Audiobooks narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf

The Tome of Bill Series - Volume 2: Books 5 - 8

"IT’S HARD TO LIVE FOREVER WHEN THE WHOLE WORD WANTS YOU DEAD. Prepare to die screaming with laughter with the final FOUR novels of The Tome of Bill series – over 50 hours of laugh-out-loud horror comedy. Gamer turned vampire Bill Ryder would rather play D&D than take this supernatural shit seriously. Too bad the ancient horrors threatening the world don’t appreciate his attitude. Includes: GODDAMNED FREAKY MONSTERS (Book 5) Three months have passed since Bill Ryder disappeared. Now he’s back. Too bad, civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. HALF A PRAYER (Book 6) An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed Bill’s way. As the world crumbles around him, Bill must rise to the destiny he’s been trying so hard to deny. THE WICKED DEAD (Book 7) Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a group of D&D dorks, and a pregnant witch. THE LAST COVEN (Book 8) A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy fulfilled. It’s finally time for Bill to master his powers and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness. Join Bill in these laugh-out-loud tales of terrifying monsters and middle-fingered mayhem. If you enjoy The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple series, or The Preternatural Chronicles, then The Tome of Bill series will keep you entertained from dusk til dawn! And once you're finished, don't forget to check out BILL OF THE DEAD - the hilarious continuation of Bill Ryder's adventures."

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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Sins of the Past: A Bill of the Dead / False Icons Crossover

"BURYING THE PAST IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Ed Vesser feels trapped by his life - literally. He’s being held prisoner by a would-be world conqueror. All he wants is to escape back to his fiancé, assuming she doesn’t dump his ass when she finds out he’s a vampire. Serena Taylor’s a witch with a knack for technomancy - using her magic to help deliver unreal profit margins. Too bad she’ll need to put in some overtime thanks to long-lost dryads and undead goons breathing down her neck. Now they’re both stuck deep beneath Boston, exploring the ruins of a former vamp stronghold. She’s looking to walk away with intel on the burgeoning vampire nation. He’s simply hoping to walk away. Neither’s going to be easy, especially once they realize they’re not alone. When ancient evil stirs, Ed and Serena will discover they have one thing in common - a burning desire … to stay alive as they learn that some secrets were meant to stay buried."

R.E. Carr, Rick Gualtieri (Author), Andrea Emmes, Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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The Last Coven: A Vampire Comedy Epic Finale

"THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE MIGHT FINALLY BE ONE OF THEM. My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m in way over my head. My problems include an egomaniacal goddess, a supernatural war against the Sasquatch clans, and an end-of-the-world prophecy I’m expected to fulfill. That’s a lot of crap to heap on anyone’s plate, much less an undead programmer from Brooklyn. Sadly, Armageddon isn’t about to give me a breather. The White Mother, queen of all witches, is amassing her forces to exterminate anyone who stands in her way. I need to find a way to stop her army of shapeshifters from tearing the world apart, all while somehow avoiding my predetermined fate of dying at the hands of the woman I love. This is it, no more second chances! It’s finally time to master my powers, sort out my relationship woes, and figure out how to survive this date with destiny. Because if I can’t get my shit together, mankind will be plunged into everlasting darkness, everything will suck, and all of it will be entirely my fault. The Last Coven is the epic conclusion to The Tome of Bill horror comedy series. Full of geeky humor and Bigfoot-sized action, get ready for a nonstop thrill ride of laughter, adventure, and suspense. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable tale of apocalyptic hilarity. Grab your copy today and then be sure to check out the hilarious sequel series - BILL OF THE DEAD! Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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The Wicked Dead: A Horror Comedy Cataclysm

"THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE MUST BECOME ONE OF THEM. My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m told I have an important destiny. I just didn’t expect it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, my old D&D group, and a pregnant witch. Whatever the case, it’s finally time for me to accept the prophecy hanging over my head – stupid as it might be. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, I’ll need to confront an invincible undead warlord. He’s everything I’m not – strong, ruthless, and possessing six-pack abs. Worse, he’s about to unleash a godlike being of unimaginable power. As enemies line up to kick my ass and the vicious beast inside me tries to claw its way out, I’ll need to stand tall and embrace my fate. If I succeed, I might just stop the coming apocalypse. But if not, then an unquenchable evil will arise to curb stomp me, my friends, and everything else I give a damn about. Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy? The Wicked Dead delivers a rollercoaster ride of bloody fight scenes, geeky in-jokes, and breakneck-paced action, offering the perfect vampire must-read for the 21st-century adult. For horror comedy fans who crave humor, suspense, and unforgettable characters, this installment of The Tome of Bill series will sink its teeth straight into your funny bone. Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor Buy The Wicked Dead to see this nerdy vamp fight for his life today!"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Tome of Bill Series - Volume 1: Books 1 - 4

"IT’S HARD TO LIVE FOREVER WHEN EVERYONE WANTS YOU DEAD. Get ready to die laughing with the first FOUR novels of the hilarious Tome of Bill series – over 30 hours of epic horror comedy that will leave you gasping for more. Gamer, geek, and vampire - Bill Ryder was a normal guy. Now he's trying to survive in a world of abnormal horrors. Despite awesome powers, surprising friends, and a Brooklyn-sized attitude; the odds are stacked against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life. BILL THE VAMPIRE Bill Ryder was a dateless geek until he met a girl to die for - so he did. Too bad for him, that was just the beginning of his troubles. SCARY DEAD THINGS One of the most powerful vampires in the world wants Bill Ryder’s head. A pint-sized princess wants the rest of him. Alas, it's not clear which fate is worse. THE MOURNING WOODS A war is brewing between the vampires and bigfoot, ancient enemies since the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed. HOLIER THAN THOU On the eve of war, The Icon – legendary enemy of the vampire race – has arisen. There’s just one small catch: Bill Ryder is in love with her. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it. Join Bill in these laugh-out-loud tales of monsters and middle-fingered mayhem. If you enjoy The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple series, or The Preternatural Chronicles, then you’ll want to sink your teeth into The Tome of Bill. And when you're finished, be sure to check out books 5 - 8 for more of Bill's adventures."

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

Audiobook

Half A Prayer: A Horror Comedy

"TERROR LURKS BELOW AND IT’S ABOUT TO SURFACE. My name is Bill Ryder. With Armageddon rapidly approaching you’d think I’d have my priorities straight, but you’d be wrong. Sidelined from action and with too much time on my hands, I’m stuck obsessing about the ladies in my life, lethal as most of them might be. Too bad it’s a distraction I can ill afford. An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed my way. To make matters worse, I’ve been deemed a traitor by the Draculas, the ruling coven of the vampire nation. With rampaging rock monsters on one side and pissed off vamps on the other, it’s time to pull my head out of my ass. As the world crumbles to pieces around me, I’ll have to find a way to muster my waning courage, master my janky powers, and rise to the destiny I’ve been trying so long to deny. Because if I don’t, then getting my rocks off will be the least of my worries. Half A Prayer takes you on an action-packed journey filled with hilarious twists and spine-chilling encounters. For fans of Shayne Silvers, Jim Butcher, John P Logsdon, or Kevin Hearne, this vampire comedy series is an absolute must-read. Don’t miss out on this thrilling rollercoaster. Start listening today and get ready to die laughing! Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Age: 18+ Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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Goddamned Freaky Monsters: A Horror Comedy Nightmare

"THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE’S TRYING TO STOP THEM. My name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe, buck-ass nude and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause. Escape might be the least of my worries, though. Civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. Mythical monsters, once thought the stuff of legend, are breaking through the veil, intent on terrorizing mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil that’s about to carve a path of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Oh, and did I mention that all of this is my fault? Because it kinda is. My only chance to stop it is to reclaim my life, reconcile with my friends, and muster all the attitude I can – because if I fail then Hell on Earth will become far more than just another stupid saying. Goddamned Freaky Monsters is a hard-hitting vampire comedy that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Fans of The Nate Temple Series, The Dresden Files, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, will want to dive into this hysterical adventure today. Don’t miss out on The Tome of Bill - a thrilling and hilarious escape into a world of monsters, magic, and middle fingers. Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Age: 18+ Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

Audiobook

Bill The Vampire: A Horror Comedy

"THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE’S NOT ONE OF THEM. My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did. Problem is, I didn't stay dead. Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me. It might be because he can’t control me like the rest, or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Either way, he's given me ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast, but I’ll need help if I want to survive. Too bad my roommates are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally’s just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is. Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain. Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire – book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more. If you're a fan of Christopher Moore, Jim Butcher, or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn. Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing. Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a buttload of swearing."

