Pam Ayres - Author

About the Author

Pam Ayres, our much-loved comedienne and broadcaster, has entertained us for almost 40 years since winning Opportunity Knocks in 1975. Her series on BBC Radio 4 is Ayres on the Air, and she has also appeared as a guest on Just A Minute, Loose Ends and Saturday Live. She is one of the UK’s top-selling comediennes with her theatre shows. Pam’s poetry collections include The Works, With These Hands and Surgically Enhanced, and The Necessary Aptitude is her memoir of growing up in Berkshire during the post-war years. Pam has appeared three times for HM Queen Elizabeth, and was awarded the MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours of 2004. Pam and her husband have lived in Gloucestershire for over 25 years, where they have a smallholding with cattle, sheep, bees, chickens and guinea fowl.

Featured books by Pam Ayres

You Made Me Late Again! My New Collection

You Made Me Late Again! My New Collection

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 26/02/2015

In 'The Swifts' and 'The Pyracantha Anthem' she marvels at nature, while 'A Patient's Prayer' and 'Litter Moron' offer wry views on Modern Britain. From the dog being afraid of the toaster to your son leaving home for university; and from the search for that perfect swimsuit to becoming a gran for the first time - Pam's poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal.

Other books by Pam Ayres

The Last Hedgehog

The Last Hedgehog

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Hardback Release Date: 03/05/2018

'A national treasure' Daily Express To mark and celebrate National Hedgehog Awareness Week, Pam Ayres has written a less-than-fond farewell from perspective of the `last hedgehog left on earth' - a delightful, hilarious and thought-provoking elegy to that most beloved inhabitant of the British countryside, the common hedgehog. Pam Ayres' spiky and wonderful creation reminds us that unless we take steps to prevent it, they will soon be far from `common' indeed: beautifully illustrated by Alice Tait, the poem The Hedgehog sees our hero tell of all the terrible ends his family come to at our own hands - and exactly what we can still do to keep them alive, and see them thrive once more. 'The Last Hedgehog is a little book, but it's an important book and it's a profound book' Graham Norton

You Made Me Late Again! My New Collection

You Made Me Late Again! My New Collection

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 26/02/2015

In 'The Swifts' and 'The Pyracantha Anthem' she marvels at nature, while 'A Patient's Prayer' and 'Litter Moron' offer wry views on Modern Britain. From the dog being afraid of the toaster to your son leaving home for university; and from the search for that perfect swimsuit to becoming a gran for the first time - Pam's poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal.

The Necessary Aptitude A Memoir

The Necessary Aptitude A Memoir

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 30/08/2012

'Next, I applied to work in the accounts department, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: Lacks the necessary aptitude. ' Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively. In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics... Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

The Necessary Aptitude A Memoir

The Necessary Aptitude A Memoir

Author: Pam Ayres Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 15/09/2011

'NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: Lacks the necessary aptitude. ' Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively. In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics... Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

Necessary Aptitude

Necessary Aptitude

Author: Pam Ayres Format: eBook Release Date: 15/09/2011

NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: "e;Lacks the necessary aptitude."e;'Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively.In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics... Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

Pam Ayres - The Works: The Classic Collection

Pam Ayres - The Works: The Classic Collection

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 18/02/2010

The Works contains 120 of Pam Ayres' best-known poems, including 'The Battery Hen', 'Please Will You Take Your Children Home Before I Do Them In?', 'Sling Another Chair Leg on the Fire, Mother' and, of course, 'Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth'. This edition includes a general introduction by Pam, as well as individual introductions to these classic poems of the seventies and eighties, many of which are now illustrated with specially commissioned line drawings by Susan Hellard. The Works is certain to delight Pam's fans of all ages.

The Broken Woman Studio Collection 2

The Broken Woman Studio Collection 2

Author: Pam Ayres Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 16/10/2008

Writer, entertainer, comedienne, and broadcaster Pam Ayres has been entertaining the nation for years. Here she performs her best-loved later poems, recorded in a studio in 2008. This collection of her most recent wry and witty poems is a must have for any fan. Pam's humorous poems have contributed immeasurably to the wider appeal of all forms of poetry, and her work was featured in a poll of the nations favourite 100 poems.

Surgically Enhanced

Surgically Enhanced

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 06/09/2007

This new collection is a must-have for Pam's many fans - and for anyone who enjoys beautifully crafted stories and poems to make you laugh and make you think. Pam Ayres is one of our most widely-adored poets throughout the world and is nothing less than a national treasure. Her work is popular with fans of all ages, and her wry observations on the peculiarities of modern life will raise a smile from even the most hardened cynic.

