear that something is very awry with this particular world. Millions of steps away, Joshua is on a personal journey of discovery: learning about the father he never knew and a secret family history. But then he receives a summons from New Springfield. Lobsang now understands the enormity of what's taking place beneath the surface of his earth - a threat to all the worlds of the Long Earth. To counter this threat will require the combined efforts of humankind, machine and the super-intelligent Next. And some must make the ultimate sacrifice . . .
2045-2059. After the cataclysmic upheavals of Step Day and the Yellowstone eruption humanity is spreading further into the Long Earth, and society, on a battered Datum Earth and beyond, continues to evolve. Now an elderly and cantankerous AI, Lobsang lives in disguise with Agnes in an exotic, far-distant world. He's convinced they're leading a normal life in New Springfield - they even adopt a child - but it seems they have been guided there for a reason. As rumours of strange sightings and hauntings proliferate, it becomes clear that something is very awry with this particular world. Millions of steps away, Joshua is on a personal journey of discovery: learning about the father he never knew and a secret family history. But then he receives a summons from New Springfield. Lobsang now understands the enormity of what's taking place beneath the surface of his earth - a threat to all the worlds of the Long Earth. To counter this threat will require the combined efforts of humankind, machine and the super-intelligent Next. And some must make the ultimate sacrifice . . .
This is the story of Jekub, the Dragon in the Hill with great big teeth and a great loud voice. (Well, that's according to the nomes, but they are only four inches tall.) When humans threaten their new home in the quarry, the natural thing would be to run and hide. But the nomes have got the wild idea that they should fight back. After all, everyone knows that nomes are faster and smarter than humans, and now they have a secret weapon . . . The fantastically funny second book of the nomes, from the author of the bestselling Discworld series.
The fourth book in the Science of Discworld series, and this time around dealing with THE REALLY BIG QUESTIONS, Terry Pratchett's brilliant new Discworld storyJudgement Dayis annotated with very big footnotes (the interleaving chapters) by mathematician Ian Stewart and biologist Jack Cohen, to bring you a mind-mangling combination of fiction, cutting-edge science and philosophy.Marjorie Dawe is a librarian, and takes her job -- and indeed the truth of words -- very seriously. She doesn't know it, but her world and ours -- Roundworld -- is in big trouble. On Discworld, a colossal row is brewing.The Wizards of the Unseen University feel responsible for Roundworld (as one would for a pet gerbil). After all, they brought it into existence by bungling an experiment in Quantum ThaumoDynamics. But legal action is being brought against them by Omnians, who say that the Wizards' god-like actions make a mockery of their noble religion. As the finest legal brains in Discworld (a zombie and a priest) gird their loins to do battle -- and when the Great Big Thing in the High Energy Magic Laboratory is switched on -- Marjorie Dawe finds herself thrown across the multiverse and right in the middle of the whole explosive affair.As God, the Universe and, frankly, Everything Else is investigated by the trio, you can expect world-bearing elephants, quantum gravity in the Escher-verse, evolutionary design, eternal inflation, dark matter, disbelief systems -- and an in-depth study of how to invent a better mousetrap.
Unseen University are proud to present the most comprehensive map and guide to the Disc yet produced. In this noble endeavour, drawing upon the hard won knowledge of many great and, inevitably, late explorers, one may locate on a detailed plan of our world such fabled realms as the Condiment Isles, trace the course of the River Kneck as it deposits silt and border disputes in equal abundance on the lands either side, and contemplate the vast deserts of Klatch and Howondaland - a salutary lesson in the perils of allowing ones goats to graze unchecked.
A charming tale for people of all ages (but especially for young Sam Vimes) from the pen of Miss Felicity Beedle, Discworld's premier children's author.From Snuff: 'Vimes' prompt arrival got a nod of approval from Sybil, who gingerly handed him a new book to read to Young Sam. Vimes looked at the cover. The title was The World of Poo. When his wife was out of eyeshot he carefully leafed through it. Well, okay, you had to accept that the world had moved on and these days fairy stories were probably not going to be about twinkly little things with wings. As he turned page after page, it dawned on him that whoever had written this book, they certainly knew what would make kids like Young Sam laugh until they were nearly sick. The bit about sailing down the river almost made him smile. But interspersed with the scatology was actually quite interesting stuff about septic tanks and dunnakin divers and gongfermors and how dog muck helped make the very best leather, and other things that you never thought you would need to know, but once heard somehow lodged in your mind.'
This collection includes all five Tiffany Aching novels in Terry Pratchetts beloved and bestselling Discworld series, including the final Discworld novel, The Shepherds Crown.The Wee Free Men: Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegleaka the Wee Free Men.A Hat Full of Sky: Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic. She expects spells and magicnot chores and ill-tempered nanny goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this! Indeed, there is. . . .Wintersmith: When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take the young witchs skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring.I Shall Wear Midnight: As the witch of the Chalk, Tiffany Aching performs the distinctly unglamorous work of caring for the needy. But someoneor somethingis inciting fear, generating dark thoughts and angry murmurs against witches. Tiffany must find the source of unrest and defeat the evil at its root, for if she falls, the whole Chalk falls with her. . . .The Shepherds Crown: Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. There will be a reckoning. . . .
A SHIVERING OF WORLDS Deep in the Chalk, something is stirring. The owls and the foxes can sense it, and Tiffany Aching feels it in her boots. An old enemy is gathering strength. This is a time of endings and beginnings, old friends and new, a blurring of edges and a shifting of power. Now Tiffany stands between the light and the dark, the good and the bad. As the fairy horde prepares for invasion, Tiffany must summon all the witches to stand with her. To protect the land. Her land. There will be a reckoning . . . THE FINAL DISCWORLD NOVEL. Narrated by Tony Robinson.
Why we all deserve a life worth living and a death worth dying for `Most men don't fear death. They fear those things - the knife, the shipwreck, the illness, the bomb - which precede, by microseconds if you're lucky, and many years if you're not, the moment of death.' When Terry Pratchett was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in his fifties he was angry - not with death but with the disease that would take him there, and with the suffering disease can cause when we are not allowed to put an end to it. In this essay, broadcast to millions as the BBC Richard Dimblebly Lecture 2010 and previously only available as part of A Slip of the Keyboard, he argues for our right to choose - our right to a good life, and a good death too.
2045-2059. After the cataclysmic upheavals of Step Day and the Yellowstone eruption humanity is spreading further into the Long Earth, and society, on a battered Datum Earth and beyond, continues to evolve. Now an elderly and cantankerous AI, Lobsang lives in disguise with Agnes in an exotic, far-distant world. He's convinced they're leading a normal life in New Springfield - they even adopt a child - but it seems they have been guided there for a reason. As rumours of strange sightings and hauntings proliferate, it becomes clear that something is very awry with this particular world. Millions of steps away, Joshua is on a personal journey of discovery: learning about the father he never knew and a secret family history. But then he receives a summons from New Springfield. Lobsang now understands the enormity of what's taking place beneath the surface of his earth - a threat to all the worlds of the Long Earth. To counter this threat will require the combined efforts of humankind, machine and the super-intelligent Next. And some must make the ultimate sacrifice . . .
The wizards discover to their cost that it's no easy task to change history.Roundworld is in trouble again, and this time it looks fatal. Having created it in the first place, the wizards of Unseen University feel vaguely responsible for its safety. They know the creatures that lived there escaped the impending Big Freeze by inventing the space elevator they even intervened to rid the planet of a plague of elves, who attempted to divert humanity onto a different time track. But now it's all gone wrong Victorian England has stagnated and the pace of progress would embarrass a limping snail. Unless something drastic is done, there won't be time for anyone to invent space flight, and the human race will be turned into ice-pops.Why, though, did history come adrift? Was it Sir Arthur Nightingale's dismal book about natural selection? Or was it the devastating response by an obscure country vicar called Charles Darwin whose bestsellingTheology of Speciesmade it impossible to refute the divine design of living creatures?Can the God of Evolution come to humanity's aid and ensure Darwin writes a very different book? And who stopped him writing it in the first place?
Bevor der Tod in seinen wohlverdienten Urlaub aufbricht, stellt er den jungen Lehrling Mort als Vertreter ein. Mort hat alle Hande voll zu tun: Uberall auf der Scheibenwelt ist seine Sense gefragt, und es gehort zum guten Ton, dass Konige, Zauberer und andere wichtige Personlichkeiten vor deren Ableben personlich besucht werden. Doch dann trifft Mort auf eine junge Prinzessin, die Opfer eines Attentats werden soll. Mort rettet sie und bringt damit nicht nur Tods Plan, sondern das gesamte Gefuge der Scheibenwelt durcheinander ...
Seit mehr als dreiig Jahren begeistern Terry Pratchetts Romane von der bizarren Scheibenwelt Millionen Leser weltweit. Die neun ersten Scheibenweltbande zahlen unbestritten zu den besten. Sie liegen nun vollstandig neu bearbeitet und aktualisiert vom Originalubersetzer Andreas Brandhorst vor - mit Sammelcover und in einzigartiger Ausstattung, die das Regal jedes Fans zum Pratchett-Schrein werden lasst.
Die Scheibenwelt gerat in grote Gefahr, als der junge Munze, achter Sohn eines Magiers, den Vorsitz an der Unsichtbaren Universitat an sich reit. Der Zauberhut, magisches Relikt und Zierde des Erzkanzlers, muss vor dem neuen Herrscher in Sicherheit gebracht werden. Doch ausgerechnet der tolpatschige Rincewind wird fur dieses Vorhaben auserwahlt. Und gemeinsam mit der schonen Barbarenfriseuse Conina schlittert er in ein haarstraubendes Abenteuer ...
Ein Fichtenstamm bewahrt den ungeschickten Rincewind vor dem Absturz vom Rand der Scheibenwelt. Der Zauberer findet sich in einem von intelligenten Baumen bevolkerten Wald wieder und trifft erneut auf den Touristen Zweiblum. Wahrenddessen droht der Planet von einem roten Stern verschlungen zu werden. Nur ein Zauberspruch kann die Scheibenwelt noch retten, doch der befindet sich ausgerechnet in Rincewinds Kopf ...
Der junge Teppic wird neuer Pharao eines kleinen, armen Konigreichs. Zu Ehren seines Vaters will er die grote Pyramide errichten, die die Welt je gesehen hat. Doch Teppic hat nicht damit gerechnet, dass er dadurch seine samtlichen Vorfahren wiedererweckt und die Gotter der Scheibenwelt auf den Plan ruft. Nun kann ihm nur noch ein Kamel helfen - und zwar eines, das mathematisch begabt ist und auf den Namen "e;Du Mistvieh"e; hort ...
Nachdem er den Konig erdolcht hat, besteigt der finstere Herzog Felmet gemeinsam mit seiner unausstehlichen Gattin den Thron. Der wahre Thronerbe, ein zweijahriger Junge, wurde indes von fahrenden Schauspielern adoptiert. Nur ein unschlagbares Team kann jetzt noch helfen: der Geist des Konigs, Gevatter Tod und Oma Wetterwachs mit ihren hexenden Freundinnen. Gemeinsam ersinnen sie einen unglaublichen Plan, der selbst Shakespeares Macbeth das Furchten und Lachen zugleich lehren wurde ...
Eine geheime Bruderschaft ruft mittels eines gestohlenen magischen Buches einen Drachen herbei. Das Fabelwesen soll helfen, einen neuen Konig einzusetzen, der den Verschworern gefugig ist. Doch der Drache setzt sich selbst als Herrscher ein - schlaft er doch so gern auf den gemutlichen Goldreserven der Stadt. Nur eine Handvoll Wachen begehrt gegen den geschuppten Konig auf: Hauptmann Mumm, der beinahe zwei Meter groe Zwerg Karotte und eine adlige Sumpfdrachenzuchterin machen sich auf, den Tyrannen zu vertreiben.
Eric ist der jungste Damonologe der Scheibenwelt. Er beschwort nicht nur Tod und Teufel, sondern auch Rincewind, den unfahigsten Zauberer der Galaxis. Und dafur stehen ihm drei handelsubliche Wunsche frei: ewiges Leben, Macht und die schonste Frau der Weltgeschichte. Eric, Rincewind und die bissigste Truhe der Galaxis geraten in ein turbulentes Abenteuer, bis alles schiefgeht und Eric nur noch eines will - zuruck "e;zu Mama"e; ...
Als der Magier Drum Billet seinen Zauberstab gema guter Sitte an den achten Sohn eines achten Sohnes ubergeben will, macht er einen folgenschweren Fehler: Denn das Neugeborene ist ein Madchen, und diesen ist der Zutritt zur Unsichtbaren Universitat verwehrt. Nun kann nur noch Oma Wetterwachs den Zauberern in Sachen Gleichberechtigung auf die Sprunge helfen ...
Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur's knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It's a disaster! Luckily, there's a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who's willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers. But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store . . . Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of time travel and tortoises, monsters and mayhem! `So funny I dropped my spoon laughing!' - King Arthur
Terry Pratchett in his own words With a foreword by Neil Gaiman Terry Pratchett earned a place in the hearts of readers the world over with his bestselling Discworld series - but in recent years he became equally well-known as an outspoken campaigner for causes including Alzheimer's research and animal rights. A Slip of the Keyboard brings together the best of Pratchett's non fiction writing on his life, on his work, and on the weirdness of the world: from Granny Pratchett to Gandalf's love life; from banana daiquiris to books that inspired him; from getting started as a writer to the injustices that he fought to end. With his trademark humour, humanity and unforgettable way with words, this collection offers an insight behind the scenes of Discworld into a much loved and much missed figure - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and the right to a good death.