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

Audiobook

A New World - RETURN

"Jack Walker journeyed halfway around the world and completed his daring rescue. He must now return home, traversing a world filled with endless hordes of night runners; the genetically altered, ferocious species that now inhabit the dark recesses left over from the demise of mankind and now dominate the planet. The only things more dominate are the billions of corpses left to rot where they died. It is through this world that Jack must use his special forces training to lead a small group of survivors back home to where there is the faint hope of sanctuary. His training is pushed to the limits as he is confronted with situation after situation coming face to face with the night runners. He must walk that delicate, fine edge between action and keeping his kids out of harm's way; between taking risks and turning away as he continues his quest for survival. Never having walked away from risky situations, Jack must now carefully weigh his decisions as the stakes are much higher. His kids' very safety hangs in the balance, along with the safety of the few remaining survivors. This gripping, action-packed tale tells Jack's story of survival in a post-apocalyptic world filled with peril. Safety is the dream. Nightmare is the reality. A nightmare where danger lurks around every corner."

John O'Brien (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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Holier Than Thou: A Horror Comedy Calamity

"THERE ARE REASONS THE UNDEAD FEAR THE NIGHT. My name’s Bill Ryder and my cold dead heart is all aflutter, metaphorically speaking anyway. See, the girl I want is deadly to me. But the girl who wants me is deadly to everyone else. I’m trapped in a lethal love triangle and it’s about to get worse. On the eve of war, The Icon – prophesized slayer of the vampire race – has appeared. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and I’m caught smack dab in the middle of it. She and I are locked in a cataclysmic collision course with destiny, but there’s one small catch. I’m head over fangs in love with her. Now I find myself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the woman fated to destroy me. Talk about being damned if you do. Unsure of my allies and vastly outnumbered by our enemies, I’ll have to dig deep within myself and find the faith to succeed – because if I fail, it’ll be far more than just my social life that’s screwed. Holier Than Thou, book four in the bestselling Tome of Bill series, is a paranormal dance with death, destiny, and demonic dating life. If you’re a fan of Hunter Blain, Christopher Moore, DM Guay, or Kevin Hearne, then you’ll want to sink your claws into this hilarious vampire comedy series today! Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Age: 18+ Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric douchebag humor, and lots of asshole monsters"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

Audiobook

A New World - CHAOS

"Jack, a sometimes humorous, sometimes philosophical ex-special operations pilot and soldier is one of the few left to struggle through the desolation left in the aftermath; seeking to survive as a new ferocious species emerges from the rubble, hungry and unrelenting. Will his special forces training be enough? Will he be able to keep his children safe and guide the few survivors through perils that now roam the world they once knew? Or will the hordes that now own the night prevail, forever removing the last of mankind from existence? Humankind was once at the top of the food chain. But that has now changed."

John O'Brien (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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The Mourning Woods: A Vampire Comedy Bloodbath

"THREE WORDS: VAMPIRES VERSUS SASQUATCH. My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being undead, I program games for a living. That means I’m mostly content to stay at home, do my job, and not go on stupid-ass adventures. Or at least that was the case. Now, a war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. That’s where I come in. For some inexplicable reason, the leaders of the vampire nation have ordered me to the frozen woods of Canada to broker peace with an army of angry Sasquatches, but that’s not the worst of it. Not only do our enemies want me dead, but some of my allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn, leaving me unsure of who I can trust. I’ll have to rely on my instincts, master my fledgling powers, and kick some bigfoot butt in order to stop this war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods. Experience a hilarious adventure like never before with The Mourning Woods – book three of the bestselling Tome of Bill horror comedy series. If you love The Dresden Files, The Rebellion Chronicles, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, then the Tome of Bill series is sure to trample your funny bone like an angry bigfoot. Don’t miss out! Click Buy Now to join Bill Ryder on this unforgettable quest into horror hilarity today. Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Age: 18+ Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor"

Rick Gualtieri (Author), Christopher John Fetherolf (Narrator)

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Audiobooks Narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf