Titles to make you laugh out loud. Or just smile. Or both
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay GBP250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
So. Damn. Relatable.Life is full of perplexing questions and complicated situations. Will I survive this hangover? (Probably not.) Should I cancel my plans?(Yes! Cancel immediately.) Am I having a quarter-life crisis?(Probably.) Do I even like this person? (Nope, nope, nope.) A collection of 54 fully illustrated flowcharts, pros-and-cons lists, and rants, this inspired book of humor disguised as invaluable advice is a gift to make anyone feel better, proving that every question, thought, and decision, no matter how ridiculous or irresponsible, is completely valid.
Regrets. Teacher Frances has a few. She’s 39, single, and beset by dissatisfaction with all aspects of her life - personal, professional and familial. Her dad vanished from her life when he was lost at sea when she was only five and now her mum is vanishing into the fog of Alzheimer’s. On top of this, her relationship with Jackson, fellow teacher, former best friend and one-timer lover, has taken a painful downturn following a night of wine-fuelled passion. As Frances is led to question her father’s disappearance, it becomes clear that she’s the one who’s lost in a sea of doubt. After a lifetime of secrets and hiding, she’s steered by the words of a blind man she guides from a station: “Sometimes you just have to feel your way”. Realising that she’s been drifting for far too long, Frances shakily decides that it’s time for her to feel her own way in the world, and so she sets off on a journey to discover the truth. The snappy, short-tempered exchanges between Frances and Jackson are humorously and movingly authentic, and the race-against-time climax makes for a gripping reading experience. Often funny and always tender, this accomplished debut explores the cycles of life, messing up and making amends with charm and wit.
From the phenomenal number-one bestseller David Walliams comes another collection of more hilariously horrible children! Illustrated in glorious and gruesome colour by artist genius, Tony Ross, these stories will appal and delight young readers. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories about the absolute worst children ever! From ten-year old Hank and his endless pranks on his poor, long-suffering family, to Tandy and her titanic tantrums - this brand new collection is the perfect companion to World's Worst Children books 1 and 2 and an ideal gift for the worst children in your life! This compendium of catastrophically horrid boys and girls is brought to you by the phenomenal number-one bestseller David Walliams, and every story is illustrated in glorious and gruesome colour by the artistic genius Tony Ross. 2018 marks the 10th anniversary of the publication of David Walliams' first novel, The Boy in the Dress.
97-hour weeks, life and death decisions, a constant tsunami of bodily fluids, and the hospital parking meter earns more than you. Scribbled in secret after endless days, sleepless nights and missed weekends, Adam Kay's This is Going to Hurt provides a no-holds-barred account of his time on the NHS front line. Hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking, this diary is everything you wanted to know - and more than a few things you didn't - about life on and off the hospital ward. This edition includes extra diary entries and a new afterword by the author.
Shortlisted for The People's Book Prize| February 2018 Book of the Month. A perfectly formed absolute treat of a book, containing 300 aphorisms by Robert Eddison, journalist, playwright, public speaker, and aphorist. The foreword by Gyles Brandreth salutes the skill of Eddison. These pithy, witty, thoughtful one-liners at times burst onto my consciousness, while others made me think, ponder, consider. Two favourites of mine are “Deep thoughts take time to surface”, and “Throwaway remarks are not always caught”. This little book would make the perfect gift for anyone with an appreciation for words, written or spoken. It can be picked up and dipped into, become a topic of conversation, revisited and evaluated. Wisdom and Wordplay contains some wonderful one-liners, they tease, fence, pierce, creating a fabulous addition to any bookshelf. ~ Liz Robinson
A fun present for cat lovers everywhere: a light-hearted self-help guide to help you live more like your cat. Stephane Garnier will show you what he's learned over fifteen years of closely observing his cat, and teach you all the ways in which you too can apply the secrets of cats to your own life - at work, at home and with your friends. Unplug your laptop. Throw away your alarm clock. It's time to live like your cat!
My mother is not a foodie. But for as long as I can remember, once a year, she becomes possessed of a profound and desperate need to serve up a perfect roast turkey. Faced with a walk into the village though, she might think 'oh, f*** it' and decide to get a frozen one from Bejams on the 23rd and leave it to defrost in the downstairs toilet for not quite 48 hours.
Hmm (bug)… does the world really need another Christmas-themed stocking filler book? Surely the genre is as dead as Old Marley, doornail and all, with nothing new to say, no fresh, funny takes to be made. Well, actually, this stylishly illustrated tome does have more to say. In fact, it offers a veritable forest of sharply spruced-up observations on everything from disappointing gifts (“14-year-olds do not want two-foot wide peg looms for Christmas”), to the entirely unsuitable sleeping arrangements Britons typically endure after driving home for Christmas (the out-dated spare rooms stuffed with “several hundredweight of car-boot sale fodder”, and nights spent on “rapidly deflating airbeds, barely the width of the average human body”). The first-person anecdotes are an absolute joy; often cringe-inducingly hilarious, and sometimes moving. Indeed, alongside the excellent observational humour, astute points are made about the likes of rampant consumerism and seasonal depression: Christmas “acts as a kind of emotional multiplier. If things are good, they feel glorious; if things are bad, they feel dreadful”. This cracker of a book (not sorry) will have recipients ho-ho-ho-ing around the Christmas tree, and keep them entertained long after the last pesky pine needles have been vacuumed up. ~ Joanne Owen
A treat for Harry Hill fans! Britain's favourite comedian, Harry Hill, loves jokes so much that he has put together a side-splitting joke book for all the family. Containing Harry's favourite jokes picked from the world's joke archive, it also features jokes written by Harry, including some brand-new ones written specially for this book.Warning: now even funnier! Contains new section of hilarious readers' jokes'
This is Dawn French's fabulous new non-fiction book for 2017, and it's totally interactive: take a lovely ramble through the year together with Dawn. Think of it as Dawn's diary, personalized by you ... perfection.
The hilarious, heart-warming and tear-jerking memoir from one of Britain's best-loved comedians and actors, Matt Lucas.
Laugh. Out. Loud.
Edward Estlin Cummings knew a thing or two (take a look at our Poetry Section if you don’t believe us!) and we have to agree with him. Humour is at the heart of human life and you’ll find it in fine form in this section. From favourite TV shows to quirky memoirs; hilarious novels to witty verse; books to dip into, books to devour. We know that humour is subjective and so we’ve spread the net pretty wide as we trawled the comedy oceans for the funniest fish. Un’shellfish’ly, we’ve compiled monthly lists of eclectic recommendations so that you can easily find whatever tickles your fins. There are books here to give as gifts, to savour on your own, or to enjoy with others. Books of laugh out-loud jokes and anecdotes to make you smile on the train, plane, bus or any other public place. After all, laughter is infectious. Spread it around.