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David Quantick - Author

About the Author

David Quantick is a BAFTA award-winning comedy writer and bestselling author of the bestselling series of Grumpy Old Men books. Dangerous Book for Middle-Aged Men is edited by the great Jon Naismith (producer of I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue and much award-winning radio and TV). Both are certainly not pushing middle-age and they are certainly not into cooking ... apart from truffles ... which are really, really expensive ... or sports cars ... and neither has a comb-over ... yet.

Featured books by David Quantick

Other books by David Quantick

How to Be A Writer

How to Be A Writer

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback / softback Release Date: 07/03/2016

David Quantick interviews some of the best writers in a variety of field to provide a detailed overview for living your life as a writer on a daily practical level:~ In conversation with Caitlin Moran, Jon Ronson, Suzanne Moore, Mark Billingham, Emma Donoghue, Dennis Kelly and many others, David asks: * When do you get ideas? * When do you write? * How do you deal with your money? * Who do you have lunch with? * How do you keep going? How to Be a Writer looks at every aspect of a writer's life, from writing methods to writing habits and every aspect of day to day life as a writer. Advice and anecdotes from agents, publishers, comedy writers, stand-up comedians, best-selling authors and popular columnists - to help you BE the writer you want to be.

How to Write Everything

How to Write Everything

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback / softback Release Date: 31/10/2014

How To Write Everything is the ultimate writer's handbook. It tells you about every aspect of writing, from having an idea to getting the idea out into the world and getting paid for it, too. It covers everything from journalism to screen-writing, from speeches to sketches, from sitcoms to novels. With thirty years' experience as an award-winning script-writer, journalist, author and broadcaster David Quantick is ideally suited, as a writer, to write this definitive writer's guide to writing...everything.David Quantick is part of the writing team for HBO's multi-award-winning show Veep. He has recently won the 2015 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Comedy Series and Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

The Dangerous Book for Middle-Aged Men A Manual for Managing Mid-Life Crisis

The Dangerous Book for Middle-Aged Men A Manual for Managing Mid-Life Crisis

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback / softback Release Date: 06/05/2010

So your husband/boyfriend/partner (delete as necessary) has just tipped over 35/40/45/50 (delete as necessary) and you can see that he's not quite as keen on Emmerdale as he once was. He's started to dress with his jeans hoiked too high like his hero Jeremy Clarkson and he's bought a home gym - the one recommended by George Clooney. Then there are those Harley Davison brochures delivered in brown envelopes. You've noticed he's started pulling in his beer gut when he's talks to his teenage secretary. And why have his grey sideburns turned that browny black? That's a sure sign of hair dye. And then you stumble into the bathroom in the morning and he's got his hands in a jar of your face cream. LADIES BEWARE! That dangerous age has arrived. It's the male menopause. The mid-life crisis. The time when suddenly you find your partner has put a whole Scalextrix track in your attic without you noticing. He's bought an electric guitar and insists on playing 'Smoke On The Water 'to the cat at all hours. It that time when no matter what you say they suddenly don't mind making a fools of themselves. They come home almost every week with a new enthusiasm. Dangerous Men don't just cook - they COOK. With truffles, that cost GBP210 for one the size of a wrinkled scrotum, and have to be from the right region of France. And they must be served with a side order of blowfish, because you saw that in a James Bond DVD that came free with the Mail on Sunday.

Grumpy Old Men on Holiday

Grumpy Old Men on Holiday

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback Release Date: 09/04/2010

Following the phenomenal success of Grumpy Old Men, the quintessential grumpy old man, David Quantick, has taken a well-deserved holiday. But no matter where you go, there is always something to moan about. You're stuck behind endless caravans on the M4, waiting for a non-existent filthy train, hanging around looking at crap luggage in an airport. Is it going to be worth the effort? Of course is b****y well isn't. David Quantick here explores everything that makes the rest of the world different - and therefore worse - than Britain and lets us know exactly why it is safer to stay at home than to become grumpy old men on holiday. The indispensable guide to the grumpy old xenophobe in us all.

