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Ivor Grump - Author

About the Author

Ivor Grump has been attempting golf since the tender age of 14. He was the Worcestershire Golf Club’s junior champion in 1976 and it’s been downhill all the way ever since. His nadir was losing 13 golf balls at Royal Sandwich and failing to complete the course. Grump is one of the founding members of the PGA (Professional Grumps Association).

Featured books by Ivor Grump

The Grumpy Gardner's Handbook

The Grumpy Gardner's Handbook

Author: Ivor Grump Format: Hardback Release Date: 03/02/2011

Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of The Grumpy Driver's and Golfers Handbooks, is a compilation of all things frustrating about maintaining the average domestic garden. Grump's attempts to improve his extra room outdoors are thwarted at every turn. His lawn develops alopecia, his fruit trees are shunned by all pollinating insects, his veg is a big hit with slugs and his Indian sandstone patio becomes an ingenious sunken garden. Chapters include Pruning, Weeding, Compost (Ivor is convinced that cryogenics fan Walt Disney could be happily accommodated in his non-decomposing compost bins), Sheds, Pond-Life, Oh, I Simply Adore Lobelia (people who talk too loudly in show gardens), TV Gardening, Pests and Living With 'Leaf Lady', a woman hell-bent on identifying every foreign leaf that is swept into their garden - and returning it...There is a Grumpy Calendar of seasonal jobs in the garden and how best to avoid them, plus advice on how to impress people with a Slacker's Veg Patch (vegetables that look after themselves more or less).

Other books by Ivor Grump

The Grumpy Gardner's Handbook

The Grumpy Gardner's Handbook

Author: Ivor Grump Format: Hardback Release Date: 03/02/2011

Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of The Grumpy Driver's and Golfers Handbooks, is a compilation of all things frustrating about maintaining the average domestic garden. Grump's attempts to improve his extra room outdoors are thwarted at every turn. His lawn develops alopecia, his fruit trees are shunned by all pollinating insects, his veg is a big hit with slugs and his Indian sandstone patio becomes an ingenious sunken garden. Chapters include Pruning, Weeding, Compost (Ivor is convinced that cryogenics fan Walt Disney could be happily accommodated in his non-decomposing compost bins), Sheds, Pond-Life, Oh, I Simply Adore Lobelia (people who talk too loudly in show gardens), TV Gardening, Pests and Living With 'Leaf Lady', a woman hell-bent on identifying every foreign leaf that is swept into their garden - and returning it...There is a Grumpy Calendar of seasonal jobs in the garden and how best to avoid them, plus advice on how to impress people with a Slacker's Veg Patch (vegetables that look after themselves more or less).

The Grumpy Driver's Handbook A Grump's Guide to the Highway Code

The Grumpy Driver's Handbook A Grump's Guide to the Highway Code

Author: Ivor Grump Format: Hardback Release Date: 19/10/2009

Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of One Grump or Two, The Grumpy Driver's Handbook is a celebration of all that is miserable and tedious on the road. Driving brings out the worst in even the most mild mannered individual and so a book on the worst habits in motoring and the `joys' of car ownership is the natural gift for the career grump. Spurred on by endless roadworks, coned-off lanes, BMW drivers, white van men, speed cameras, lunatic cyclists, rude taxi drivers and kamikazi motorcyclists, the grump has an ocean of opportunity for expression. The Grumpy Driver's Handbook (including The Highway Grump) tackles the evils of lane swappers, caravan owners, bumper huggers, rubber neckers, light jumpers, hard shoulder cruisers, sleeping policemen and speaking policemen.

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