Pam Ayres - Ancient and Modern

Pam Ayres - Ancient and Modern

Author: Pam Ayres Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 16/11/2006

Pam Ayres is one of our most popular living poets, and is a national treasure. Here she takes a wry look at life and all its peculiarities in her own inimitable style, in this live recording of her hilarious, thought-provoking one-woman stage show.

Ayres On The Air

Ayres On The Air

Author: Pam Ayres, Peter Reynolds Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 07/02/2005

Writer, poet and broadcaster Pam Ayres has been making her fans smile for more than thirty years since her first television appearance on Opportunity Knocks. This recording is taken from four of Pam's live shows for her BBC Radio 4 series Ayres On The Air, and is packed with her usual mix of comic poetry, prose and droll observations on life. Pam Ayres has recently been 'rediscovered' via her appearances on Radio 4's Just a Minute, That Reminds Me and Loose Ends, and Ayres On The Air has been celebrated on both Pick of the Week and Feedback. She regularly tours both the UK and abroad, performing to sell-out audiences. Here, Pam can be heard delighting her public on such topics as holidays, families, ageing and country living. With sketches about being 'Topless at 60', getting shingles up the Orinoco and the joys of buying a tractor; and poems including: 'The Wonderbra', 'Littering', 'Poor Dad' and 'The Voice at the Foot of the Stairs', this collection showcases one of the nation's most popular poets at her very best. 2 CDs. 2 hrs.

They Should Have Asked My Husband

They Should Have Asked My Husband

Author: Pam Ayres Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 11/10/2004

It is over 25 years since writer, entertainer, comedienne, and broadcaster PAM AYRES became a professional entertainer. Here she is recorded performing some of her best-loved poems - and some you won't have heard - in front of a live audience in her delightful new one-woman show. Pam's humorous poems have contributed immeasurably to the wider appeal of all forms of poetry, and her work was featured in a poll of the nation's favourite 100 poems. THEY SHOULD HAVE ASKED MY HUSBAND is a unique chance to hear this much-loved poet performing her best work.

With These Hands A Collection Of Work

With These Hands A Collection Of Work

Author: Pam Ayres Format: Paperback Release Date: 02/02/1998

A collection of the very best poems and sketches from one of Britain's best loved entertainers. WITH THESE HANDS is a collection of witty monologues and poems from Pam's early life in the 1950s, through four years in the WRAF, and marriage and motherhood, to her present busy career as a writer and broadcaster. The pieces are presented together with delightful illustrations by Susan Hellard providing the reader with a beguiling insight into the heart and mind of Pam Ayres.

The Pam Ayres Poetry Collection

The Pam Ayres Poetry Collection

Author: Pam Ayres Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 01/09/1997

Warm and witty, direct and droll, the sharply funny Pam Ayres has been amusing and entertaining her many fans for more than 30 years since her first television appearance on Opportunity Knocks. Her humorous observations of daily life touch a chord with anybody who's ever been bewildered by the exercise craze or has yearned after the vanished Spotted Dick. In this collection, Pam reads over 50 of her best-known and loved poems, including such favourites as 'Oh I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth', 'I'm a Starling...me Darling', 'Will I have to be Sexy at Sixty?', and 'St. Tesco'. Many of the poems include a personal introduction by Pam. 2 CDs. 2 hrs 5 mins.

Ayres on the Air

Ayres on the Air

Author: Pam Ayres Format: eBook Release Date: 01/01/1970

Writer, poet and broadcaster Pam Ayres has been making her fans smile for more than thirty years since her first television appearance on Opportunity Knocks.This recording is taken from four of Pam's live shows for her BBC Radio 4 series Ayres On The Air, and is packed with her usual mix of comic poetry, prose and droll observations on life. Pam Ayres has recently been 'rediscovered' via her appearances on Radio 4's Just a Minute, That Reminds Me and Loose Ends, and Ayres On The Air has been celebrated on both Pick of the Week and Feedback. She regularly tours both the UK and abroad, performing to sell-out audiences. Here, Pam can be heard delighting her public on such topics as holidays, families, ageing and country living. With sketches about being 'Topless at 60', getting shingles up the Orinoco and the joys of buying a tractor; and poems including: 'The Wonderbra', 'Littering', 'Poor Dad' and 'The Voice at the Foot of the Stairs', this collection showcases one of the nation's most popular poets at her very best.

Author Info

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http://www.pamayres.com/

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