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Titles to make you laugh out loud. Or just smile. Or both
A devastatingly hilarious satire that cuts closer to the truth of than any nonfiction account: The creator and star of Comedy Central's acclaimed The President Show opens the vault and imagines Donald J. Trump's presidential archives, exposing documents from his childhood in Queens to his toddlerhood in the Oval Office. The Presidential Archives. Every other president has made a mess of it. Barack Obama is currently spending millions of dollars (probably trillions, if you want to know the truth) building a monument to himself. And they don't even charge admission at these places! No wonder this country is a zillion dollars in debt. And what's the point?!: These guys are already out of office and old news. We hate to say it, folks, but the presidential library is totally broken and needs to be made great again. America, we herewith present the FIRST AND ONLY presidential library to be released in real time, while the president is still in office. (Why delay?) But wait, THERE'S MORE! Who wants the hassle of having to go to some boring building in the middle of nowhere? (The Eisenhower Library is in Abilene, Kansas - yikes!) What if you could have your favorite president's library delivered to your home, today! THAT'S NOT ALL! What if you could carry that library with you EVERYWHERE! Introducing THE DONALD J. TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL ARCHIVES: VOLUME 1. It's all here: the 45th U.S. president's letters, diaries, Oval Office recordings, Moscow hotel tapes, grand jury testimony, sealed indictments, financial records, subpoenas, dossiers, Michael Cohen recordings, AND SO MUCH MORE! Never has wisdom been so accessible! It's the last book you will ever need to buy. Or maybe just the last book published, period. Get yours NOW before the first amendment is abolished! Don't miss VOLUME 2: THE PRISON YEARS - coming soon! Hopefully!
Discover the wisdom of Mahatma Gandhi alongside the wit of Groucho Marx in a collection of the greatest and most memorable quotations from across the centuries: an entertaining compendium of themed quotes from the greatest minds, orators, celebrities, writers and politicians that ever lived. Funny and profound, there are gems here for everyone. Struggling to recall those elusive quotes and sayings? With this thematic approach, The Times has the answer with a selection of the best one-liners across multiple topics and including a people index to help you find who and what you are looking for. Marvel at the wisdom of the ancients and laugh at the outrageous quips of the great and good Philosophy, politics, sex, marriage, humour all in one condensed package A full list of themes and people index make finding your way through the book so much easier Quotations include contributions from: Jane Austen, Simone de Beauvoir, Robert Burns, Lord Byron, Truman Capote, Confucius, Charles Darwin, Horace, Carl Jung, Immanuel Kant, Olga Korbut, Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, George Orwell, Pablo Picasso, Plato, Ronald Reagan, Bertrand Russell, Mother Teresa, Oscar Wilde.
What's the worst that can happen? Are there aliens out there somewhere? What happens when I die? In Do You Know What?, our favourite sportsman-turned-comedian-slash-leftfield-thinker Freddie Flintoff expels an eclectic and entertaining smorgasbord of anecdotes, impressions, reflections, ruminations, musings, cogitations, observations, rants, confessions and pearls of wisdom on all aspects of life's rich tapestry. As a prolific philosopher of life's most unfathomable questions, Freddie uses his own inexplicable experiences - from the sublime: giving up booze, shopping in Poundland with his family, exploring the wonders of the universe with his mates; to the ridiculous: wrestling with WWE's finest, singing in a musical on the West End, pranking teammates - to help us all gain the comfort of his life mantra: What's the worst that can happen? Do You Know What? is an unexpectedly helpful, occasionally silly and absorbing brain dump on life and everything it holds, from one of Britain's most-loved national treasures.
Hollywood legend and British national treasure Michael Caine shares the wisdom, stories, insight and skills that life has taught him in his remarkable career - and now his 85th year. One of our best-loved actors Michael Caine has starred in a huge range of films - including all-time favourites - from the classic British movies Alfie, Zulu and The Italian Job to the Hollywood blockbusting Dark Knight trilogy, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Hannah and Her Sisters and Cider House Rules. Caine has excelled in every kind of role - with a skill that's made it look easy. He knows what success takes - he's made it to the top of his profession from the toughest beginning. But as he says 'Small parts can lead to big things. And if you keep doing things right, the stars will align when you least expect it.' Now in his 85th year he wants to share everything he's learned. With brilliant new insight into his life and work and with his wonderful gift for story, this is Caine at his wise and entertaining best.
The Private Eye Annual 2018 present's the year's best cartoons, jokes and spoofs from the UK's best selling satirical magazine. Illustrated in colour throughout with cartoons, sketches and photo-bubbles. The Private Eye Annual remains both a collector's item and a perennial Christmas bestseller - the perfect secret Santa gift, still under a tenner!
