Audiobooks by J.S. Cooper

Don't Quit the Day Job: The Annoying Hot Bosses Club, Book 1

"Dear Grumpy Horrible Boss, You suck as a lawyer. I don't even know how you passed the bar. Or how you sleep at night taking clients like Jack Whittington. Just in case you didn't know, you can't fire me just because I have a part-time job working bachelor parties. What I do on the weekend is none of your business and not a part of my employment contract. If I want to go back to wearing coconut bikinis and popping out of cakes, I can. As soon as I get my big break as an actress, I will be leaving your employ. I am literally counting down the days. You must be dreaming if you think I'm going to be working from 6 am to 9 pm for the next month just so you won't report me to HR. Go ahead and report me. See if I care, Mr. Wannabe hotshot playboy lawyer. You're not that hot, and I do not want you. Also, stop emailing me at night with lists of to-dos. Your not-very-well-paid assistant, Lila Haversham Lila, I hope you can count to infinity because that's how many more days you're going to be working for me. If your acting is as good as your dancing, you're not going to be making it anytime soon. Five words of advice: Don't quit your day job. Your very well-paid and handsome boss, Max Spector P.S. You've been given a new phone, so we can communicate via text instead of email. Or, if you'd rather, we can communicate from my bed. I'd rather not christen that blowup mattress again. P.P.S. I think your actions in the shower at the gym tell another story about how much you do or do not want me... care to drop the soap again?"

J.S. Cooper (Author), Josie Vargas, Lucas Dixon (Narrator)

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Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire

"To Whom It May Concern, This is a long shot. I'm seeking a billionaire. I will also settle for a millionaire. Sorry, I'm not interested in any salesmen looking to sell me a time-share or a part of their animal balloon company (been there, done that). I am not a gold digger, though you may not believe that. I have references. Ask all my broke exes and my best friends. To be fair, I am not a glamorous model, actress, or professional dancer. I do, however, take pole dancing lessons (for fun, of course, not dollar bills). I am an educated (still have the student loans to prove it), open-minded (toy stores are fun, and not for games), fairly cute (when I try), only a little curvy (those last thirty pounds don't want to leave) single female. I want to be swept off my feet, wined, dined, and bedded in ways that make me forget my name. I have a job (that I hate), with a boss who makes me want to jump off a cliff. However, my friends make up for the day job. I'm ready for an adventure—and possibly a penthouse with a maid and a design budget. If interested, please respond before Monday morning so I don't have to go to work. Love, Sultry Sassy Sarah Note to self: don't write stupid ads while half drunk and hanging out with immature, obnoxious friends. Certainly, do not post them on the internal company message thread by mistake. Do not freak out when your boss says he wants to see you in the office first thing Monday morning. And please never make a joke, asking how many dollar bills he has to make it rain, ever again. I'm dead meat."

J.S. Cooper (Author), CJ Bloom, Lance Greenfield (Narrator)

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