Audiobooks by Robert Asprin

It's a nightmare when master magician Skeeve and Aahz the Pervect fall into Dreamland ... Massha gets married with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blew ... up. Bunny turns to Skeeve for help when an inter-dimensional beauty contest turns ugly. Reality shows were never quite like this. Contestants hunt down Princess Gloriannamarjolie for a chance to win the greatest treasure in the kingdom. Join Skeeve, Aahz, Massha, Tananda, Bunny, Gleep, the Fairy Godfather, and random myth-ical creatures in eight stories that span the manic MYTH universe. Robert Asprin and Jody Lynn Nye have compiled their favorite tales-and concocted some new ones-for this collection of myth-adventures.

Jody Lynn Nye, Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth-Chief

Skeeve has decided, at long last, to come out of his self-imposed retirement and get back into the problem-solving biz. He confidently expected walk in and take his rightful place as the head of M.Y.T.H., Inc. He didn't expect to have to face off against Aahz for the job. With their friends lending help but showing no favorites, they start a not-so-friendly contest to see who will run the company by taking opposite sides of the next case to walk in the door. Will the legendary partnership survive the battle, or will this be the end of a beautiful friendship?

Jody Lynn Nye, Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Another Fine Myth

Robert Asprin's Classic Fantasy available for the first time in eBook! Cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! A Recipe for Myth-Adventure ... Skeeve is a magician's apprentice (and a wanna-be thief) until an assassin's bolt kills his master, Garkin. Along with Aahz, the green-scaled, purple-tongued demon and master magician summoned by Garkin, he sets out on a quest to get even. The road to vengeance is bound to prove rocky, however, because Skeeve can barely light a candle with his beginning magic, and Aahz has lost his own considerable magical abilities as a consequence of Garkin's summoning spell. Before they can confront the power-mad wizard who ordered Garkin's assassination, they must survive a trip to a weird alternate dimension, encounters with Impish hit-men and a somewhat dull but persistent demon hunter who rides a friendly war unicorn, outwit a sharp-dealing Deevel, and deal with other uncanny enemies and even stranger friends ... all without killing each other in the process! The Green-Haired Lady ... "Relax, handsome," she purred. "You're about to get pounded for offending my honor. You might as well get a little of the sweet along with the bitter." Before I could protest further, she kissed me. Long and warm and sweet, she kissed me. I had never been kissed by anyone except my mother. This was different! The fight, the dragon, Aahz, everything faded from my mind. I was lost in the wonder of that moment. "Hey!" A rough hand fell on my shoulder and pulled us apart. "Is this shrimp bothering you, lady?" The person on the other end of that hand was no taller than I was, but he was twice as broad and had short, twisted tusks protruding from his mouth. His cronies had fanned out behind him, effectively boxing me in against the dung-heap. I looked at the girl. She shrugged and backed away. It looked like I was going to have to fight all of them. Me and the dragon. Terrific. I remembered my skinning knife. It wasn't much, but it was all I had. As casually as I could, I reached behind me and tugged at my shirt, trying to pull it up so I could get at the knife. The knife promptly fell down inside my pants. The wrecking crew started forward.

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth-ion Improbable

Skeeve is feeling rather restless and suddenly remembers the treasure map he bought on his last adventure. Knowing Aahz's lust for money, he shows him the map. Quicker than a Deveel at the Bazaar of Deva can take your possessions, they were off to find the Golden Cow! There were a few problems, aren't there always. Tanda decides that she is in on the hunt; for a share, of course. Since Aahz is not too up on vortexes, just dimensions, they have to visit a Shifter at the Bazaar for directions-he/she/it gets a 5% cut of the treasure for each time they have to visit him/her/it. (Want to guess how many times our heroes are led astray?)

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Something M.Y.T.H. Inc.