In diesen bislang unveroffentlichten Erzahlungen fuhrt Scheibenwelt-Schopfer Terry Pratchett in turbulente Welten: Ob sich Konig Arthur einer drallen Dracheninvasion erwehren muss, die Schildkrote Hercules zu einer Expedition in den unbekannten Garten aufbricht, sich zwei Konigreiche auf einer Staubflocke bekriegen oder die Teppichvolker aus dem gleichnamigen Kultroman zu neuen Abenteuern aufbrechen - mit dem unverwechselbaren Humor Terry Pratchetts und den irrwitzigen Farbillustrationen begeistert dieser Band junge und junggebliebene Leser.
2040-2045: In the years after the cataclysmic Yellowstone eruption there is massive economic dislocation as populations flee Datum Earth to myriad Long Earth worlds. Sally, Joshua, and Lobsang are all involved in this perilous work when, out of the blue, Sally is contacted by her long-vanished father and inventor of the original Stepper device, Willis Linsay. He tells her he is planning a fantastic voyage across the Long Mars and wants her to accompany him. But Sally soon learns that Willis has ulterior motives ... Meanwhile U. S. Navy Commander Maggie Kauffman has embarked on an incredible journey of her own, leading an expedition to the outer limits of the far Long Earth. For Joshua, the crisis he faces is much closer to home. He becomes embroiled in the plight of the Next: the super-bright post-humans who are beginning to emerge from their 'long childhood' in the community called Happy Landings, located deep in the Long Earth. Ignorance and fear are causing 'normal' human society to turn against the Next - and a dramatic showdown seems inevitable . . .
2040-2045: In the years after the cataclysmic Yellowstone eruption there is massive economic dislocation as populations flee Datum Earth to myriad Long Earth worlds. Sally, Joshua, and Lobsang are all involved in this perilous work when, out of the blue, Sally is contacted by her long-vanished father and inventor of the original Stepper device, Willis Linsay. He tells her he is planning a fantastic voyage across the Long Mars and wants her to accompany him. But Sally soon learns that Willis has ulterior motives...Meanwhile U. S. Navy Commander Maggie Kauffman has embarked on an incredible journey of her own, leading an expedition to the outer limits of the far Long Earth. For Joshua, the crisis he faces is much closer to home. He becomes embroiled in the plight of the Next: the super-bright post-humans who are beginning to emerge from their 'long childhood' in the community called Happy Landings, located deep in the Long Earth. Ignorance and fear are causing 'normal' human society to turn against the Next - and a dramatic showdown seems inevitable...
As a punishment, failed wizard Rincewind is given the task of guiding and safeguarding the Disc's first tourist, Twoflower (with his magical luggage on legs). As they travel the city and beyond, they meet the world's oldest hero, Cohen the Barbarian. With him, and with Bethan (a qualified sacrificial victim), they encounter druids, trolls, adventurers, a hairdresser and a power-crazed wizard. Oh, and Death. But not fatally. Did we mention that Rincewind also has to save the world from destruction by a huge red star that will collide with the Discworld at Hogswatch? The Rince Cycle is mostly based on The Light Fantastic, with bits of The Colour of Magic and Sourcery added for good measure. One of Terry Pratchett's most popular Discworld Novels adapted for the stage by long-time friend and collaborator Stephen Briggs. The Rince Cycle mashes the best moments of Rincewind, one of Pratchett's most popular and enduring characters, into a two hour show
A collection of short fiction from Terry Pratchett, spanning the whole of his writing career from schooldays to Discworld and the present day.In the four decades since his first book appeared in print, Terry Pratchett has become one of the world's best-selling and best-loved authors. Here for the first time are his short stories and other short-form fiction collected into one volume. A Blink of the Screen charts the course of Pratchett's long writing career: from his schooldays through to his first writing job on the Bucks Free Press, and the origins of his debut novel, The Carpet People; and on again to the dizzy mastery of the phenomenally successful Discworld series.Here are characters both familiar and yet to be discovered; abandoned worlds and others still expanding; adventure, chickens, death, disco and, actually, some quite disturbing ideas about Christmas, all of it shot through with Terry's inimitable brand of humour. With an introduction by Booker Prize-winning author A.S. Byatt, illustrations by the late Josh Kirby and drawings by the author himself, this is a book to treasure.
Imagine that all around you, hidden from sight, there are thousands of tiny people. They are four inches tall, brave, stubborn and resourceful. They are the nomes. The nomes in this story live under the floorboards of a large Department Store and have never been Outside. In fact, they don't even believe in Outside. But new nomes arrive, from - where else? - and they bring with them terrifying news: the Store is closing down and Everything Must Go . . . The fantastically funny first book of the nomes, from the author of the bestselling Discworld series.
Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork. And now the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed forever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! This is a playtext suitable for all ages, adapted from the novel.
Someone is killing Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. No one knows who, no one knows why and, worst of all, no one knows how - he just gets weaker and weaker. But it's not just Vetinari - across the city, people are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene. Commander Vimes, Head of the City Watch, is a man who hates 'clues'. He and his team must question everyone - the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. In a city teeming with vampires, werewolves,dwarfs with attitude and golems, Vimes must solve the crimes and save the Patrician. This is a playtext suitable for all ages, adapted from the novel.
Feet of Clay Someone is killing Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. No one knows who, no one knows why and, worst of all, no one knows how - he just gets weaker and weaker. But it's not just Vetinari - across the city, people are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene. Commander Vimes, Head of the City Watch, is a man who hates 'clues'. He and his team must question everyone - the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. In a city teeming with vampires, werewolves, dwarfs with attitude and golems, Vimes must solve the crimes and save the Patrician. The Rince Cycle As a punishment, failed wizard Rincewind is given the task of guiding and safeguarding the Disc's first tourist, Twoflower (with his magical luggage on legs). As they travel the city and beyond, they meet the world's oldest hero, Cohen the Barbarian. With him, and with Bethan (a qualified sacrificial victim), they encounter druids, trolls, adventurers, a hairdresser and a power-crazed wizard. Oh, and Death. But not fatally. Did we mention that Rincewind also has to save the world from destruction by a huge red star that will collide with the Discworld at Hogswatch? The Rince Cycle is mostly based on The Light Fantastic, with bits of The Colour of Magic and Sourcery added for good measure. Unseen Academicals 'Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Ankh-Morpork, where we lay our scene - ' Football divides the city. Each area has its own team - and rivalry means supporters never mix. Until a Dimwell fan falls for a Dolly Sisters girl. And now an ancient bequest means the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic. Luckily they're coached by the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed forever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.
Awonderful collection of short stories by master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, featuring dragons, dinosaurs, cavemen and car races! Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur's knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It's a disaster!Luckily, there's a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who's willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers. But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store...Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of time travel and tortoises, monsters and mayhem!Story List:CD 1: Dragons at Crumbling Castle, The Great Speck, Hunt the Snorry, Tales of the Carpet People (beginning)CD 2: Tales of the Carpet People (concluded), Hercules the Tortoise, Dok the Caveman, The Big RaceCD 3: Another Tale of the Carpet People, The Great Egg--dancing Championship, Edwo the Boring KnightCD 4: The 59A Bus Goes Back in Time, The Abominable Snowman, The Blackbury Monster, Father Christmas Goes to Work at the Zoo
Roundworld, aka Earth, is under siege. Are three wizards and an orangutan Librarian enough to thwart the Elvish threat?When the wizards of Unseen University first created Roundworld, they were so concerned with discovering the rules of this new universe that they overlooked its inhabitants entirely. Now, they have noticed humanity. And humanity has company. Arriving in Roundworld, the wizards find the situation is even worse than they'd expected. Under the elves' influence, humans are superstitious, fearful, and fruitlessly trying to work magic in a world ruled by logic. Ridcully, Rincewind, Ponder Stibbons, and the orangutan Librarian must travel through time to get humanity back on track and out of the dark ages.The Globe goes beyond science to explore the development of the human mind. Terry Pratchett and his acclaimed co-authors Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen combine the tale of the wizards rewriting human history with discussions of the origins and evolution of culture, language, art, and science, offering a fascinating and brilliantly original view of the world we live in.
Captain the Honorable Sir Herbert Stephen Ernest Boring-Tristam-Boring (known as Bill) is very rich but very bored. When famed explorer Alfred Tence* shows up at Bill's door, life gets considerably more exciting. Before long, they're speeding off in a taxi to the distant mountains of Chilistan in search of the hairiest, most mysterious monster ever knownthe Abominable Snowman! Featuring the signature wit and invention of one of the world's most beloved writers, this irreverent, illustrated story is from Dragons at Crumbling Castle and Other Tales, by Terry Pratchett. [*Yes,thatAlfred Tencethe man who rowed from Brighton to Bombay in a bathtub. It's true.]
Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw's invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc. *From the twine walk of Great Slack to the souks of Zemphis: edifying sights along the route *Ticketing, nostrums and transporting your swamp dragon: essential hints on the practicalities of travel * Elegant resorts and quaint inns: respectable and sanitary lodgings for all species and heights. * From worm-herding to Fustic Cake: diverting trivia on the crafts, foods and brassica traditions of the many industrious people for whom the railway is now a vital link to the Century of the Anchovy Fully illustrated and replete with useful titbits, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook offers a view of the Sto Plains like no other. Beautifully narrated by Penelope Keith with Michael Fenton Stevens.
Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw's invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc. From the twine walk of Great Slack to the souks of Zemphis: edifying sights along the route; Ticketing, nostrums and transporting your swamp dragon: essential hints on the practicalities of travel; Elegant resorts and quaint inns: respectable and sanitary lodgings for all species and heights; and From worm-herding to Fustic Cake: diverting trivia on the crafts, foods and brassica traditions of the many industrious people for whom the railway is now a vital link to the Century of the Anchovy. Fully illustrated and replete with useful titbits, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook offers a view of the Sto Plains like no other.
To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear. Moist von Lipwig is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital . . . but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse . . . Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails . . .
It's all change for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, conman, and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office. A steaming, clanging new invention, driven by Dick Simnel, the man with t'flat cap and t'sliding rule, is drawing astonished crowds - including a few particularly keen young men armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear - and suddenly it's a matter of national importance that the trains run on time. Moist does not enjoy hard work. His ...vital input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn't involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters. What he does enjoy is being alive, which may not be a perk of running the new railway. Because, of course, some people have Objections, and they'll go to extremes to stop locomotion in its tracks.
A collection of essays and other non fiction from Terry Pratchett, spanning the whole of his writing career from his early years to the present day. Terry Pratchett has earned a place in the hearts of readers the world over with his bestselling Discworld series -- but in recent years he has become equally well-known and respected as an outspoken campaigner for causes including Alzheimer's research and animal rights. A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him.With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself -- man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orangutans and Dignity in Dying.Snuff was the bestselling adult hardcover novel of 2011. A Blink of the Screen, Terry's short fiction collection, was also one of the bestselling hardcovers of 2012.
Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur's knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It's a disaster! Luckily, there's a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who's willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers. But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store . . . Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of time travel and tortoises, monsters and mayhem! `So funny I dropped my spoon laughing!' - King Arthur
On a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown), a gleeful, explosive, wickedly eccentric expedition sets out. There's an avaricious but inept wizard, a naive tourist whose luggage moves on hundreds of dear little legs, dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and of course THE EDGE of the planet...
It is known as the Discworld. It is a flat planet, supported on the backs of four elephants, who in turn stand on the back of the great turtle A'Tuin as it swims majestically through space. And it is quite possibly the funniest place in all of creation... As it moves towards a seemingly inevitable collision with a malevolent red star, the Discworld has only one possible saviour. Unfortunately, this happens to be the singularly inept and cowardly wizard called Rincewind, who was last seen falling off the edge of the world.
Captain the Honourable Sir Herbert Stephen Ernest Boring-Tristram-Boring (known to his friends as Bill) is very rich but very bored. When famous explorer Alfred Tence* shows up at his front door, life gets considerably more exciting. Before long, he s speeding off in a taxi to the mountains of Chilistan in search of the hairiest, most mysterious monster ever known an ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN!A fantastically funny short story from the collection Dragons at Crumbling Castle.[*Yes, that Alfred Tence the same man who punted from Brighton to Bombay in the bath. It s true.]
This collection includes all four Tiffany Aching novels in Terry Pratchetts beloved and bestselling Discworld series.The Wee Free Men: Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegleaka the Wee Free Mena clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men. Together they must face headless horsemen, ferocious grimhounds, terrifying dreams come true, and ultimately the sinister Queen of the Elves herself. . . .A Hat Full of Sky: Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic. She expects spells and magicnot chores and ill-tempered nanny goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this!What Tiffany doesnt know is that an insidious, disembodied creature is pursuing her. In the end, it will take all of Tiffanys inner strength to save herself ... if it can be done at all.Wintersmith: When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take the young witchs skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesnt make it to SpringSpring wont come.I Shall Wear Midnight: As the witch of the Chalk, Tiffany Aching performs the distinctly unglamorous work of caring for the needy. But someoneor somethingis inciting fear, generating dark thoughts and angry murmurs against witches. Tiffany must find the source of unrest and defeat the evil at its root. Aided by the tiny-but-tough Wee Free Men, Tiffany faces a dire challenge, for if she falls, the whole Chalk falls with her. . . .
The fairies are back - but this time they don't just want your teeth. It's Midsummer Night - no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there's more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down. And there's usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place - to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order. Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. And even in a world of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and the odd orang-utan, this is going to cause real trouble. With lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.
THE SHOW MUST GO ON, AS MURDER, MUSIC AND MAYHEM RUN RIOT IN THE NIGHT... The Opera House, Ankh-Morpork... A huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely familiar evil mastermind in a hideously deformed evening dress... At least, he hopes so. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld's most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn't hold with that sort of thing. So there's going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evening's entertainment with murders you can really hum...)
It seemed an easy job... After all, how difficult could it be to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince? But for the witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick, travelling to the distant city of Genua, things are never that simple... Servant girls have to marry the prince. That's what life is all about. You can't fight a Happy Ending. At least - up until now...
