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Ian Allen - Author

About the Author

Ian Allen is a father of three teenagers and a funny man indeed. He has been a freelance editor from Staffordshire - recently voted England's least amusing county - for the past 17 years. During that time Ian has worked on hundreds of books, a handful of which were even intended to be comical. Ian is qualified to degree-level in Data Processing, which is just hilarious. Ian is perhaps best known as being the compiler of The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes , also by Portico.

Featured books by Ian Allen

Grumpy Old Git Jokes Because Life's Not All Fun, Fun, Fun

Grumpy Old Git Jokes Because Life's Not All Fun, Fun, Fun

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 05/06/2014

Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers - 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git. Word count: 20,000

Dad Dancing A Guide for Embarrassing Dads Everywhere

Dad Dancing A Guide for Embarrassing Dads Everywhere

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 05/06/2014

It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one. Word count: 20-30,000

Other books by Ian Allen

The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes 2 Because Your Dad Still Thinks He's Hilarious

The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes 2 Because Your Dad Still Thinks He's Hilarious

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 08/01/2019

What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove. You can't keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you've ever heard. And we've gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes 2 is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh - or, more likely, a groan - with Dad. Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles. What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards. Word count: 30,000

Dad Disasters

Dad Disasters

Author: Ian Allen Format: eBook Release Date: 12/05/2016

Disasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of the Hindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. - not funny at all. But Dad Disasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn't which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him.

Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes Because Dads don't know when to stop

Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes Because Dads don't know when to stop

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 07/05/2015

What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove. You can't keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you've ever heard. And we've gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh - or, more likely, a groan - with Dad. Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles. What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards. Word count: 30,000

Dad Disasters When Dads Go Bad

Dad Disasters When Dads Go Bad

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 21/07/2014

Disasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of the Hindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. - not funny at all. But Dad Disasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn't which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him.

Grumpy Old Git Jokes Because Life's Not All Fun, Fun, Fun

Grumpy Old Git Jokes Because Life's Not All Fun, Fun, Fun

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 05/06/2014

Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers - 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git. Word count: 20,000

Dad Dancing A Guide for Embarrassing Dads Everywhere

Dad Dancing A Guide for Embarrassing Dads Everywhere

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 05/06/2014

It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one. Word count: 20-30,000

The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes Because your dad thinks he's hilarious

The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes Because your dad thinks he's hilarious

Author: Ian Allen Format: Hardback Release Date: 17/05/2012

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that `it's in the way that you tell them', Dads - for the best part of forever - have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it's telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers - but don't tell your dad that, it'll only encourage him!

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