Grumpy Old Men New Year, Same Old Crap

Grumpy Old Men New Year, Same Old Crap

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback Release Date: 01/07/2009

Following the phenomenal success of `Grumpy Old Men', and `Grumpy Old Men on Holiday', the guru of grump, David Quantick, takes a stand for miserable slobs everywhere against the self-help motivational mafia and keep-fit claptrap. The ultimate in stress-relief for the 21st-Century Grouch. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Do you feel that the best way to cleanse your aura is to have trains that run on time, rather than detoxing with soybean-curd and shots of wheat germ, and that banning novelty mobile phone ring-tones would balance your chakras better than a course of crystal and hot-stones healing? If it is an intolerance of other people, rather than glucose, that gives you irritable bowel syndrome, and a gin and tonic soothes your karma better than ginseng and tofu ever could, then this book is for you. Apathetic malcontents unite! It's time to roll up your yoga mats and use as draft excluders, line the cat's litter tray with your organic, macrobiotic muesli, put your feet up on your abs-crunching exercise ball and make only ONE Resolution for the New year: to be grumpier and more bloody miserable than ever.

The Dark Husband

The Dark Husband

Author: David Quantick Format: CD-Audio Release Date: 30/03/2008

Eternal enemies the ginger-haired Ri and the coot-bald Ir are plotting to turn their truce at the Festival of the Twin Moons of Tuin to their own advantage. Only the Dark Husband can stop the celebrations turning to horror...but who is the Dark Husband?

Grumpy Old Men

Grumpy Old Men

Author: David Quantick Format: Paperback / softback Release Date: 03/04/2006

At last! A comprehensive, handy guide for the misery-guts in your life. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Grumpy Old Men is an annotated, cross-referenced and fully illustrated manual for malcontents everywhere: the comprehensive Gripes of Wrath. A compilation of gripes and grumbles, illustrated with blood-boiling images such as derailed trains and traffic wardens throughout. The next time you find yourself enraged by pointless speed bumps, overcrowded trains, ill-mannered drivers, irritating adverts, inefficient customer help-lines, overbooked airlines, inconsiderate cyclists, slow-moving caravans, extortionate bank charges, persistent charity collectors, mindless hotel muzak, unfunny clowns or just plain miserable British weather, let this book take the strain. The ultimate in stress-relief for the 21st-Century Grouch.

Dress To Kill

Dress To Kill

Author: David Quantick, Eddie Izzard Format: Paperback / softback Release Date: 25/03/2000

Eddie Izzard - action transvestite, boy racer and male tomboy - spent the 1990s conquering Britain. As the decade ended, he looked further afield. Dressed To Kill , his stand-up tour, saw him transport his high heels and off-the-shoulder numbers to New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, taking a natural comedian's delight in the differences separating the two sides of the Pond. In this book, he reflects on his birth in Yemen and his childhood in Northern Ireland, Wales and London, and muses on animals, male tomboys, street theatre, sex, crime, God, The Great Escape , Bible stories starring Sean Connery and James Mason, and cats who dig for oil. He also reflects on the trials and tribulations of being an cross-dressing, surrealist comedian intent on making it in America.

15 Minute Musical: The Complete Third BBC Radio Series

15 Minute Musical: The Complete Third BBC Radio Series

Author: David Quantick, Richie Webb, Dave Cohen Format: eBook Release Date: 01/01/1970

The complete fourth series of brief musical comedies - as heard on BBC Radio 4. These musical comedies contain some of the most foot-tapping satire you'll ever hear... 'Westminster Side Story' - Gordon Brown and David Cameron are two gang leaders with nothing to fight about. 'Life on Noel' - Noel Edmonds wakes up in 2007 and is desperate to return to 1973 in this 70s glam-rock musical. 'How Do You Stop a Woman Like Camilla?' - Camilla Parker Bowles leaves the convent to help look after Charles Von Windsor's huge family of two boys. 'When You Wish upon a Car' - a tornado dumps Jeremy Clarkson under the rainbow in the car-free and pedestrian-friendly Land of Oz. 'The Princess and the Frog Chorus' - Ringo Starr narrates a tabloid fairytale about Heather, a young princess, and Paul, a not-so-young mega-rich pop prince. 'Around the World in 15 Minutes' - Tony Phileas Blair accepts a bet from Gordon Brown that he can't solve the world's problems in a quarter of an hour. The complete fourth BBC Radio 4 series by Dave Cohen, David Quantick and Richie Webb.

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