2040-2045: In the years after the cataclysmic Yellowstone eruption there is massive economic dislocation as populations flee Datum Earth to myriad Long Earth worlds. Sally, Joshua, and Lobsang are all involved in this perilous work when, out of the blue, Sally is contacted by her long-vanished father and inventor of the original Stepper device, Willis Linsay. He tells her he is planning a fantastic voyage across the Long Mars and wants her to accompany him. But Sally soon learns that Willis has ulterior motives ... Meanwhile U. S. Navy Commander Maggie Kauffman has embarked on an incredible journey of her own, leading an expedition to the outer limits of the far Long Earth. For Joshua, the crisis he faces is much closer to home. He becomes embroiled in the plight of the Next: the super-bright post-humans who are beginning to emerge from their 'long childhood' in the community called Happy Landings, located deep in the Long Earth. Ignorance and fear are causing 'normal' human society to turn against the Next - and a dramatic showdown seems inevitable . . .
A generation after the events of The Long Earth, mankind has spread across the new worlds opened up by Stepping. Where Joshua and Lobsang once pioneered, now fleets of airships link the stepwise Americas with trade and culture. Mankind is shaping the Long Earth - but in turn the Long Earth is shaping mankind ... A new `America', called Valhalla, is emerging more than a million steps from Datum Earth, with core American values restated in the plentiful environment of the Long Earth - and Valhalla is growing restless under the control of the Datum government... Meanwhile the Long Earth is suffused by the song of the trolls, graceful hive-mind humanoids. But the trolls are beginning to react to humanity's thoughtless exploitation ... Joshua, now a married man, is summoned by Lobsang to deal with a gathering multiple crisis that threatens to plunge the Long Earth into a war unlike any mankind has waged before.
THERE'S A WEREWOLF WITH PRE-LUNAR TENSION IN ANKH-MORPORK. AND A DWARF WITH ATTITUDE AND A GOLEM WHO'S BEGUN TO THINK FOR ITSELF. But for Commander Vimes, Head of Ankh-Morpork City Watch, that's only the start... There's treason in the air. A crime has happened. He's not only got to find out whodunit, but howdunit too. He's not even sure what they dun. But soon as he knows what the questions are, he's going to want some answers.
DISCWORLD GOES TO WAR, WITH ARMIES OF SARDINES, WARRIORS, FISHERMEN, SQUID AND AT LEAST ONE VERY CAMP FOLLOWER. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch faces unpleasant foes who are out to get him... and that's just the people on his side. The enemy might be even worse. JINGO, the 21st in Terry Pratchett's phenomenally successful Discworld series, makes the World Cup look like a friendly five-a-side.
Not just another science audiobook and not just another Discworld novella,The Science of Discworldis a creative, mind-bending mash-up of fiction and fact, that offers a wizard's-eye view of our world that will forever change how you look at the universe.Can Unseen University's eccentric wizards and orangutan Librarian possibly shed any useful light on hard, rational Earthly science? In the course of an exciting experiment, the wizards of Discworld have accidentally created a new universe. Within this universe is a planet that they name Roundworld. Roundworld is, of course, Earth, and the universe is our own. As the wizards watch their creation grow, Terry Pratchett and acclaimed science writers Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen use Discworld to examine science from the outside. Interwoven with the Pratchett's original story are entertaining, enlightening chapters which explain key scientific principles such as the Big Bang theory and the evolution of life on earth, as well as great moments in the history of science.
A generation after the events of The Long Earth, mankind has spread across the new worlds opened up by Stepping. Where Joshua and Lobsang once pioneered, now fleets of airships link the stepwise Americas with trade and culture. Mankind is shaping the Long Earth - but in turn the Long Earth is shaping mankind ... A new `America', called Valhalla, is emerging more than a million steps from Datum Earth, with core American values restated in the plentiful environment of the Long Earth - and Valhalla is growing restless under the control of the Datum government... Meanwhile the Long Earth is suffused by the song of the trolls, graceful hive-mind humanoids. But the trolls are beginning to react to humanity's thoughtless exploitation ... Joshua, now a married man, is summoned by Lobsang to deal with a gathering multiple crisis that threatens to plunge the Long Earth into a war unlike any mankind has waged before.
The alchemists of the Discworld have discovered the magic of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? It's up to Victor Tugelbend ('Can't sing. Can't dance. Can handle a sword a little') and Theda Withel ('I come from a little town you've probably never heard of') to find out... MOVING PICTURES, THE TENTH DISCWORLD NOVEL IS A GLORIOUSLY FUNNY SAGA SET AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF A WORLD GONE MAD!
MIGHTY BATTLES! REVOLUTION! DEATH! WAR! (AND HIS SONS TERROR AND PANIC, AND DAUGHTER CLANCY). The oldest and most inscrutable empire on the Discworld is in turmoil, brought about by the revolutionary treatise What I did on My Holidays. Workers are uniting, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes. Warlords are struggling for power. War (and Clancy) are spreading throughout the ancient cities. And all that stands in the way of terrible doom for everyone is: Rincewind the Wizard, who can't even spell the word 'wizard'... Cohen the barbarian hero, five foot tall in his surgical sandals, who has had a lifetime's experience of not dying... ...and a very special butterfly.
It is known as the Discworld. It is a flat planet, supported on the backs of four elephants, who in turn stand on the back of the great turtle A'Tuin as it swims majestically through space. And it is quite possibly the funniest place in all of creation. The last thing the wizard Drum Billet did, before Death laid a bony hand on his shoulder, was to pass on his staff of power to the eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately for his colleagues in the chauvinistic (not to say misogynistic) world of magic, he failed to check on the new-born baby's sex... Terry Pratchett turns his acute satirical eye on sexual equality and chauvinism in his hilarious third Discworld novel.
Witches are not by nature gregarious, and they certainly don't have leaders. Granny Weatherwax was the most highly regarded of the leaders they didn't have. But even she found that meddling in royal politics was a lot more difficult than certain playwrights would have you believe...
Terry Pratchett joins up with a leading folklorist to reveal the legends, myths and customs of Discworld, together with helpful hints from Planet Earth.Most of us grew up having always known when to touch wood or cross our fingers, and what happens when a princess kisses a frog or a boy pulls a sword from a stone, yet sadly some of these things are beginning to be forgotten. Legends, myths, and fairy tales: our world is made up of the stories we told ourselves about where we came from and how we got here. It is the same on Discworld, except that beings, which on Earth are creatures of the imagination like vampires, trolls, witches and, possibly, gods are real, alive and, in some cases kicking, on the Disc.In The Folklore of Discworld, Terry Pratchett teams up with leading British folklorist Jacqueline Simpson to take an irreverent yet illuminating look at the living myths and folklore that are reflected, celebrated and affectionately libelled in the uniquely imaginative universe of Discworld.
The new Discworld novel, the 40th in the series, sees the Disc's first train come steaming into town. Change is afoot in Ankh-Morpork. Discworld's first steam engine has arrived, and once again Moist von Lipwig finds himself with a new and challenging job.
'Be a MAN in the City Watch! The City Watch needs MEN!' But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-constable Angua (a woman... most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving). And they need all the help they can get. Because they've only got 24 hours to clean up the town and this is Ankh-Morpork we're talking about...
This is where the dragons went. They lie... not dead, not asleep, but... dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key... GUARDS! GUARDS! is the 8th Discworld novel - and after this, dragons will never be the same again!
The fourth book in the Science of Discworld series, and this time around dealing with The Really Big Questions, Terry Pratchett's brilliant new Discworld story Judgement Day is annotated with very big footnotes (the interleaving chapters) by mathematician Ian Stewart and biologist Jack Cohen, to bring you a mind-mangling combination of fiction, cutting-edge science and philosophy. Marjorie Daw is a librarian, and takes her job - and indeed the truth of words - very seriously. She doesn't know it, but her world and ours - Roundworld - is in big trouble. On Discworld, a colossal row is brewing. The Wizards of Unseen University feel responsible for Roundworld (as one would for a pet gerbil). After all, they brought it into existence by bungling an experiment in Quantum ThaumoDynamics. But legal action is being brought against them by Omnians, who say that the Wizards' god-like actions make a mockery of their noble religion. As the finest legal brains in Discworld (a zombie and a priest) gird their loins to do battle - and when the Great Big Thing in the High Energy Magic Laboratory is switched on - Marjorie Daw finds herself thrown across the multiverse and right in the middle of the whole explosive affair. As God, the Universe and, frankly, Everything Else is investigated by the trio, you can expect world-bearing elephants, quantum gravity in the Escher-verse, evolutionary design, eternal inflation, dark matter, disbelief systems - and an in-depth study of how to invent a better mousetrap.
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novelsThe Monstrous Regiment in question is made up of a vampire (reformed and off the blood, thank you), a troll, Igor (who is only too happy to sew you a new leg if you aren't too particular about previous ownership), a collection of misfits and a young woman discovers that a pair of socks shoved down her pants is a good way to open up doors in a man's army."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novelsThe Monstrous Regiment in question is made up of a vampire (reformed and off the blood, thank you), a troll, Igor (who is only too happy to sew you a new leg if you aren't too particular about previous ownership), a collection of misfits and a young woman discovers that a pair of socks shoved down her pants is a good way to open up doors in a man's army."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novelsSet in Ankh-Morpork one of the most thoroughly imagined cities in fantasy, Night Watch is the story of Sam Vimes, running hero of the Guards sequence, who finds himself cast back in time to the Ankh-Morpork of his youth. With a psychopath from his own time rising in the vile ranks of the Cable Street Unmentionables complicating things, Vimes has to ensure that history takes its course so that he will have the right future to go back to, and to keep his younger self alive."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novelsSet in Ankh-Morpork one of the most thoroughly imagined cities in fantasy, Night Watch is the story of Sam Vimes, running hero of the Guards sequence, who finds himself cast back in time to the Ankh-Morpork of his youth. With a psychopath from his own time rising in the vile ranks of the Cable Street Unmentionables complicating things, Vimes has to ensure that history takes its course so that he will have the right future to go back to, and to keep his younger self alive."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)
'Some people would be asking: whose side are you on? If you're not for us, you're against us. Huh. If you're not an apple, you're a banana' Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
'Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come round again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes.' For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. He's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down the murderer and change the outcome of the rebellion. The problem is: if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future... A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution. Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a Hard-boiled Egg!
'Whoever said you can't fool an honest man wasn't one' The Royal Bank is facing a crisis, and it's time for a change of management. Who would not to wish for that job? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint runs at a loss, and people actually want to know where the money's gone. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies. What he should be doing is . . . Making Money!
Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. This is not going to be a gentleman's game. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
The post was an old thing, of course, but it was so old that it had magically become new again. Moist von Lipwig is a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet. It's a tough decision. The post is a creaking old institution, overshadowed by new technology. But there are people who still believe in it, and Moist must become one of them if he's going to see that the mail gets though, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer. Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too. Perhaps there's a shot at redemption in the mad world of the mail, waiting for a man who's prepared to push the envelope...
'Trousers. That's the secret...Put on trousers and the world changes. We walk different. We act different. I see these girls and I think: idiots! Get yourself some trousers!' Women belong in the kitchen - everyone knows that. Not in jobs, pubs or indeed trousers, and certainly not on the front line. Polly Perks has to become a boy in a hurry if she wants to find her brother in the army. Cutting off her hair and wearing the trousers is easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape takes more time. And there's a war on. There's always a war on. Polly and her fellow raw recruits are suddenly in the thick of it. All they have on their side is the most artful sergeant in the army and a vampire with a lust for coffee. Well . . . they have the Secret. And it's time to make a stand.
A beautiful gift edition of the classic Discworld novel. Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. The trouble is, he's not very good at it. All he wants is the usual three wishes: to be immortal, rule the world and have the most beautiful woman fall madly in love with him. The usual stuff. But what he gets is Rincewind, the Disc's most incompetent wizard, and Rincewind's Luggage (the world's most dangerous travel accessory) into the bargain. Terry Pratchett's hilarious take on the Faust legend stars many of the Discworld's most popular characters in an outrageous adventure that will leave Eric wishing once more - this time, quite fervently, that he'd never been born.
There was an eighth son of an eighth son. He was, quite naturally, a wizard. And there it should have ended. However (for reasons we'd better not go into), he had seven sons. And then he had an eighth son... a wizard squared... a source of magic... a Sourcerer. Sourcery sees the return of Rincewind and the Luggage as the Discworld faces its greatest - and funniest - challenge yet.
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you'. Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse - and indeed treasury - is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. And particularly when your only visible means of support is a recently acquired qualification from the Guild of Assassins where running a kingdom and basic financial acumen were not prerequisites for course entry...
In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: Hey, you! For Brutha the novice is the Chosen One. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please...
OTHER CHILDREN GET GIVEN XYLOPHONES. SUSAN JUST HAD TO ASK HER GRANDFATHER TO TAKE HIS VEST OFF. Yes. There's a Death in the family. It's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe - especially when you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered Discworld. It's lawless. It changes people. It's called Music With Rocks In. It's got a beat and you can dance to it, but... It's alive. And it won't fade away.
IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE HOGSWATCH AND IT'S TOO QUIET. Where is the big jolly fat man? Why is Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say Ho Ho Ho? The darkest night of the year is getting a lot darker... Susan the gothic governess has got to sort it out by morning, otherwise there won't be a morning. Ever again... The 20th Discworld novel is a festive feast of darkness and Death (but with jolly robins and tinsel too). As they say: You'd better watch out...
