Fiercely funny, hilariously candid and heartfelt observations on modern life… 

9780718182526Making it Up as I Go Along is Marian Keyes' third collection of essays and like Marian herself – gets right to the heart of what it means to be a woman in 2016. After reading the book we really wanted to share some of our favourite quotes (see below) - and we heartily recommend the book for even more gems...

Marian Keyes on:
No Regrets:
“They’ say you only regret the things you don’t do, which is total codswallop because there are no words to describe how much I regret that time I dyed my hair blonde. (It went green. And not in a good way. And I didn’t have any money to get it fixed, so it stayed bad-green for a very long time).”
Holidaying in Laos:
“Just before I went to sleep, I put my anti-mad tablets out on the bedside yoke for easy access in the morning. And when I awoke, after a lovely slumber, weren’t they all ett?! Yes! My anti-mad tablets! By insects or small beasts unknown! Who must have been going around in TOP form all day."
Marian-Keyes-2014-credit-Barry-McCall_vsFake Tan:
“This is how I tan: feet - golden. Stomach - mahogany. Shins - Germolene pink. Face - bluey-white, offset with a massive, red, peeling, Bozo-the Clown nose. At the end of two weeks in the sun I look like a patchwork quilt.”
Learning to Cook:
“I didn’t cook. I didn’t know how and I didn’t want to learn. The thought of having to have meat ready at the same time as potatoes at the same time as two veg made me want to crouch in a corner, whimpering and rocking.”
Lasers:
“I had my hairy legs lasered and it was a resounding success! Previous to this I have had the hairiest legs in Christendom. Loads of times I’ve met people and they’ve said, ‘Oh no, I bet my legs are hairier than yours, mine are REALLY hairy,’ then I unveil my furry limbs and they usually swallow hard and step back and say, “Riiiight, I see what you mean…"
What would Scrooge do:
“Nor would Scrooge send Christmas cards. So neither do I. The first year I thought the guilt would kill me, but it’s got easier. Maybe it’s like committing murder: the first one is the hardest."
And to finish...
Marian Keyes Lexicon:
“Feck: the most misunderstood, falsely maligned word ever. It is NOT a swear word. Anyone, even the Pope, could say ‘feck’ and no one would look askance. It is nothing like the other ‘F’ word. Feel free to use it liberally."
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