Audiobooks narrated by Steve Schatz

Mystery, Wit & Drag Queens Homo Heroes vs Politico Ponce Brothers Fast paced fun. Touching and tawdry. Churchies, crooks, and rapscallions scheme to close our only gay bar, rape a forest, and get rich with a gay hating charter school. Break-ins, kidnapping, threats, blackmail, bondage, and the most spectacular drag show the world has ever seen, thrill and delight you as the anti-heroes from Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe once more answer the call to set things straight, as it were. A great book, read by the author. Fast, funny, and funky. The third Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe book has all your favorites – TiaRa del Fuego, impresaria extraordinaire; Nacho Mama, gruff restaurateur; Aunt May, sweet lil ol Southern belle with a thousand lurid stories of her sexual past; BB Singer, anti-hero dropped in the midst of the mess, whose only desire is to escape unscathed with his latest treasure, an 18” statue of the Virgin Mary festooned with seashells; and many more old n new fun and funky friends. The villain is a plastic politico named Ponce (absolutely in NO way resembling any current politician) who looks like a model for the groom on a wedding cake, claims to be driven by gawd, and will do any nasty thing to get what he wants. His brother is much worse.

Steve Schatz (Author), Steve Schatz (Narrator)

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Who Plugged the Dyke: An Indiana Election Mystery

Some Elections are hard … This one is Murder! Get ready for Excitement, Laughs, Thrills and Fun! In 10 days she’ll be the 1st in your face lesbian judge elected in homo-hating Indiana. But someone wants to kill her and her little dog too. The friends from Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe must put on their big boy panties, get out of Hoosier Daddy, the only gay bar in town, onto the streets and go hunting for the culprit. Thrills, drag shows, danger, and laughs as the anti-heroes dodge explosions, fire, guns, knives and terror, seek out the hidden mastermind and sashay to the rescue. You loved Any Summer Sunday at Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe. Now, the merry band from the small Indiana college town’s drag bar return. It’s an Indiana Election Mystery. Who Plugged the Dyke? Read by the author, this cozy, gay mystery is just the thing to bring a smile to your face and keep you guessing all the way to the exciting climax.

Steve Schatz (Author), Steve Schatz (Narrator)

Audiobook

Ghost Girl | A Mystery: Sometimes a Ghost Needs a Hand

Mattie is a ghost, swept away in a flood in 1922. Nate hates being stuck in a small town, away from Boston and all his friends. Mattie must find her body and only has a few days left before she is banished to the Badlands. Nate somehow can see Mattie and she convinces him to help by ripping her face off and other gross things. With the help of a crazy cat lady, a friendly librarian, and a group of of helpful ghosts, the two must avoid Mattie's evil, axe-swinging Pa and find her body. Ages 9 and up. 135 pages. The Ghost - Mattie died horribly nearly 100 years ago, swept away in a flood while her pa tried to kill her with a huge axe. Now she is stuck in the little town with buckets of water pouring over her all the time. She's not even allowed in the graveyard. She's spunky, pushy and has as much fun as she can - given her situation - being 11 years old forever. The Boy - Nate was dragged to live in the little, hick town by his mother. All he wants is to get back to his friends and his dad back in Boston. He doesn't have any friends here and doesn't want any. The Mystery - Mattie can't find her body. She only has eight days to find it or she is banished to the Badlands forever. The Weird Thing - Nate can see Mattie. He's the first person in a long time who can. The Others - A crazy, old cat lady, some old lady ghosts, a friendly librarian. Time is running out and Mattie's Pa is back from the grave, swinging his axe and trying to stop Mattie and Nate. WARNING: Your parents might get scared and worried that you are reading about gross and sometimes violent things. There ARE some scary and gross and really mean things in this book (but it is a made up story - so tell them not to get too scared).

Steve Schatz (Author), Steve Schatz (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Adima Rising

For millennia, the evil Kroledutz have fed on the essence of humans and clashed in secret with the Adima, the light weavers of the universe. Now, with the balance of power shifting toward darkness, time is running out. Guided by a timeless Native American spirit, four teenagers from a small New Mexico town discover they have one month to awaken their inner power and save the world. Rory, Tima, Billy, and James must solve four ancient challenges by the next full moon to awaken a mystical portal and become Adima. If they fail, the last threads of light will dissolve, and the universe will be lost forever. Can they put aside their fears and discover their true natures before it's too late? BOOK ONE of The Adima Chronices: Adima Rising

Steve Schatz (Author), Steve Schatz (Narrator)

Audiobook

Any Summer Sunday at Nacho Mama's Patio Cafe: Drag, Songs, Friends, Laughs, Lies, Danger & Redemptio

Boys in the Band meets La Cage in an Indiana gay bar. A joyous dance of song, drag queens, laughs, lies, friends and a touch of tawdry, grabs you, shakes...stirs, then sets you down with a smile and a kiss. A kaleidoscope of weird jobs, loves, hopes, dreams, rage, loss, music and more. It's a book for anyone who has ever felt different. Every Sunday evening, TiaRa del Fuego's Parade of Gowns drag show presents the best entertainment in our little, Indiana college town in Hoosier Daddy, the only gay bar around. Between sets, we gather for drinks and nachos at Nacho Mama's Patio Cafe. Trading lies, jokes, adventures, celebrations and sorrows, our merry band celebrates the life of the small town gay, safe in the bosom of long-time friends. However, one evening, TiaRa announced she had found "true" love - yet again and was leaving to be with her latest amour. Disaster loomed. We had to face the question: How far will you go to save a friend from her own desires? Over the course of the evening, the Entrepreneur, the Lush, the Boys, the Spy, the Southern Belle, the Fixer and the Storyteller struggle to help TiaRa find joy and avoid trainwrecks because that is what friends do for friends.

Steve Schatz (Author), Steve Schatz (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks Narrated by Steve Schatz