Die Zauberer der Unsichtbaren Universitat haben im Rahmen eines besonders groen Experiments eine Brucke zur Rundwelt geschaffen - und damit eine Erdenbewohnerin auf die Scheibenwelt geholt. Im Gegenzug sollen der Erzkanzler und Rincewind auf der Rundwelt nach dem Rechten sehen - die Reise sollte nicht allzu gefahrlich sein, schlielich gibt es keine Dinosaurier mehr, allenfalls noch ein, zwei Kriege und ein wenig globale Erwarmung. Doch als Rincewind auf der Rundwelt eintrifft, nimmt das Unheil seinen Lauf ... Und auf der Scheibenwelt streiten die Zauberer derweil mit der Kirche von Om um die Eigentumsrechte an der Rundwelt - der letzte Tag unserer Erde ist angebrochen ...
DEATH IS MISSING - PRESUMED... ER... GONE. Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. Meanwhile, on a little farm far, far away, a tall, dark stranger is turning out to be really good with a scythe. There's a harvest to be gathered in...
It is known as the Discworld. It is a flat planet, supported on the backs of four elephants, who in turn stand on the back of the great turtle A'Tuin as it swims majestically through space. And it is quite possibly the funniest place in all of creation... Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job. After being assured that being dead was not compulsory, Mort accepted. However, he soon found that romantic longings did not mix easily with the responsibilities of being Death's apprentice. Terry Pratchett's hilarious fourth Discworld novel established once and for all that Death really is a laughing matter...
The audiobook edition of the hilarious fantasy, co-written by Terry Pratchett, at age seventeen, and Terry Pratchett, at age forty-three In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet Now, the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples, and a new story: the story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet; the story of power-hungry mouls and of two Munrung brothers who set out on an adventure to end all adventures when their village is flattened. It's a story that will come to a terrible end if someone doesn' t do something about it.Includes a PDF of Terry Pratchett's drawings
THE BESTSELLING RAISING STEAM AUDIOBOOK To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear. Moist von Lipwig is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital . . . but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse . . . Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails . . . Tony Robinson narrates this wonderful new Terry Pratchett audiobook.
Discworld goes to war!Somewhere in the Circle Sea between Ankh-Morpork and Al-Khali, the Lost Kingdom of Leshp has emerged after hundreds of years beneath the waves. And so with no ships, no army and no money, Ankh-Morpork goes to war against the Klatchian army claiming the rock as their own.Undaunted by the prospect of being tortured to death by vastly superior numbers of enemy troops, a small band of intrepid men and a very thick troll set out under the command of Sir Samuel Vimes of the City Watch.If they can survive long enough, maybe they can arrest an entire army for breach of the peace...
Discworld goes to war!Somewhere in the Circle Sea between Ankh-Morpork and Al-Khali, the Lost Kingdom of Leshp has emerged after hundreds of years beneath the waves. And so with no ships, no army and no money, Ankh-Morpork goes to war against the Klatchian army claiming the rock as their own.Undaunted by the prospect of being tortured to death by vastly superior numbers of enemy troops, a small band of intrepid men and a very thick troll set out under the command of Sir Samuel Vimes of the City Watch.If they can survive long enough, maybe they can arrest an entire army for breach of the peace...
Moist von Lipwig was a con artist, a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet.It was a tough decision.With the help of a golem who has been at the bottom of hole in the ground for over two hundred years, a pin fanatic and Junior Postman Groat, he's got to see that the mail gets through. In taking on the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer, he's also got to stay alive.Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.In the mad world of the mail, can a criminal succeed where honest men have failed and died? Perhaps there's a shot at redemption for man who's prepared to push the envelope...
Moist von Lipwig was a con artist, a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet.It was a tough decision.With the help of a golem who has been at the bottom of hole in the ground for over two hundred years, a pin fanatic and Junior Postman Groat, he's got to see that the mail gets through. In taking on the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer, he's also got to stay alive.Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.In the mad world of the mail, can a criminal succeed where honest men have failed and died? Perhaps there's a shot at redemption for man who's prepared to push the envelope...
In the four decades since his first book appeared in print, Terry Pratchett has become one of the world's best-selling and best-loved authors. Here for the first time are his short stories and other short form fiction collected into one volume. A Blink of the Screen charts the course of Pratchett's long writing career: from his schooldays through to his first writing job on the Bucks Free Press,; to the origins of his debut novel, The Carpet People; and on again to the dizzy mastery of the phenomenally successful Discworld series. Here are characters both familiar and yet to be discovered; abandoned worlds and others still expanding; adventure, chickens, death, disco and, actually, some quite disturbing ideas about Christmas,all of it shot through with his inimitable brand of humour. With an introduction by Booker Prize-winning author A.S. Byatt, illustrations by the late Josh Kirby and drawings by the author himself, this is a book to treasure.
Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. You mess with it at your peril. You can let it move fast or slowly but what you mustn't do is allow it to stop. On the Discworld time management is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like the underwater - how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And when time stands still, everything stops with it. Then, there really is no future.
William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. New printing technology means that words just won't obediently stay nailed down like usual. There's a very real threat of news getting out there. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes. William just wants to get at THE TRUTH. Unfortunately, everyone else wants to get at William. And it's only the third edition...
'Anything you do in the past changes the future. The tiniest little actions have huge consequences. You might tread on an ant now and it might entirely prevent someone from being born in the future.' There's nothing like the issue of evolution to get under the skin of academics. Even if their field of expertise is magic rather than biology. With the best and most interfering minds of Unseen University somehow left in charge at a critical evolutionary turning point, the Discworld's last continent needs a saviour... Who is this hero striding across the red desert? Sheep shearer, beer drinker, bush ranger, and someone who'll even eat a Meat Pie Floater when he's sober. In fact, it's Rincewind, a wizard so inept he can't even spell wizard. He's the only hero left. Still...no worries, eh?
In this and indeed other lives there are givers and takers. It's safe to say that vampires are very much in the latter camp. They don't have much time for the givers of this world - except perhaps mealtimes - and even less for priests. Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be a priest. Lancre's newest residents are a thoroughly modern, sophisticated vampire family. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future. But they haven't met the neighbours yet: between them and Lancre stand Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. And Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies. And young Agnes, although she is really in two minds about everything. Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.
They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a certain inclination in that direction. It's not something you can just pick up on the job. A few days ago Sam Vimes was a copper - an important copper, true - chief of police - but still, at his core, a policeman. But today he is an ambassador - to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Today, Sam Vimes is also a man on the run. He has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. There are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up.
Dodger is a tosher - a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn't. But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger's tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins...
Dodger is a tosher - a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn't. But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger's tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins...
Dodger ist ein Straenjunge - doch nicht irgendeiner. Wahrend eines Uberfalls in den nachtlichen Gassen Londons rettet er einer Unbekannten das Leben, der betorend schonen Simplicity. Fortan setzt er alles daran, mehr uber die Tat und die Herkunft der jungen Frau herauszufinden. Auf der Suche nach den Tatern bringt Dodger ganz nebenbei einen morderischen Barbier namens Sweeney Todd zur Strecke und wird dadurch fur ganz London zum Helden. Dies jedoch ruft einen geheimnisvollen Attentater ebenso auf den Plan wie die Halunken, die Simplicity nach dem Leben trachten und ihren jungen Beschutzer lieber fruher als spater tot sehen wollen ...
A generation after the events of The Long Earth, mankind has spread across the new worlds opened up by Stepping. Where Joshua and Lobsang once pioneered, now fleets of airships link the stepwise Americas with trade and culture. Mankind is shaping the Long Earth - but in turn the Long Earth is shaping mankind ... A new `America', called Valhalla, is emerging more than a million steps from Datum Earth, with core American values restated in the plentiful environment of the Long Earth - and Valhalla is growing restless under the control of the Datum government... Meanwhile the Long Earth is suffused by the song of the trolls, graceful hive-mind humanoids. But the trolls are beginning to react to humanity's thoughtless exploitation ... Joshua, now a married man, is summoned by Lobsang to deal with a gathering multiple crisis that threatens to plunge the Long Earth into a war unlike any mankind has waged before.
This is the countryside, after all. Everyone sees where you go and you never know who is behind a hedge. And if you're very unlucky, the person behind the hedge could have very unfriendly intentions. It may look idyllic, but the countryside isn't all flowers and thatched cottages and bracing walks in your best tweed. Beneath the greenery lies a dark underbelly, and there's something about rambling country houses that attracts dastardly plots and grisly murder. A challenge for any detective, but especially for one bred in the city who doesn't understand the Way Things Are Done. In the countryside, people know their place, and everyone else's place too, especially if it's beneath their own. And they have some rather old fashioned ideas about people who are...different from them.
Susan had never hung up a stocking . She'd never put a tooth under her pillow in the serious expectation that a dentally inclined fairy would turn up. It wasn't that her parents didn't believe in such things. They didn't need to believe in them. They know they existed. They just wished they didn't. It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. Where is the big jolly fat man? There are those who believe and those who don't, but either way it's not right to find Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say Ho Ho Ho. Superstition makes things work in Discworld, and undermining it can have Consequences, particularly on the last night of the year when the time is turning. Susan the gothic governess has got to sort everything out by morning, otherwise there won't be a morning. Ever again... The 20th Discworld novel is a festive feast of darkness and Death (but with jolly robins and tinsel too). As they say: 'You'd better watch out...'
'Sorry?' said Carrot. If it's just a thing, how can it commit murder? A sword is a thing' - he drew his own sword; it made an almost silken sound - 'and of course you can't blame a sword if someone thrust it at you, sir.' For Commander Vimes, Head of Ankh-Morpork City Watch, life consists of troubling times, linked together by...well, more troubling times. Right now, it's the latter. There's a werewolf with pre-lunar tension in the city, and a dwarf with attitude and a golem who's begun to think for itself, but that's just ordinary trouble. The real problem is more puzzling - people are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene. So Vimes not only has to find out whodunit, but howdunit too. He's not even sure what they dun. But soon as he knows what the questions are, he's going to want some answers.
'A foot on the neck is nine points of the law' There are many who say that the art of diplomacy is an intricate and complex dance. There are others who maintain that it's merely a matter of who carries the biggest stick. The oldest and most inscrutable (not to mention heavily fortified) empire on the Discworld is in turmoil, brought about by the revolutionary treatise What I did on My Holidays. Workers are uniting, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes; warlords are struggling for power - and what the nation wants, to avoid terrible doom for everyone, is a wizard. Rincewind is not the Disc's premier wizard - in fact, he can't even spell `wizard' - but no-one specified whether competence was an issue. And they do have a very big stick... Mighty Battles! Revolution! Death! War! (And his sons Terror and Panic and daughter Clancy).
'Neighbours... hah. People'd live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear.' And when the neighbours in question are the proud empires of Klatch and Ankh-Morpork, those are going to be some pretty large garden tools indeed. Of course, no-one would dream of starting a war without a perfectly good reason...such as a 'strategic' piece of old rock in the middle of nowhere. It is after all every citizen's right to bear arms to defend what they consider to be their own. Even if it isn't. And even if they don't have much in the way of actual weaponry. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch faces unpleasant foes who are out to get him... and that's just the people on his side. The enemy might be even worse. Discworld goes to war, with armies of sardines, warriors, fishermen, squid and at least one very camp follower.
'I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought. Now everwhere I go there's...' Death, to be precise. And plenty of it. In unpleasant variations. This isn't real life - it's worse. This is the Opera House, Ankh-Morpork...a huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely-familiar evil mastermind in a mask and evening dress, with a penchant for lurking in shadows, occasional murder, and sending little notes full of maniacal laughter and exclamation marks. Opera can do that to a man. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld's most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn't hold with that sort of thing. So there's going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evenin's entertainment with murders you can really hum...). And the show MUST go on.
1916: the Western Front. Private Percy Blakeney wakes up. He is lying on fresh spring grass. He can hear birdsong, and the wind in the leaves in the trees. Where has the mud, blood and blasted landscape of No Man's Land gone? 2015: Madison, Wisconsin. Cop Monica Jansson is exploring the burned-out home of a reclusive (some said mad, others dangerous) scientist when she finds a curious gadget - a box containing some wiring, a three-way switch and a...potato. It is the prototype of an invention that will change the way Mankind views his world for ever. And that is an understatement if ever there was one...
1916: the Western Front. Private Percy Blakeney wakes up. He is lying on fresh spring grass. He can hear birdsong, and the wind in the leaves in the trees. Where has the mud, blood and blasted landscape of No Man's Land gone? 2015: Madison, Wisconsin. Cop Monica Jansson is exploring the burned-out home of a reclusive (some said mad, others dangerous) scientist when she finds a curious gadget - a box containing some wiring, a three-way switch and a...potato. It is the prototype of an invention that will change the way Mankind views his world for ever. And that is an understatement if ever there was one...
Roundworld is in trouble again, and this time it looks fatal. Having created it in the first place, the wizards of Unseen University feel vaguely responsible for its safety. They know the creatures who lived there escaped the impending Big Freeze by inventing the space elevator - they even intervened to rid the planet of a plague of elves, who attempted to divert humanity onto a different time track. But now it's all gone wrong - Victorian England has stagnated and the pace of progress would embarrass a limping snail. Unless something drastic is done, there won't be time for anyone to invent spaceflight and the human race will be turned into ice-pops. Why, though, did history come adrift? Was it Sir Arthur Nightingale's dismal book about natural selection? Or was it the devastating response by an obscure country vicar called Charles Darwin, whose bestselling Theology of Species made it impossible to refute the divine design of living creatures? Either way, it's no easy task to change history, as the wizards discover to their cost. Can the God of Evolution come to humanity's aid and ensure Darwin writes a very different book? And who stopped him writing it in the first place?
Acclaimed The Science of Discworld centred around an original Pratchett story about the wizards of Discworld. In it they accidentally witnessed the creation and evolution of our universe, a plot which was interleaved with a Cohen & Stewart non-fiction narrative about Big Science. In The Science of Discworld II: The Globe our authors join forces again to see just what happens when the wizards meddle with history in a battle against the elves for the future of humanity on Earth. London is replaced by a dozy Neanderthal village. The Renaissance is given a push. The role of fat women in art is developed. And one very famous playwright gets born and writes The Play. Weaving together a fast-paced Discworld novelette with cutting-edge scientific commentary on the evolution and development of the human mind, culture, language, art, and science, The Globe presents a fascinating and brilliantly original view of the world we live in. The scene of the final epic battle is the first production of A Midsummer's Night Dream at the Globe Theatre.