A perfect stocking filler - whether Brexit makes you laugh or cry, Ladybird's The Story of Brexit will just make you laugh. 'Leaving was the will of the people, sighs Angelica's father. He voted to leave. Angelica voted to remain, but she feels the same way. It is the will of the people, she sighs. They stare at the ducks. They like the ducks. Ducks are better than people.' 'Brexit gave us lots of exciting new words, like brextremist, remoaner, bremoaner, remaybe, breprehensible, remaintenance, brexorcist, remaidstone, brex-girlfriend, remange, brextortion, remayhem and bregret. The new words make it harder for foreigners to understand what we are saying. In a tough, new international business world, small advantages such as this can be crucial.' This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.
'As funny, wicked, naughty, eye-popping and compulsively, joyously brilliant as the genius who wrote it' Stephen Fry We know him best for his unforgettable roles on Monty Python - from the Flying Circus to The Meaning of Life. Now, Eric Idle reflects on the meaning of his own life in this entertaining memoir that takes us on a remarkable journey from his childhood in an austere boarding school through his successful career in comedy, television, theatre and film. Coming of age as a writer and comedian during the Sixties and Seventies, Eric stumbled into the crossroads of the cultural revolution and found himself rubbing shoulders with the likes of George Harrison, David Bowie and Robin Williams, all of whom became lifelong friends. With anecdotes sprinkled throughout involving Mike Nichols, Mick Jagger, Steve Martin, Paul Simon and many more, as well as the Pythons themselves, Eric captures a time of tremendous creative output with equal parts hilarity and heart. In Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, named after the song he wrote for Life of Brian which has since become the number-one song played at funerals in the UK, he shares the highlights of his life and career with the kind of offbeat humour that has delighted his audiences for five decades. This is a memoir chock-full of behind-the-scenes stories from a high-flying life featuring everyone from Princess Leia to Queen Elizabeth.
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay GBP250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
So. Damn. Relatable.Life is full of perplexing questions and complicated situations. Will I survive this hangover? (Probably not.) Should I cancel my plans?(Yes! Cancel immediately.) Am I having a quarter-life crisis?(Probably.) Do I even like this person? (Nope, nope, nope.) A collection of 54 fully illustrated flowcharts, pros-and-cons lists, and rants, this inspired book of humor disguised as invaluable advice is a gift to make anyone feel better, proving that every question, thought, and decision, no matter how ridiculous or irresponsible, is completely valid.
Regrets. Teacher Frances has a few. She’s 39, single, and beset by dissatisfaction with all aspects of her life - personal, professional and familial. Her dad vanished from her life when he was lost at sea when she was only five and now her mum is vanishing into the fog of Alzheimer’s. On top of this, her relationship with Jackson, fellow teacher, former best friend and one-timer lover, has taken a painful downturn following a night of wine-fuelled passion. As Frances is led to question her father’s disappearance, it becomes clear that she’s the one who’s lost in a sea of doubt. After a lifetime of secrets and hiding, she’s steered by the words of a blind man she guides from a station: “Sometimes you just have to feel your way”. Realising that she’s been drifting for far too long, Frances shakily decides that it’s time for her to feel her own way in the world, and so she sets off on a journey to discover the truth. The snappy, short-tempered exchanges between Frances and Jackson are humorously and movingly authentic, and the race-against-time climax makes for a gripping reading experience. Often funny and always tender, this accomplished debut explores the cycles of life, messing up and making amends with charm and wit.
From the phenomenal number-one bestseller David Walliams comes another collection of more hilariously horrible children! Illustrated in glorious and gruesome colour by artist genius, Tony Ross, these stories will appal and delight young readers. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories about the absolute worst children ever! From ten-year old Hank and his endless pranks on his poor, long-suffering family, to Tandy and her titanic tantrums - this brand new collection is the perfect companion to World's Worst Children books 1 and 2 and an ideal gift for the worst children in your life! This compendium of catastrophically horrid boys and girls is brought to you by the phenomenal number-one bestseller David Walliams, and every story is illustrated in glorious and gruesome colour by the artistic genius Tony Ross. 2018 marks the 10th anniversary of the publication of David Walliams' first novel, The Boy in the Dress.
97-hour weeks, life and death decisions, a constant tsunami of bodily fluids, and the hospital parking meter earns more than you. Scribbled in secret after endless days, sleepless nights and missed weekends, Adam Kay's This is Going to Hurt provides a no-holds-barred account of his time on the NHS front line. Hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking, this diary is everything you wanted to know - and more than a few things you didn't - about life on and off the hospital ward. This edition includes extra diary entries and a new afterword by the author.
Laugh. Out. Loud.
Edward Estlin Cummings knew a thing or two (take a look at our Poetry Section if you don’t believe us!) and we have to agree with him. Humour is at the heart of human life and you’ll find it in fine form in this section. From favourite TV shows to quirky memoirs; hilarious novels to witty verse; books to dip into, books to devour. We know that humour is subjective and so we’ve spread the net pretty wide as we trawled the comedy oceans for the funniest fish. Un’shellfish’ly, we’ve compiled monthly lists of eclectic recommendations so that you can easily find whatever tickles your fins. There are books here to give as gifts, to savour on your own, or to enjoy with others. Books of laugh out-loud jokes and anecdotes to make you smile on the train, plane, bus or any other public place. After all, laughter is infectious. Spread it around.