Things are not well in the kingdom... While Skeeve and Aahz are preoccupied with the aftermath of Gleep's shooting, the M.Y.T.H. Inc. crew faces its biggest challenge yet-not one, but multiple challenges to the king and his court sorcerer! Word on the street is that the kingdom is under the control of a mighty sorcerer. It's obvious that this magician dabbles in the black arts: He consorts with demons. He has a dragon for a pet. He's connected to the criminal underground, trading political influence for their assistance in keeping the populace under control. And for most citizens, all this could be overlooked, except that this villain has committed the greatest crime possible: he's raised taxes! Clearly something has to be done! The citizens are beginning to ponder and mutter, both individually and in groups, about how this tyrant can be brought down. And while they vary greatly in skill and intelligence, certainly the sheer volume of them virtually ensures the eventual downfall of the scoundrel that's currently growing fat off the kingdom... the man called Skeeve the Great. Can the M.Y.T.H. Inc. gang protect Skeeve from these attacks and still convince him that everything is business as usual?

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth-Alliances

Here it is! The first novel in the brand new Myth Adventures Series, by the authors of Liscence Invoked! Robert Asprin teams up with Jody Lynn Nye (Applied Mythology and Advanced Mythology) to bring you a brand new set of Myth Adventures with Skeeve, Aahz, Tanda, and the rest of the gang! Will be followed in 2004 by Myth-taken Identity. 'You want me to do what?' Aahz gasped, spitting a mouthful of beer clear across the open dance floor. The tuba player gave him a chiding glance and turned his instrument over to empty it. 'Ten... Female... PERVECTS!? A dimension full of Wuhses? The Deveels cheated them out of their last dime, and the Pervects got it back for them? And now they want us to throw the Pervects out? Mmm, mmm.' He slammed his mug down. I recoiled slightly at the violence of the gesture. His lips twisted. His shoulders started to heave. 'Mmm mmm mmm. Ha ha ha ha. HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW! HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!' He laughed until the building rang with the sound of his voice. The other patrons watched him nervously as he slapped me on the back, stood up, slipped to his knees, and slid down the trestle of the table until he was sitting on the floor laughing. Soon, he recovered and climbed up to his feet again. He took my hand in a crushing grip. 'Aw, part-Skeeve,' he said, wiping tears from his yellow eyes. 'I've missed you, kid. That is one of the best jokes I've heard in months. Really did me good. Fraulein!' He held up a hand and snapped his fingers. 'A round for my friends!' 'But I'm serious,' I stated.

Jody Lynn Nye, Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth-Taken Identity

Aahz gets an unwelcome visit from two blue-skinned bruisers and a small magician wanting Skeeve to cough up the dough for an extremely large bill that he skipped out on. Knowing that Skeeve has many faults, but welshing on a debt is not one of them, he enlists the aid of Chumley and Massha to go with him to the last place any self respecting Pervert would ever visit...the mall! Once there, they discover that the mall rats have created a scheme to steal customers' credit cards. Realizing that Skeeve is a victim of identity theft they set our to set matters right and to clear their friend's name...

Jody Lynn Nye, Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

Audiobook

Myth Conceptions

Robert Asprin's classic fantasy seriea, now available in eBook! With cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! A Myth-Adventure in Combat ... Having defeated the mad wizard, Isstvan, Skeeve and Aahz have taken over the remote inn that was the enemy's hideout. They're generally safe from visitors, and if not, Skeeve's growing magical abilities allow him to disguise himself and his friends as such repulsive serving staff that potential guests flee, screaming. Skeeve has grown bored of studying magic at the isolated inn, however, and one visitor who does not flee offers him an invitation for employment as court magician in the kingdom of Possiltum. Seeing a chance for easy profit and a little on the job training for his apprentice, Aahz agrees, Skeeve defeats the other applicants in a trial of magic to win the position, and that's when the fun really starts - the pair find out they've actually been hired in lieu of a professional national army or mercenaries to defeat a huge military invasion! They've also been used as pawns in a game of influence between the king's advisors ... and General Badaxe is particularly unhappy that he got a magician for the kingdom's money instead of a few thousand soldiers. Even if they win, they'll most likely be killed by one court faction or another. What can a poor apprentice wizard and his demon teacher do? # 1 - Call on some good friends. # 2 - Cheat the odds. # 3 - Do whatever it takes to WIN! Weapons of Myth-Destruction ... "Now that we've got a minute," Skeeve said, "would you mind telling me what your plan is? "Well," Aahz explained, "the way I figure it, we aren't going to overpower them. There are only seven of us and thousands of them. So the name of the game is Delay and Demoralize ... Right off the bat we've got two big weapons going for us,: "The gargoyle and the dragon?" Skeeve put in helpfully. "Fear and Bureaucracy," Aahz said. "What's Bureaucracy?" Skeeve asked. "The organization to get things done that keeps things from getting done," Aahz continued. "In this case, it's called the chain-of-command. An army the size of the one we're facing has to function like a well-oiled machine or it starts tripping over its own feet. I'm betting that if we toss a couple of handfuls of sand into the gears, they'll spend more time fighting each other than us." For once, Skeeve wished he hadn't asked Aahz for an explanation.

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth Directions

Robert Asprin's classic fantasy series, now available in eBook! With cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! The Great Game ... The Trophy is just about the ugliest piece of "art" that apprentice magician Skeeve has ever seen, but the beautiful Tananda wants to steal it for a special occasion. Skeeve's not above indulging in a daring act of interdimensional thievery for a good cause and the chance of adventure, and he figures that between his abilities and Tanda's, the guardians of the Trophy won't stand a chance. That's where their plan goes horribly wrong. The Trophy is the sacred object of an ancient contention, the Great Game between two rival nations, and it's closely guarded by professional magicians. Tananda is caught in the act of attempting to steal it, and Skeeve must escape to seek help to free her. To effect a rescue, Skeeve must recruit a team of his own to play the Game, taking on both opposing teams simultaneously-and he's got to win! It will take all of Skeeve's unproven magical talents and the devious mind of his scaley green mentor, Aahz, plus everything his strange crew of recruits can offer to beat the professionals at their own Game. Present Danger ... "That's it," she said with sudden, impish glee. "That's what?" I blinked. "Aahz's birthday present," she proclaimed. I peered down the street, wondering what she was looking at. "What is?" I asked. "That statue," she said firmly. "That statue?" I cried, unable to hide my horror. "Of course," she nodded, "it's perfect. Aahz will have never seen one, much less owned one." "How do you figure that?" I pressed. "It's obviously one-of-a-kind," she explained. "I mean, who could make something like that twice?" She had me there, but I wasn't about to give up the fight. "There's just one little problem. I'm no expert on psychology, but if that pack we just saw is any decent sample, I don't think the folks around here are going to be willing to sell us their pretty statue." "Of course not, silly," she laughed, turning to her food again. "That's what makes it priceless. I never planned to buy Aahz's present." "But if it isn't for sale, how do we get it?" I frowned, fearing the answer. Tananda choked suddenly on her food. It took me a moment to realize she was laughing. "Oh, Skeeve," she gasped at last, "you're such a kidder." "I am?" I blinked. "Sure," she insisted, looking deep into my eyes. "Why do you think it was so important for you to come along on this trip? I mean, you've always said you wanted to be a thief."

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Hit or Myth

Robert Asprin's classic fantasy series, now available in eBook! With cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! Identity Crisis ... Skeeve is just settling into his duties as Court Magician of Possiltum and his training as sorcerer's apprentice to Aahz, his scaly green demon mentor, when Aahz is suddenly called back to his home dimension on family business. Skeeve figures he can handle things on his own for a while, but then King Roderick convinces Skeeve to use his powers of illusion to take the king's place while Roderick takes a little "vacation." That's when Hemlock, the ruthless, ambitious queen of a powerful neighboring nation, turns up to fulfill her part in an arranged marriage with Roderick. Skeeve realizes that Roderick has taken a powder, leaving the hapless magician in his place to marry his homicidal fiancée. As if dealing with a potential Black Widow isn't trouble enough, representatives of Skeeve's old nemesis, the Mob, show up. They're determined to find out what happened to Big Julie's army, which they sent in a previous attempt to conquer Possiltum. Without his mentor's help, Skeeve must solve the problem of the Runaway King, protect himself from the ardor and the threat of the Killer Queen, and finally face the wrath of Don Bruce, the Mob's fairy godfather-who makes Skeeve an offer he can't refuse! The Fairy Godfather ... "Wait a minute," Shai-ster said, holding up his hands. "This is so far beyond my negotiating parameters that even if I liked what I saw, I couldn't approve the deal. I need to bring one of the Big Boys in on this decision." This was better than I had hoped. By the time he could bring one of the Mob's hierarchy to Possiltum, I could deal with some of my other problems. "Fine. Go and fetch him. I'll hold the deal until your return." The spokesman gave one of his tight-lipped smiles. "No need to wait," he said. "My immediate superior is on call specifically for emergencies such as this." Before I could frame a reply, he opened the front of his belt buckle and began rubbing it, all the while mumbling under his breath. There was a quick flash of light, and an old, hairy-jowled man appeared in the room. Looking round, he spied the two bodyguards sprawled on the floor and gripped the sides of his face with his open hands in an exaggerated expression of horror. "Mercy!" he wheezed in a voice so hoarse I could barely understand him. "Shai-ster, you bad boy. If there was trouble, you should have called me sooner. Oh, those poor, poor boys." The Mob spokesman's face was once again blank and impassive as he addressed me. "Skeeve, Lord Magician of Possiltum, let me introduce Don Bruce, the Mob's fairy godfather."

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Myth-ing Persons

Robert Asprin's classic fantasy series, now available in eBook! With cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! A Detective's Work ... Skeeve needs more than magic to solve a matter of Murder and Myth-tery. He's in a real pickle this time. His green, scaly partner, Aahz, has disappeared, and it looks like foul play. Finding Aahz ought to be a snap for a talented magician like Skeeve, especially with a sassy apprentice and a dumb-but-brawny bodyguard along for the ride. The trouble is, they're sleuthing in another dimension that makes the Bazaar on Deva look tame! Disappearing Act! "Banishment from the Bazaar is out!" Aahz snarled. "Not only would it destroy our reputations, I'm not about to get run out of the Bazaar and our home over something as idiotic as this!" "We're going to have to go after them." I sighed. "Half right," Aahz corrected. "I'm going to have to go after them. It's too dangerous for someone at your level of magical skill." "My level? How about you? "Experience," he said loftily. "I'm used to doing this, and you aren't. End of argument." "'End of argument' nothing! Just how to you propose to leave me behind if I don't agree?" "That's easy," Aahz grinned. "See who's standing in the corner?" I turned to look where he was pointing, and that's the last thing I remembered for a long time.

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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Little Myth Marker

Robert Asprin's classic fantasy series, now available in eBook! With cover and interior illustrations by Phil Foglio! A Friendly Game ... It was just an innocent game of dragon poker. But soon Ogres were high, unicorns wild, and the pot was half a million! Skeeve bluffs his way into a high-stakes game of dragon poker-and wins! But now he's left with Markie, a pint-sized IOU left by a player who went broke. She conjures up a house full of trouble every time she tries to cast a spell. And now the dragon poker champion has challenged Skeeve to a game-with a pot of half a million. Myth-Chievous ... Skeeve, magician extraordinaire, and his apprentice Massha were sauntering their way through the Bazaar at Diva. Markie, the little girl a gambler has left with Skeeve as a 'marker' after a game of dragon poker, was in a nearby tent, trying on some clothes with Bunny, another female member of Skeeve's retinue. 'Hasn't Markie been well-behaved?' Skeeve asked Massha. 'She said she was in the third grade of Elementary School, even though she calls it Elemental School...' 'ELEMENTAL SCHOOL!' Massha gasped in horror. 'We've got to get her back home...QUICK!' Just then, Markie was kicked out of the tent by its owner. Markie stared at the tent--and suddenly dozens of booths were destroyed by a powerful wind. 'Markie blew her cork and summoned up an air elemental, like you learn to do at Elemental School,' Massha said grimly ...

Robert Asprin (Author), Noah Michael Levine (Narrator)

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