The fantastic first book in the Sunday Times bestselling Science of Discworld series When a wizardly experiment goes adrift, the wizards of Unseen University find themselves with a pocket universe on their hands: Roundworld, where neither magic nor common sense seems to stand a chance against logic. The Universe, of course, is our own. And Roundworld is Earth. As the wizards watch their accidental creation grow, we follow the story of our universe from the primal singularity of the Big Bang to the internet and beyond. Through this original Terry Pratchett story (with intervening chapters from Cohen and Stewart) we discover how puny and insignificant individual lives are against a cosmic backdrop of creation and disaster. Yet, paradoxically, we see how the richness of a universe based on rules, has led to a complex world and at least one species that tried to get a grip of what was going on. Terry Pratchett is the acclaimed creator of the global bestselling Discworld series, the first of which, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983. Raising Steam is his fortieth Discworld novel. His books have been widely adapted for stage and screen, and he is the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal, as well as being awarded a knighthood for services to literature. After falling out with his keyboard he now talks to his computer. Occasionally, these days, it answers back. www.terrypratchett.co.uk @terryandrob Professor Ian Stewart is the author of many popular science books. He is the mathematics consultant for New Scientist and a Professor of Mathematics at the University of Warwick. He was awarded the Michael Faraday Prize for furthering the public understanding of science, and in 2001 became a Fellow of the Royal Society. Dr Jack Cohen is an internationally-known reproductive biologist, and lives in Newent, Gloucestershire. Jack has a laboratory in his kitchen, helps couples get pregnant by referring them to colleagues, invents biologically realistic aliens for science fiction writers and, in his spare time, throws boomerangs. Jack, who has more letters to his name than can be repeated here, writes, lectures, talks and campaigns to promote public awareness of science, particularly biology. He is mostly retired.
'Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn't treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you've got to know where the story ends.' It seemed an easy job... After all, how difficult could it be to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince? Quite hard, actually, even for the witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick. That's the problem with real life - it tends to get in the way of a good story, and a good story is hard to resist. Servant girls have to marry the prince. That's what life is all about. You can't fight a Happy Ending, especially when it comes with glass slippers and a Fairy Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse. At least - up until now...
'What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place.' The City Watch needs MEN! But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-constable Angua (a woman... most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving). And they need all the help they can get, because someone in Ankh-Morpork has been getting dangerous ideas - about crowns and legendary swords, and destiny. And the problem with destiny is, of course, that she is not always careful where she points her finger. One minute you might be minding your own business on a normal if not spectacular career path, the next you might be in the frame for the big job, like saving the world...
'Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.' In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: 'Hey, you!' This is the Discworld, after all, and religion is a controversial business. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods, of every shape and size, and all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, shape and size can be pretty crucial to make one's presence felt. So it's certainly not helpful to be reduced to appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book. In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast: for the Great God Om, Brutha the novice is the Chosen One - or at least the only One available. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please...
This is a story about sex and drugs and Music With Rocks In. Well... ...one out of three ain't bad. Being sixteen is always difficult, even more so when there's a Death in the family. After all, it's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe. Especially if he decides to take a well-earned moment to uncover the meaning of life and discover himself in the process, so that you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered Discworld. It's lawless. It changes people. It's got a beat and you can dance to it. It's called Music With Rocks In. And it won't fade away.
The fairies are back - but this time they don't just want your teeth... It's Midsummer Night - no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there's more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down. Unfortunately there's usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place - to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order. Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. And even in a world of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and the odd orang-utan, this is going to cause real trouble. With lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.
ROLL UP! ROLL UP! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Ladies and Gents, Sir Jack Dodger brings you a most excellent Guide to London! Did you know . . . ? If a Victorian couldn't afford a sweep, they might drop a goose down their chimney to clean it! A nobby lady's unmentionables could weigh up to 40lbs! Parliament had to be suspended during the Great Stink of 1858! From the wretches of the rookeries to the fancy coves at Buckingham Palace, Dodger will show you every dirty inch of London. Warning: Includes 'orrible murders, naughty ladies and plenty of geezers!
Drei unnachahmlich unterhaltsame Sachbucher aus Sicht der Gelehrten der Scheibenwelt - unverzichtbar fur alle Terry-Pratchett-Junger: Als Ergebnis eines missgluckten Experiments besitzen die Zauberer der Unsichtbaren Universitat plotzlich ein Miniaturweltall: die irdische Rundwelt. Unter Fuhrung der weisen Magier verfolgen wir die Geschichte unseres Universums vom Urknall bis zum Internet und daruber hinaus.
Drei unnachahmlich unterhaltsame Sachbucher aus Sicht der Gelehrten der Scheibenwelt - unverzichtbar fur alle Terry- Pratchett-Junger: Als Ergebnis eines missgluckten Experiments besitzen die Zauberer der Unsichtbaren Universitat plotzlich ein Miniaturweltall: die irdische Rundwelt. Unter Fuhrung der weisen Magier verfolgen wir die Geschichte unseres Universums vom Urknall bis zum Internet und daruber hinaus.
Drei unnachahmlich unterhaltsame Sachbucher aus Sicht der Gelehrten der Scheibenwelt - unverzichtbar fur alle Terry- Pratchett-Junger: Als Ergebnis eines missgluckten Experiments besitzen die Zauberer der Unsichtbaren Universitat plotzlich ein Miniaturweltall: die irdische Rundwelt. Unter Fuhrung der weisen Magier verfolgen wir die Geschichte unseres Universums vom Urknall bis zum Internet und daruber hinaus.
Greetings, adventurer! We lay before you this most comprehensive gazetteer encompassing all the streets of Ankh-Morpork, as well as information on its principal businesses, hotels, taverns, inns, and places of entertainment and refreshment, enhanced by the all-new and compleat map of our great city state. Our city has grown well beyond its ancient walls, but the remit of this commission from the honourable Guild of Merchants was to `map the city', the pulsing organ of commerce and culture, the heart as opposed to the body, and this we have done. In spades. We ask that when you pore over this glorious work you spare some thought for the humble cartographers and surveyors who made journeys into the darker corners of our metropolis - no less dangerous than the wilds of Skund or Bhangbhangduc. To some the only memorial is the map you now possess. Others, in their quest for knowledge, paid the highest price that scholarship demands, which is to say, a day off in lieu. And so we dedicate this map and these accompanying words to the officers, councilors and members of the Merchants' Guild and to all who will find in its pages paths yet to tread and places yet to explore within the magnificentbwonder that is the city of Ankh-Morpork.
Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle. Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king cruelly murdered, his throne usurped by his ambitious cousin. A child heir and the crown of the kingdom, both missing... Witches don't have these kind of dynastic problems themselves - in fact, they don't have leaders. Granny Weatherwax was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn't have. But even she found that meddling in royal politics was a lot more complicated than certain playwrights would have you believe, particularly when the blood on your hands just won't wash off and you're facing a future with knives in it...
'Death has to happen. That's what bein' alive is all about. You're alive, and then you're dead. It can't just stop happening.' But it can. And it has. Death is missing - presumed...er...gone (and on a little farm far, far away, a tall dark stranger is turning out to be really good with a scythe). Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. If Death doesn't come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can't have the undead wandering about like lost souls. There's no telling what might happen, particularly when they discover that life really is only for the living...
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.' Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when, like Teppic, you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country rather earlier than expected, and your treasury is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. He'd had the best education money could buy of course, but unfortunately the syllabus at the Assassin's Guild in Ankh-Morpork did not cover running a kingdom and basic financial acumen...
`Vimes ran a practised eye over the assortment before him. It was the usual Ankh-Morpork mob in times of crisis; half of them were here to complain, a quarter of them were here to watch the other half, and the remainder were here to rob, importune or sell hotdogs to the rest.' Insurrection is in the air in Ankh-Morpork. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. Captain Sam Vimes of the city's ramshackle Night Watch is used to this. It's enough to drive a man to drink. Well, to drink more. But this time, something is different - the Have-Nots have found the key to a dormant, lethal weapon that even they don't fully understand, and they're about to unleash a campaign of terror on the city. Time for Captain Vimes to sober up.
'Holy Wood is a different sort of place. People act differently here. Everywhere else the most important things are gods or money or cattle. Here, the most important thing is to be important.' Alchemists have always thought that they can change reality, shape it to their own purpose. Imagine then the damage that could be wrought on the Discworld if they get their hands on the ultimate alchemy: the invention of motion pictures, the greatest making of illusions. It may be a triumph of universe-shaking proportions. It's either that or they're about to unlock the dark secret of the Holy Wood hills - by mistake...
A storm. Rain-lashed city streets. A flash of lightning. A scruffy lad sees a girl leap desperately from a horse-drawn carriage in a vain attempt to escape her captors. Can the lad stand by and let her be caught again? Of course not, because he's . . . Dodger.Seventeen-year-old Dodger may be a street urchin, but he gleans a living from London's sewers, and he knows a jewel when he sees one. He's not about to let anything happen to the unknown girlnot even if her fate impacts some of the most powerful people in England.From Dodger's encounter with the mad barber Sweeney Todd to his meetings with the great writer Charles Dickens and the calculating politician Benjamin Disraeli, history and fantasy intertwine in a breathtaking account of adventure and mystery.Beloved and bestselling author Sir Terry Pratchett combines high comedy with deep wisdom in this tale of an unexpected coming-of-age and one remarkable boy's rise in a complex and fascinating world.
"e;Es war keine dunkle und sturmische Nacht. Eigentlich sollte es eine dunkle und sturmische Nacht sein, aber auf das Wetter ist eben kein Verlass."e; Die Geburt des Antichristen steht unter keinem guten Stern. Eigentlich soll der junge Warlock von den finsteren Engeln Erziraphael und Crowley zum gefurchteten Hollenfursten erzogen werden. Doch statt fur die Apokalypse interessiert sich der Junge viel mehr fur Baseball, seine Briefmarkensammlung und Kaugummi mit Bananengeschmack. Es stellt sich heraus, dass das Kind im Krankenhaus vertauscht wurde. Nun gilt es, den wahren Antichristen aufzuspuren. Zudem begreifen Erziraphael und Crowley, dass die Erde eigentlich doch gar keine so uble Gegend im Universum ist. Doch der Termin fur den Weltuntergang ruckt unaufhaltsam naher ...
Dodger is a tosher - a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn't. But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him. And Dodger's tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins...
Sir Terry Pratchett's enquiring adventure into time travel has its young teen hero, Johnny Maxwell, and his friends confronted with their own bomb-stricken street in WWII. Can they change history and avert the catastrophe? Matthew Holmes' script and song superbly support the plot in a musical for young people to perform and everyone to enjoy. Johnny and his friends travel back in time to their own street, site of a bombing raid intended for a nearby industrial complex. 'Collateral damage' is not the only disturbing issue: what happens to the present if you try to save lives in the past? Serious subjects, but with Terry Pratchett there's always the humour as well, and the musical includes a host of likeable characters. Matthew Holmes' script skilfully carries the plot along in Terry Pratchett style and his music swings to contemporary pop and the glorious sound of the forties Big Band. The complete performance pack with its photocopiable script and piano vocal score includes everything you need for rehearsing and presenting the final show, plus there's full audio support on CD so you don't need to read a note of music. To present a public performance of this musical you will need a performance licence. Simply email education@harpercollins.co.uk or phone 01484 668 148 and request a Performance Licence Application Form.
Der reiche Erbe Dom Sabalos hat eigentlich alles, was man sich wunschen kann: einen vorlauten Roboterdiener, einen verqueren Sicherheitschef und einen eigenen Planeten. Doch die Zukunft halt, vorhergesagt durch Wahrscheinlichkeitsrechnung, noch etwas viel Absurderes fur Dom bereit - er wird ermordet werden und sich danach auf eine Reise zur "e;dunklen Seite der Sonne"e; begeben. Doch alles geht schief, und das Schicksal hat sich uberdies verrechnet ... - Ein herrlich chaotischer Roman des beruhmten "e;Scheibenwelt"e;-Schopfers!
Kin Arad ist Planetengestalterin und wacht uber den Bau neuer Welten. Dabei hat sie jede Menge Arger mit ihren Mitarbeitern, die sich immer wieder alberne Scherze erlauben. Und dann taucht auch noch ein geheimnisvoller Fremder auf, der behauptet, eine flache Welt entdeckt zu haben, auf der Magier und Damonen ihr Unwesen treiben. Kin Arad reist zu dem geheimnisvollen Planeten und macht eine unglaubliche Entdeckung ... - In diesem Roman erschuf Terry Pratchett seine beruhmte Scheibenwelt!
All this books and stuff, that isn't what it should all be about. What we need is real wizardry. There was an eighth son of an eighth son. He was, quite naturally, a wizard. And there it should have ended. However (for reasons we'd better not go into), he had seven sons. And then he had an eighth son... a wizard squared...a source of magic...a Sourcerer. Unseen University has finally got what it wished for: the most powerful wizard on the disc. Which, unfortunately, could mean that the death of all wizardry is at hand. And that the world is going to end, depending on whom you listen to. Unless of course one inept wizard can take the University's most precious artefact, the very embodiment of magic itself, and deliver it halfway across the disc to safety...
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. The last thing the wizard Drum Billet did, before Death laid a bony hand on his shoulder, was to pass on his staff of power to the eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately for his colleagues in the chauvinistic (not to say misogynistic) world of magic, he failed to check that the baby in question was a son. Everybody knows that there's no such thing as a female wizard. But now it's gone and happened, there's nothing much anyone can do about it. Let the battle of the sexes begin...
1916: the Western Front. Private Percy Blakeney wakes up. He is lying on fresh spring grass. He can hear birdsong, and the wind in the leaves in the trees. Where has the mud, blood and blasted landscape of No Man's Land gone? 2015: Madison, Wisconsin. Cop Monica Jansson is exploring the burned-out home of a reclusive - some said mad, others dangerous - scientist when she finds a curious gadget: a box containing some wiring, a three-way switch and a...potato. It is the prototype of an invention that will change the way Mankind views his world for ever. And that's an understatement if ever there was one... The Long Earth is the first novel in an exciting new collaboration between the creator of Discworld Terry Pratchett and the acclaimed SF writer Stephen Baxter
'What shall we do?' said Twoflower. 'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival. As it moves towards a seemingly inevitable collision with a malevolent red star, the Discworld could do with a hero. What it doesn't need is a singularly inept and cowardly wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world, or a well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind (and legs) of its own. Which is a shame because that's all there is...
In the beginning there was...a turtle. Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it's carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc's very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world's first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land. Unfortunately, the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death, is a spectacularly inept wizard...
The possibilities are endless. (Just be careful what you wish for. . . .)1916: The Western Front. Private Percy Blakeney wakes up. He is lying on fresh spring grass. He can hear birdsong and the wind in the leaves. Where have the mud, blood, and blasted landscape of no-man's-land gone? For that matter, where has Percy gone?2015: Madison, Wisconsin. Police officer Monica Jansson is exploring the burned-out home of a reclusivesome say mad, others allege dangerousscientist who seems to have vanished. Sifting through the wreckage, Jansson find a curious gadget: a box containing some rudimentary wiring, a three-way switch, and . . . a potato. It is the prototype of an invention that will change the way humankind views the world forever.The first novel in an exciting new collaboration between Discworld creator Terry Pratchett and the acclaimed SF writer Stephen Baxter, The Long Earth transports readers to the ends of the earthand far beyond. All it takes is a single step. . . .
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment. They say that in the end all sins are forgiven. But not quite all...
In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet... That's the old story everyone knows and loves. But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an amazing adventure. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it... Co-written by Terry Pratchett, aged seventeen, and master storyteller, Terry Pratchett, aged forty-three.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies - and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, occasionally snookered and out of his mind. But never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment. They say that in the end all sins are forgiven. But not quite all... Winner of the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction
As the witch of the Chalk, Tiffany Aching performs the distinctly unglamorous work of caring for the needy. But someone - or something - is inciting fear, generating dark thoughts and angry murmurs against witches. Tiffany must find the source of unrest and defeat the evil at its root. Aided by the tiny-but-tough Wee Free Men, Tiffany faces a dire challenge, for if she falls, the whole Chalk falls with her . . . THE FOURTH BOOK IN THE TIFFANY ACHING SEQUENCE
From Snuff: 'Vimes' prompt arrival got a nod of approval from Sybil, who gingerly handed him a new book to read to Young Sam. Vimes looked at the cover. The title was The World of Poo. When his wife was out of eyeshot he carefully leafed through it. Well, okay, you had to accept that the world had moved on and these days fairy stories were probably not going to be about twinkly little things with wings. As he turned page after page, it dawned on him that whoever had written this book, they certainly knew what would make kids like Young Sam laugh until they were nearly sick. The bit about sailing down the river almost made him smile. But interspersed with the scatology was actually quite interesting stuff about septic tanks and dunnakin divers and gongfermors and how dog muck helped make the very best leather, and other things that you never thought you would need to know, but once heard somehow lodged in your mind.'
From Snuff: 'Vimes looked at the cover. The title was The World of Poo. When his wife was out of eyeshot he carefully leafed through it. Well, okay, you had to accept that the world had moved on and these days fairy stories were probably not going to be about twinkly little things with wings. As he turned page after page, it dawned on him that whoever had written this book, they certainly knew what would make kids like Young Sam laugh until they were nearly sick. The bit about sailing down the river almost made him smile. But interspersed with the scatology was actually quite interesting stuff about septic tanks and dunnakin divers and gongfermors and how dog muck helped make the very best leather, and other things that you never thought you would need to know, but once heard somehow lodged in your mind.' Helen Atkinson-Wood is an actress and presenter. She is probably best known as Mrs Miggins in Blackadder the Third. She has been twice nominated by The British Comedy Awards - Best Female Performer - for BBC's Radio Active and KYTV. She starred in Ben Elton's West End play Silly Cow and guests on QI and Have I Got News For You. Helen enjoys poo picking in Suffolk, where she has a horse and a home.
Am Anfang wurde das Kaufhaus geschaffen - als Heimat fur die winzigen Nomen, die sich auf seinen verschiedenen Etagen angesiedelt haben. Die Nomen fuhren ein friedliches Dasein - bis eines Tages die Parole "e;Raumungsverkauf"e; ausgerufen wird. Eine waghalsige Evakuierung mit einem Lastwagen beginnt. Doch auch aus ihrem neuen Zuhause "e;Steinbruch"e; werden die Wichte vertrieben. Schlielich treffen sie in einem Raumhafen auf den Gott NASA. Und eine Reise ins All wird die Nomen in ihre wahre Heimat fuhren ...
Am Anfang war eine endlose Flache. Dann kam der Teppich - ohne ein Fusselchen zwischen den Faden. Bald folgte der Staub, und daraus entstand alles ... Kein Mensch ahnt, dass im Gewebe des Teppichs kriegerische Winzlinge hausen. Ein herabgefallener Zuckerwurfel dient als Steinbruch fur Leckermauler, zermalmende Schritte deuten auf einen Zornesausbruch des Dunklen Lords hin. Doch der grote Feind der Mungrungs ist ein Monster namens Staubsauger ...
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, and occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment. They say that in the end all sins are forgiven. But not quite all...
Sir Terry Pratchett's ingeniously upended tale of the Pied Piper, has a roving band of highly intelligent rats as its heroic protagonists. Matthew Holmes' script and songs capture the plot in a captivating musical for children to perform and everyone to enjoy. Under the lazily, streetwise command of Maurice, a speaking cat, the rats prepare to pull their practiced scam on the town of Bad Blintz. But something's up and our heroes are scampering straight into someone else's scam - and it's not nice. Perfect for upper primary school performances, there are parts small and large for rats - heroic, villainous and oppressed - for humans on the good side and the bad, and of course for a cat named Maurice. The complete performance pack with its photocopiable script and piano vocal score includes everything you need for rehearsing and presenting the final show, plus there's full audio support on CD so you don't need to read a note of music. To present a public performance of this musical you will need a performance licence. Simply email education@harpercollins.co.uk or phone 01484 668 148 and request a Performance Licence Application Form.
A man with no eyes. No eyes at all. Two tunnels in his head . . . Somewhere - some time - there's a tangled ball of evil and spite, of hatred and malice, that has woken up. And it's waking up all the old stories too - stories about evil old witches . . . I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth Discworld title to feature witch Tiffany Aching and her tiny, fightin', boozin' pictsie friends, the Nac Mac Feegle (aka The Wee Free Men).
It's not a game any more . . . Every town on Discworld knows the stories about rats and pipers, and Maurice - a streetwise tomcat - leads a band of educated ratty friends (and a stupid kid) on a nice little earner. Piper plus rats equals lots and lots of money. Until they run across someone playing a different tune. Now he and his rats must learn a new concept: evil . . .
It starts with whispers. Then someone picks up a stone. Finally, the fires begin.When people turn on witches, the innocents suffer. . . . Tiffany Aching has spent years studying with senior witches, and now she is on her own. As the witch of the Chalk, she performs the bits of witchcraft that arent sparkly, arent fun, dont involve any kind of wand, and that people seldom ever hear about: She does the unglamorous work of caring for the needy. But someoneor somethingis igniting fear, inculcating dark thoughts and angry murmurs against witches. Aided by her tiny blue allies, the Wee Free Men, Tiffany must find the source of this unrest and defeat the evil at its rootbefore it takes her life. Because if Tiffany falls, the whole Chalk falls withher. Chilling drama combines with laughout-loud humor and searing insight as beloved and bestselling author Terry Pratchett tells the high-stakes story of a young witch who stands in the gap between good and evil.
A man with no eyes. No eyes at all. Two tunnels in his head . . . It's not easy being a witch, and it's certainly not all whizzing about on broomsticks, but Tiffany Aching - teen witch - is doing her best.Until something evil wakes up, something that stirs up all the old stories about nasty old witches, so that just wearing a pointy hat suddenly seems a very bad idea.Worse still, this evil ghost from the past is hunting down one witch in particular. He's hunting for Tiffany. Andhe's found her . . . A fabulous Discworld title filled with witches and magic and told in the inimitable Terry Pratchett style, I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth Discworld title to feature Tiffany and her tiny, fightin', boozin' pictsie friends, the Nac Mac Feegle (aka The Wee Free Men).
SAYING IT WITH FROZEN ROSES AND ICEBERGS . . . Tiffany Aching leaps into a dance - and suddenly the spirit of winter is in love with her. He's showering her with snowflakes and offering her a crown of ice - which is creepy, but also just a little bit . . . cool. Now she's dancing to his tune. She can't change the steps. But unless Tiffany can work out how to deal with the Wintersmith, there will never be another springtime . . . FROM MASTER STORYTELLER TERRY PRATCHETT
Following the National Theatre's success with plays based on novels by well-loved children's writers like Philip Pulman (His Dark Materials), Jamila Gavin (Coram Boy) and Michael Morpurgo (War Horse), the National now stages Mark Ravenhill's exhilarating adaptation of Terry Pratchett's witty and challenging adventure story in a major Christmas production for 2009. A parallel world, 1860. Two teenagers thrown together by a tsunami that has destroyed Mau's village and left Daphne shipwrecked on his South Pacific island, thousands of miles from home. One wears next to nothing, the other a long white dress; neither speaks the other's language; somehow they must learn to survive. As starving refugees gather, Daphne delivers a baby, milks a pig, brews beer and does battle with a mutineer. Mau fights cannibal Raiders, discovers the world is round and questions the reality of his tribe's fiercely patriarchal gods. Together they come of age, overseen by a foul-mouthed parrot, as they discard old doctrine to forge a new Nation.
'A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.' From, THE FIFTH ELEPHANT 'Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.' From, MOVING PICTURES The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld is a collection of the wittiest, pithiest and wisest quotations from this extraordinary universe, dealing one-by-one with each book in the canon. Guaranteed to transport you back to your favourite or forgotten Discworld moments it is the perfect book for die-hard Pratchett fans, as well as anyone coming to the Discworld for the first time.
Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
Discworld lives on in Unseen Academicals, the latest novel from Terry Pratchett. Delivering the trademark insight and humor readers the world over have come to expect from the purely funniest English writer since Wodehouse (Washington Post Book World), Unseen Academicals focuses on the wizards at Ankh-Morporks Unseen University, who are reknowned for many thingssagacity, magic, and their love of teatimeas they attempt to conquer athletics.
Shortlisted for the CILIP Carnegie Medal 2010. Shortlisted for the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize 2009 Hugely entertaining, this is a fully envisaged fantasy adventure, which makes serious points about the importance of the past from the master storyteller and author of the hugely popular Discworld series. Survival! Mau’s world is bowled over and swept away by a towering Tsunami. His past life has vanished and he must build a new life with the scraps he has left. Luckily, someone else has survived too and soon Daphne, or Trouser-Man as Mau calls her, are creating a new Nation building on the bits of knowledge from the past which won’t die away. The novel has been adapted for the stage – Olivier Theatre at The National Theatre in London - by the controversial playwright Mark Ravenhill. Nation will be the National’s family show opening in November 2009, following the success of previous family-friendly productions, His Dark Materials, Coram Boy and War Horse. Described by National Theatre Artistic Director Nicholas Hytner as “a wonderful book and, I suspect, perfect for an Olivier adaptation”, Nation is set on a desert island following a tsunami which wiped out most of the population.
NOW UPDATED to include material on the Discworld books up to Raising Steam. Most of us grow up having always known to touch wood or cross our fingers, and what happens when a princess kisses a frog or a boy pulls a sword from a stone, yet sadly some of these things are now beginning to be forgotten. Legends, myths, fairytales: our world is made up of the stories we told ourselves about where we came from and how we got there. It is the same on Discworld, except that beings which on Earth are creatures of the imagination - like vampires, trolls, witches and, possibly, gods - are real, alive and in some cases kicking on the Disc. In The Folklore of Discworld, Terry Pratchett teams up with leading British folklorist Jacqueline Simpson to take an irreverent yet illuminating look at the living myths and folklore that are reflected, celebrated and affectionately libelled in the uniquely imaginative universe of Discworld.
Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt, which worries him, too. As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed for ever. Because the thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
The sea has taken everything.Thirteen-year-old Mau is the only one left after a giant wave sweeps his island village away. But when much is taken, something is returned, and somewhere in the jungle, Daphnea girl from the other side of the globeis the sole survivor of a ship destroyed by the same wave.Together, the two confront the aftermath of catastrophe. And slowly, other refugees arrivechildren without parents, mothers without babies, husbands without wivesall of them hungry and all of them frightened. As Mau and Daphne struggle to keep the small band safe and fed, they defy ancestral spirits, challenge death himself, and uncover a long-hidden secret that literally turns the world upside down . . . .Internationally revered storyteller Terry Pratchett presents a breathtaking adventure of survival and discovery, and of the courage required to forge new beliefs.
Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest. He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches, and he's not sure there is a right side. There's the witches - young Agnes who is really in two minds about everything, Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg who is far too knowing ... and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble. And the vampires are intelligent - not easily got rid of with a garlic enema or going to the window, grasping the curtains and saying 'I don't know about you, but isn't it a bit stuffy in here?' They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future. Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.
It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not to wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mint runs at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies. What he should be doing is . . . Making Money!
To the thousands of tiny nomes living under the floorboards of a large department Store, there is no Outside. No Day or Night, no Sun or Rain. They're just daft old legends. Until they hear the devastating news that the Store is to be demolished . . . And so their journey begins. From the store to an abandoned quarry - where they find the monster Jekub - and on to a place where they must steal one of those space shuttle things, all the nomes want is to get home again. They don't mean to cause any trouble . . . A magnificent trilogy of tales about about a race of little people struggling to survive in a world full of humans. From Carnegie Medal-winning author, Terry Pratchett.
We thought it was essential to have at least one Terry Pratchett novel in our launch of our teenage and young adult category ‘NewGenâ. This one is Pratchett at his side-splitting best – itâs funny, itâs unputdownable and no one else writes quite like and has the imagination of this great man. Thereâs a risk that theyâll never be spring again when the spirit of winter falls in love with Tiffany Aching, a young witch who had acted out of place. With help from friends, Tiffany must sort everything out if she wants to make sure that flowers will bloom again. A beautiful fantasy from a prize-winning storyteller.
It's an offer you can't refuse. Who would not wish to be the man in charge of Ankh-Morpork's Royal Mint and the bank next door? It's a job for life. But, as former con-man Moist von Lipwig is learning, the life is not necessarily for long. The Chief Cashier is almost certainly a vampire. There's something nameless in the cellar (and the cellar itself is pretty nameless), it turns out that the Royal Mintruns at a loss. A 300 year old wizard is after his girlfriend, he's about to be exposed as a fraud, but the Assassins Guild might get him first. In fact lot of people want him dead Oh. And every day he has to take the Chairman for walkies. Everywhere he looks he's making enemies. What he should be doing is . . . Making Money!
Postmaster general Moist von Lipwig, former arch-swindler and confidence man, has exceeded all expectations in running the Ankh-Morpork Post Office. So it's somewhat disconcerting when Lord Vetinari summons Moist to the palace and asks, "e;Tell me, Mr. Lipwig, would you like to make some real money?"e;Vetinari isn't talking about wages. He's referring to the Royal Mint of Ankh-Morpork that has run on the hereditary employment of the Men of the Sheds, who do make money in their spare time. Unfortunately, it costs more than a penny to make a penny, so the whole process seems somewhat counter-intuitive.But before Moist has time to fully consider Vetinari's question, fate answers it for him. Now he's not only making money, but enemies, too; he's got to spring a prisoner from jail, break into his own bank vault, stop the new manager from licking his face and, above all, find out where all the gold has goneotherwise, his life in banking, while very exciting, is going to be really, really short . . .
A short but perfectly formed complete Discworld novel, fully illustrated in lavish colour throughout, THE LAST HERO is an essential part of any Discworld collection. It stars the legendary Cohen the Barbarian, a legend in his own lifetime. Cohen can remember when a hero didn't have to worry about fences and lawyers and civilisation, and when people didn't tell you off for killing dragons. But he can't always remember, these days, where he put his teeth... So now, with his ancient sword and his new walking stick and his old friends - and they're very old friends - Cohen the Barbarian is going on one final quest. He's going to climb the highest mountain in the Discworld and meet his gods. The last hero in the world is going to return what the first hero stole. With a vengeance. That'll mean the end of the world, if no one stops him in time.
William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes. William just wants to get at THE TRUTH. Unfortunately, everyone else wants to get at William. And it's only the third edition... The Truth is Terry Pratchett's 25th Discworld novel.
ALA Best Fiction for Young Adults * ALA Booklist Editors' Choice * ALA Notable Children's BookPratchetts unique blend of comedy and articulate insight is at its vibrant best. Full of rich humor, wisdom, and eventfulness. Horn Book (starred review)By beloved and bestselling Terry Pratchett, this is the third in a series of Discworld novels starring the young witch Tiffany Aching.When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring.Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.
Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it.All he wants is his three wishes granted.Nothing fancy - to be immortal, rule the world, have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him, the usual stuff.But instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage.With them on his side, Eric's in for a ride through space and time that is bound to make him wish (quite fervently) again - this time that he'd never been born.
Sam Vimes is a man on the run. Yesterday he was a duke, a chief of police and the ambassador to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald.Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war.But there are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up. Sam Vimes is out of time, out of luck and already out of breath . . .
Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest.He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches, and he's not sure there is a right side.There's the witches - young Agnes who is really in two minds about everything, Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg who is far too knowing ... and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble.And the vampires are intelligent - not easily got rid of with a garlic enema or going to the window, grasping the curtains and saying 'I don't know about you, but isn't it a bit stuffy in here?' They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future.Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.
It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. There's snow, there're robins, there're trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys... He's gone.Susan the governess has got to find him before morning, otherwise the sun won't rise. And unfortunately her only helpers are a raven with an eyeball fixation, the Death of Rats and an oh god of hangovers.Worse still, someone is coming down the chimney. This time he's carrying a sack instead of a scythe, but there's something regrettably familiar...Ho. Ho. Ho. It's true what they say.'You'd better watch out...'
'Sorry?' said Carrot. If it's just a thing, how can it commit murder? A sword is a thing' - he drew his own sword; it made an almost silken sound - 'and of course you can't blame a sword if someone thrust it at you, sir.'For members of the City Watch, life consists of troubling times, linked together by periods of torpid inactivity. Now is one such troubling time. People are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene. Is there ever a circumstance in which you can blame the weapon not the murderer? Such philosophical questions are not the usual domain of the city's police, but they're going to have to start learning fast...
'Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn't treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you've got to know where the story ends.'That's the problem when you let real life get in the way of a good story. You shouldn't let it happen. Especially when a good story involves three witches, including a fairy godmother, travelling to a faraway land to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince. It looks as though a happy ending may be averted before catastrophe strikes. But unfortunately the forces of good are up against a Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse...
'Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.'Religion is a controversial business in the Discworld. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods. Who come in all shapes and sizes. In such a competitive environment, there is a pressing need to make one's presence felt. And it's certainly not remotely helpful to be reduced to be appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book. In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast. Preferably one who won't ask too many questions...
'A foot on the neck is nine points of the law'There are many who say that the art of diplomacy is an intricate and complex dance between two informed partners, determined by an elaborate set of elegant and unwritten rules. There are others who maintain that it's merely a matter of who carries the biggest stick. Like when a large, heavily fortified and armoured empire makes a faintly menacing request of a much smaller, infinitely more cowardly neighbour. It would be churlish, if not extremely dangerous, not to comply - particularly if all they want is a wizard, and they don't specify whether competence is an issue...
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot.Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. It plays by different rules. Certainly it refuses to succumb to the quaint notion that universes are ruled by pure logic and the harmony of numbers.But just because the Disc is different doesn't mean that some things don't stay the same. Its very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the arrival of the first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land. But if the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death is a spectacularly inept wizard, a little logic might turn out to be a very good idea...The Colour of Magic is the first novel in Terry Pratchett's acclaimed Discworld series, of which some 20 million copies have been sold. This special hardcover edition is reissued to commemorate the twenty-first anniversary of its first publication by Colin Smythe Limited in 1983. Since then the Discworld has spawned a further thirty-one titles and become one of the most popular and celebrated sequences in English literature.
'Death has to happen. Tha'ts what bein' alive is all about. You're alive, and then you're dead. It can't just stop happening.'But it can. And it has. So what happens after death is now less of a philosophical question than a question of actual reality. On the disc, as here, they need Death. If Death doesn't come for you, then what are you supposed to do in the meantime? You can't have the undead wandering about like lost souls. There's no telling what might happen, particularly when they discover that life really is only for the living...
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.'Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse - and indeed treasury - is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. And particularly when your only visible means of support is a recently acquired qualification from the Guild of Assassins where running a kingdom and basic financial acumen were not prerequisites for course entry...
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.There are some situations where the correct response is to display the sort of ignorance which happily and wilfully flies in the face of the facts. In this case, the birth of a baby girl, born a wizard - by mistake. Everybody knows that there's no such thing as a female wizard. But now it's gone and happened, there's nothing much anyone can do about it. Let the battle of the sexes begin...
Sam Vimes is a man on the run. Yesterday he was a duke, a chief of police and the ambassador to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. But there are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up. Sam Vimes is out of time, out of luck and already out of breath . . .
Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All he wants is his three wishes granted.Nothing fancy - to be immortal, rule the world, have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him, the usual stuff. But instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage. With them on his side, Eric's in for a ride through space and time that is bound to make him wish (quite fervently) again - this time that he'd never been born.
It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. There's snow, there're robins, there're trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys... He's gone. Susan the governess has got to find him before morning, otherwise the sun won't rise. And unfortunately her only helpers are a raven with an eyeball fixation, the Death of Rats and an oh god of hangovers. Worse still, someone is coming down the chimney. This time he's carrying a sack instead of a scythe, but there's something regrettably familiar... Ho. Ho. Ho. It's true what they say. 'You'd better watch out...'
Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
SAYING IT WITH FROZEN ROSES AND ICEBERGS . . . Tiffany Aching leaps into a dance - and suddenly the spirit of winter is in love with her. He's showering her with snowflakes and offering her a crown of ice - which is creepy, but also just a little bit . . . cool. Now she's dancing to his tune. She can't change the steps. But unless Tiffany can work out how to deal with the Wintersmith, there will never be another springtime . . . FROM MASTER STORYTELLER TERRY PRATCHETT
Read by Tony Robinson 'Anything you do in the past changes the future.The tiniest little actions have huge consequences.You might tread on an ant now and it might entirely prevent someone from being born in the future.' There's nothing like the issue of evolution to get under the skin of academics.Especially when those same academics are by chance or bad judgement deposited at a critical evolutionary turning point when one wrong move could have catastrophic results for the future. Unfortunately in the hands of such an inept and cussed group of individuals, the sensitive issue of causality is sadly only likely to receive the same scant respect that they show to one another...
Read by Tony Robinson 'Neighbours... hah. People'd live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear.' Throughout history, there's always been a perfectly good reason to start a war. Never more so if it is over a 'strategic' piece of old rock in the middle of nowhere. It is after all every citizen's right to bear arms to defend what they consider to be their own. Even if it isn't. And in such pressing circumstances, you really shouldn't let small details like the absence of an army or indeed the money to finance one get in the way of a righteous fight with all the attendant benefits of out-and-out nationalism...
A sumptuous illustrated journey through Terry Pratchett's DISCWORLD; a companion volume to THE LAST HERO In THE ART OF DISCWORLD, Terry Pratchett takes us on a guided tour of the Discworld, courtesy of his favourite Discworld artist, Paul Kidby. Following on from THE LAST HERO, THE ART OF DISCWORLD is a lavish 112-page large format, sumptuously illustrated look at all things Discworldian. Terry Pratchett provides the written descriptions while Paul Kidby illustrates the world that has made Pratchett one of the best-selling authors of all time. Here you will find favourites old and new: the City Watch, including Vimes, Carrot and Angua, the three witches - Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick - and the denizens of the Unseen University Library, not forgetting the Librarian, of course. They're all here in sumptuous colour, together with the places: Ankh-Morpork, Lancre, Uberwald and more ... No Discworld fan will want to be without this beautiful gift book.
Other children get given xylophones. Susan just had to ask her grandfather to take his vest off. Yes. There's a Death in the family.It's hard to grow up normally when Grandfather rides a white horse and wields a scythe - especially when you have to take over the family business, and everyone mistakes you for the Tooth Fairy. And especially when you have to face the new and addictive music that has entered Discworld. It's lawless. It changes people. It's called Music With Rocks In. It's got a beat and you can dance to it, but... It's alive. And it won't fade away.
The show must go on, as murder, mayhem and music run riot in the night The Opera House, Ankh-Morpork...A huge, rambling building, where masked figures and hooded shadows do wicked deeds in the wings...Where dying the death on stage is a little bit more than a metaphor...Where innocent young sopranos are lured to their fateful destiny by an evil mastermind in a hideously deformed evening dress... Where... ...There's a couple of old ladies in pointy hats eating peanuts in the gods and looking up at the big chandelier and saying things like: 'There's an accident waiting to happen if ever I saw one.' Yes...Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, the Discworld's greatest witches, are back for an innocent night at the opera. So there's going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evening's entertainment, with murders you can really hum...)
Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o'clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read 'Where's My Cow?', with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
Featured on The Book Show on Sky Arts on 1 April 2010. A writer who had more titles on the BBC’s Big Read Top 100 than any other living author, only Charles Dickens matched him. At the start Pratchett was categorised comic fantasy for he sets his Discworld books in an alternative universe and peoples them with witches, wizards and the like. It is a stage upon which he places his players in situations that enables him to mirror our world and therefore pinpoint its faults, idiosyncratic traits, ludicrous bureaucracy or just plain prejudices, injustices, stupidity and the like, i.e. he has developed into one of the most important satirists writing today. This astute masterpiece tears into the postal service. Truth did the same for the newspaper industry. Monstrous Regiment is one of the best books on war and gender you are likely to come across. He is a man who needs reading. His next Discworld, Thud, comes into hardback at the same time.Comparison: Jasper Fforde, Douglas Adams, Robert Rankin.Similar this month: None but try Haruki Murakami or Stephen Donaldson.
