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Ivor Grump has been attempting golf since the tender age of 14. He was the Worcestershire Golf Club’s junior champion in 1976 and it’s been downhill all the way ever since. His nadir was losing 13 golf balls at Royal Sandwich and failing to complete the course. Grump is one of the founding members of the PGA (Professional Grumps Association).
Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of The Grumpy Driver's and Golfers Handbooks, is a compilation of all things frustrating about maintaining the average domestic garden. Grump's attempts to improve his extra room outdoors are thwarted at every turn. His lawn develops alopecia, his fruit trees are shunned by all pollinating insects, his veg is a big hit with slugs and his Indian sandstone patio becomes an ingenious sunken garden. Chapters include Pruning, Weeding, Compost (Ivor is convinced that cryogenics fan Walt Disney could be happily accommodated in his non-decomposing compost bins), Sheds, Pond-Life, Oh, I Simply Adore Lobelia (people who talk too loudly in show gardens), TV Gardening, Pests and Living With 'Leaf Lady', a woman hell-bent on identifying every foreign leaf that is swept into their garden - and returning it...There is a Grumpy Calendar of seasonal jobs in the garden and how best to avoid them, plus advice on how to impress people with a Slacker's Veg Patch (vegetables that look after themselves more or less).
Grumpy golfers are not displaying ill temper through being bad at the game, oh no, this is everyone else’s fault, bad courses, bad competition, stupid rules, people on the green, people in the club house, the golf shop, tourists, dogs and people that can actually play golf rather well. “Ivor Grump” details all the many, many problems that can cause a golfer to ruin their game. In my (limited) experience it appears that 99.9% of all golfers are grumpy so can see this one hitting the Christmas jackpot! Like for Like Reading Grumpy Old Men: The Official Handbook, Stuart Prebble The Golf Omnibus, P. G. Wodehouse The Lovereading view... The perfect gift for frustrated and grumpy golfers! All golfing life - from golf club car parks to the 19th hole - is ruthlessly exposed to the famous Grump wit. Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of One Grump or Two and The Grumpy Driver’s Handbook, The Grumpy Golfer's Handbook is a compilation of all things miserable about playing golf. All the evils of golf are included: the slice, the hook, the snap-hook, the shank, the first tee duff and the yips. There are also sections on annoying hazards, such as lakes, streams, trees, deep bunkers, green keepers, dog walkers and bringing along the girlfriend.