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch will be damned if he lets anyone disturb his city's always tentative peace -- and that includes a rabble-rousing dwarf from the sticks who's been stirring up trouble on the eve of the anniversary of one of Discworld's most infamous historical events.Centuries earlier, in a hellhole called Koom Valley, trolls met dwarfs in bloody combat. Though nobody's quite sure why they fought or who actually won, each species still bears the cultural scars and views the other with simmering animosity. Lately, an influential dwarf, Grag Hamcrusher, has been fomenting unrest among Ankh-Morpork's more diminutive citizens. And it doesn't help matters when the pint-size provocateur is discovered beaten to death ... with a troll club lying nearby.Vimes knows the well-being of his city depends on his ability to solve the Hamcrusher homicide. But there's more than one corpse waiting for him in the vast mine network the dwarfs have been excavating beneath Ankh-Morpork's streets. A deadly puzzle is pulling Sam Vimes deep into the muck and mire of superstition, hatred, and fear -- and perhaps all the way to Koom Valley itself.Performed by Stephen Briggs
Read by Tony Robinson. 'What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the stone in the first place.' Fate is a word that springs to the lips when to call something coincidence seems mealy mouthed. Destiny is another such. But the problem with destiny is, of course, that she is not always careful where she points her finger. One minute you might be minding your own business on a normal if not spectacular career path, the next you might be in the frame for the big job, like saving the world...
Read by Tony Robinson. 'Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's a miracle.' Religion is a controversial business in the Discworld. Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods. Who come in all shapes and sizes. In such a competitive environment, there is a pressing need to make one's presence felt. And it's certainly not remotely helpful to be reduced to be appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone's book. In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast. Preferably one who won't ask too many questions...
Read by Tony Robinson. 'Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn't treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you've got to know where the story ends.' That's the problem when you let real life get in the way of a good story. You shouldn't let it happen. Especially when a good story involves three witches, including a fairy godmother, travelling to a faraway land to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince. It looks as though a happy ending may be averted before catastrophe strikes. But unfortunately the forces of good are up against a Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse...
Something is coming after Tiffany . . . Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic. She expects spells and magic - not chores and ill-tempered goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this! What Tiffany doesn't know is that an insidious, disembodied creature is pursuing her. This time, neither Mistress Weatherwax (the greatest witch in the world) nor the fierce, six-inch-high Wee Free Men can protect her. In the end, it will take all of Tiffany's inner strength to save herself . . . if it can be done at all. THE SECOND BOOK IN THE TIFFANY ACHING SEQUENCE
The alchemists of the Discworld have discovered the magic of the silver screen. But what is the dark secret of Holy Wood hill? It's up to Victor Tugelbend ( Can't sing. Can't dance. Can handle a sword a little. ) and Theda Withel ( I come from a little town you've probably never heard of ) to find out... Moving Pictures, the ninth Discworld novel is a gloriously funny saga set against the background of a world gone mad!
This is where the dragons went. They lie...not dead, not asleep, but...dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key... Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel - and after this, dragons will never be the same again!
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.' Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse - and indeed treasury - is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. And particularly when your only visible means of support is a recently acquired qualification from the Guild of Assassins where running a kingdom and basic financial acumen were not prerequisites for course entry...
World war breaks out in Discworld play script Discworld goes to war, with armies of sardines, warriors, fishermen, squid and at least one very camp follower. As two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch faces unpleasant foes who are out to get him...and that's just the people on his side. The enemy might be even worse. Jingo makes the World Cup look like a friendly five-a-side. Jingo was the twenty-first in Terry Pratchett's phenomenally successful Discworld series and the eighth title to be adapted by Stephen Briggs and published as a play script by Methuen,; Eighth great stage adaptation by Stephen Briggs of Terry Pratchett's best-selling novel; Pratchett has sold over 27 million books worldwide and has been translated into 27 languages
Stage adaptation of the latest Discworld blockbuster Moist von Lipwig was a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet. It was a tough decision. But he's got to see that the mail gets though, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer. Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too. Maybe it'll take a criminal to succeed where honest men have failed, or maybe it's a death sentence either way. Or perhaps there' s a shot at redemption in the mad world of the mail, waiting for a man who's prepared to push the envelope...; Brilliant stage adaptation by Stephen Briggs of Terry Pratchett's latest best-selling novel; Pratchett has sold over 27 million books worldwide and has been translated into 27 languages
Who would have believed back in 1985 that this first introduction into the madcap Discworld which satirised fantasy novels and introduced us to some fantastic characters would turn into the Discworld series numbering some thirty works. If you have wondered where to start in this huge series (which need not be read in order) then start here and read The Light Fantastic straight after it. They are great books. A "Piece of Passion" from the publisher... ‘The very first novel in what turned into the celebrated, magisterial Discworld series, this novel was first published by Corgi in 1985. Although the more recent novels in the series have become more layered, satirical and thoughtful (number thirty-seven, Unseen Academicals, is the most recent) The Colour of Magic must remain one of my all-time favourites, for its soaring inventiveness, sparky parody and madcap humour – and for introducing us in the first place to that flat World so very different from, yet so very like our own. ' Marianne Velmans, Publishing Director at Transworld
Arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig never believed his crimes were hanging offenses -- until he found himself with a noose around his neck, dropping through a trap door, and falling into ... a government job? Getting the moribund Postal Service up and running again, however, may be an impossible task. Worse, the new Postmaster could swear the mail is talking to him. Worst of all, it means taking on the gargantuan, money-hungry Grand Trunk clacks communication monopoly and its bloodthirsty piratical head, Mr. Reacher Gilt.But it says on the building NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLO M OF NI T ... Inspiring words (admittedly, some of the bronze letters have been stolen), and for once in his wretched life Moist is going to fight. And if the bold and impossible are what's called for, he'll do it -- to move the mail, continue breathing, get the girl, and deliver that invaluable commodity that everyone requires: hope.Performed by Stephen Briggs
Armed only with a frying pan and her common sense, Tiffany Aching, a young witch-to-be, is all that stands between the monsters of Fairyland and the warm, green Chalk country that is her home. Forced into Fairyland to seek her kidnapped brother, Tiffany allies herself with the Chalks local Nac Mac Feegle -- aka the Wee Free Men -- a clan of sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men who are as fierce as they are funny. Together, they battle through an eerie and ever-shifting landscape, fighting brutal flying fairies, dream-spinning dromes, and grimhounds -- black dogs with eyes of fire and teeth of razors -- before ultimately confronting the Queen of the Elves, absolute ruler of a world in which reality intertwines with nightmare. And in the final showdown, Tiffany must face her cruel power alone...In a riveting narrative equal parts suspense and humor, Carnegie Medalist Terry Pratchett returns to his internationally popular Discworld with a breath-taking tale certain to leave fans, new and old, enthralled.
War has come to Discworldagain.And, to no one's great surprise, the conflict centers around the small, insufferably arrogant, strictly fundamentalist duchy of Borogravia, which has long prided itself on its ability to beat up on its neighbors. This time, however, it's Borogravia that's getting its long-overdue comeuppance, which has left the country severely drained of young men.Ever since her brother Paul marched off to battle a year ago, Polly Perks has been running The Duchess, her family's inn -- even though the revered national deity, Nuggan, has decreed that female ownership of a business is an Abomination. To keep The Duchess in the family, Polly must find her missing sibling. So she cuts off her hair, dons masculine garb, and sets out to join him in this man's army.Polly is afraid that someone will see through her disguise; a fear that proves groundless when the legendary Sergeant Jackrum accepts her without question. Or perhaps the sergeant is too desperate to discriminate -- which would explain why a vampire, a troll, a zombie, a religious fanatic, and two uncommonly close "e;friends are also eagerly welcomed into the fighting fold. Soon, Polly finds herself wondering about the myriad peculiarities of her new brothers-in-arms. It would appear that Polly "e;Ozzer Perks is not the only grunt with a secret.
Tiffany Aching -- the boldest heroine ever to swing a frying pan against the forces of evil -- is beginning her apprenticeship in magic. She expects to work hard, learn spells, and become a witch. She doesn't expect to find herself doing chores, caring for the careless, and trying to outthink an ill-tempered nanny goat. There must be more to witchcraft than this!But as Tiffany pursues her calling, an insidious, disembodied creature pursues Tiffany. When it strikes, neither Mistress Weatherwax (the greatest witch in the world) nor the six-inch-high Wee Free Men (the greatest thieves in the world) can save her ...Outrageous comedy blends with pulse-racing suspense in this compelling sequel to The Wee Free Men.Performed by Stephen Briggs
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novels Set in Ankh-Morpork one of the most thoroughly imagined cities in fantasy, Night Watch is the story of Sam Vimes, running hero of the Guards sequence, who finds himself cast back in time to the Ankh-Morpork of his youth. With a psychopath from his own time rising in the vile ranks of the Cable Street Unmentionables complicating things, Vimes has to ensure that history takes its course so that he will have the right future to go back to, and to keep his younger self alive. One of the funniest English authors alive (Independent)
A new stage adaptation of one of Pratchett's best-selling novels The Monstrous Regiment in question is made up of a vampire (reformed and off the blood, thank you), a troll, Igor (who is only too happy to sew you a new leg if you aren't too particular about previous ownership), a collection of misfits and a young woman discovers that a pair of socks shoved down her pants is a good way to open up doors in a man's army. One of the funniest English authors alive (Independent)
'What shall we do?' said Twoflower. 'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival. When the very fabric of time and space are about to be put through the wringer - in this instance by the imminent arrival of a very large and determinedly oncoming meteorite - circumstances require a very particular type of hero. Sadly what the situation does not need is a singularly inept wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world. Equally it does not need one well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind of its own. Which is a shame because that's all there is...
Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle. Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king cruelly murdered, his throne usurped by his ambitious cousin. A child heir and the crown of the kingdom, both missing. The omens are not auspicious for the new incumbent, for whom ascending this tainted throne is a more complicated affair than you might imagine, particularly when the blood on your hands just won't wash off and you're facing a future with knives in it...
All this books and stuff, that isn't what it should all be about. What we need is real wizardry. All is not well within the Unseen University. The endemic politics of the place have ensured that it has finally got what it wished for: the most powerful wizard on the disc. Which could mean that the death of all wizardry is at hand. And the world is going to end, depending on whom you listen to. Unless of course one inept wizard can take the University's most precious artefact, the very embodiment of magic itself, and deliver it halfway across the disc to safety...
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. There are some situations where the correct response is to display the sort of ignorance which happily and wilfully flies in the face of the facts. In this case, the birth of a baby girl, born a wizard - by mistake. Everybody knows that there's no such thing as a female wizard. But now it's gone and happened, there's nothing much anyone can do about it. Let the battle of the sexes begin...
Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome. For Mort however, it is about to become one of the tools of his trade. From henceforth, Death is no longer going to be the end, merely the means to an end. He has received an offer he can't refuse. As Death's apprentice he'll have free board, use of the company horse and being dead isn't compulsory. It's the dream job until he discovers that it can be a killer on his love life...
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot. Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. It plays by different rules. Certainly it refuses to succumb to the quaint notion that universes are ruled by pure logic and the harmony of numbers. But just because the Disc is different doesn't mean that some things don't stay the same. Its very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the arrival of the first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land. But if the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death is a spectacularly inept wizard, a little logic might turn out to be a very good idea...
If ever there was a Discworld novel to introduce new readers to Pratchett’s brilliance, this is it. And don’t worry if you aren’t familiar – try this and then work through the 30+ others.
'WE SEE YOU. NOW WE ARE YOU . . .' No real witch would casually step out of their body, leaving it empty. Tiffany Aching does. And there's something just waiting for a handy body to take over. Something ancient and horrible, which can't die. To deal with it, Tiffany has to go to the heart of what makes her a witch. Get past the 'I can't'. But even with the help of the Nac Mac Feegle - the rowdiest pictsies on the Disc, who like facing enormous odds - she still might not be able to win herself back . . . FROM MASTER STORYTELLER TERRY PRATCHETT
A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle - aka the Wee Free Men - a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men. Together they must face headless horsemen, ferocious grimhounds, terrifying dreams come true, and ultimately the sinister Queen of the Elves herself . . . THE FIRST BOOK IN THE TIFFANY ACHING SEQUENCE
Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her hair and wearing trousers was easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape took more time ... And now she's enlisted in the army, and searching for her lost brother. But there's a war on. There's always a war on. And Polly and her fellow recruits are suddenly in the thick of it, without any training, and the enemy is hunting them. All they have on their side is the most artful sergeant in the army and a vampire with a lust for coffee. Well ... they have the Secret. And as they take the war to the heart of the enemy, they have to use all the resources of ... the Monstrous Regiment.
EVERY LAND NEEDS ITS OWN WITCH . . . Up on the Wold, there's a monster in the river and a headless horseman in the drive. And now Granny Aching has gone, there's only young Tiffany Aching left to guard the boundaries. To stop . . . things getting through. It's her land. Her duty. But it's amazing how useful a horde of unruly pictsies can be - as long as they are pointed in the right direction and can stop fighting each other first . . . FROM MASTER STORYTELLER TERRY PRATCHETT
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck... Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion. There's a problem: if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future... A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution. Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a Hard-boiled Egg!
An engaging classroom playscript. Johnny Maxwell, visiting the local cemetery, discovers that he can see the dead. He can talk to them, too - much to his friends' amazement. So when the news breaks that the local council plans to sell the cemetery to a property developer, Johnny learns that there are some things in life (and death) that are worth fighting for...
An engaging classroom playscript. Maurice is no ordinary cat. He's amazing. He can think, he can talk...and he has an amazing scam going. And all he needs to pull it off is an army of intelligent rats and one stupid-looking kid. But when his gang enter Bad Blintz, the town they have decided to con next, they soon realize that all is not as it should be - and decide to investigate. Three squads of rats spread out under the town, their mission to dismantle traps, bury poison, do some serious widdling, and to find out exactly what those resident rat-catchers are up to...
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck... Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion. There's a problem: if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future... A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution. Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a Hard-boiled Egg!
From bestselling author Terry Pratchett, everything you need to know to identify the real, unadulterated cat. The Unadulterated Cat is becoming an endangered species as more and more of us settle for those boring mass-produced cats the ad-men sell us - the pussies that purr into their gold-plated food bowls on the telly. But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one. For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars... or appear on Christmas cards... or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away...
