Audiobooks narrated by Dave Barry

You Can Date Boys When You're Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little A

A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times-bestselling author of Insane City In his New York Times-bestselling I'll Mature When I'm Dead, Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families. In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he's serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating-February 24, 2040-I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father's ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers"). Let's face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

I'll Mature When I'm Dead

A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call 'adulthood'. In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ('Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']'), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ('There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM.'), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed 'could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain' (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time. Watch a Video

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

Insane City

Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him—and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable, from his very powerful, very disapproving soon-to-be father-in-law to the federal government to a love-struck orangutan. Seth’s hope for smooth sailing is turning into a trip on the Titanic. And the water is getting deeper by the minute… From the Trade Paperback edition.

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster): Life Lessons from Dave Barry

An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another—or not—from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times–bestselling author of You Can Date Boys When You’re Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on—to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience. In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter, Sophie (who will be getting her learner’s permit in 2015, the thought of which scares Dave silly). He explores the hometown of his youth, when all the men went to the city in suits and hats but still seemed to be having un-Mad Men–like fun, and how they turned into the neurotic hover-parents of today. He dives into everything from Google Glass (bottom line: “You feel like an idiot”) to why men hate birthdays and anniversaries; from How to Speak Spanish to firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just-plain-crazy craziness of Putin’s Russia, and a lot more besides. By the end, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, and more attuned to the universe…it wouldn’t be surprising. But you’ll have had a lot to laugh about!

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

For This We Left Egypt?: A Passover Haggadah for Jews and Those Who Love Them

If you’ve ever suffered through a Passover Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can feel like we’re still in bondage. There are endless stories, frequent hand washing, and not enough eating. The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. For This We Left Egypt? is a hilarious and entertaining parody from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach. These award-winning comedy writers take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your house by setting it on fire with a standard blowtorch (preferably outdoors), to breaking the middle matzah—that is, if you can find a piece that isn’t already broken, to a hilariously absurd retelling of the Passover story featuring Pharaoh Schmuck, a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, and the Promised Land which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. Also included are useless commentary and thought-provoking discussion questions throughout such as: Is Manischewitz considered a plague? Publishing just in time for Passover, this book will be the perfect gift book from G-d that you’ll want to share and laugh over with friends and family.

Adam Mansbach, Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry (Author), Adam Mansbach, Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

Lunatics: A Novel

One of them is a bestselling Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist. The other is a winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Together, they form the League of Comic Justice, battling evildoers in the name of . . . Okay, we made that line up. What they do form is a writing team of pure comic genius, and they will have you laughing like idiots. Philip Horkman is a happy man-the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really bad day. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, terrorists, subversives, bears, and a man dressed as Chuck E. Cheese. Where that all takes them you can't begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration and mayhem. But what else would you expect from the League of Comic Justice? AUTHOR BIOS: Dave Barry's recent bestselling books include his Peter Pan prequels, written with Ridley Pearson; Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far); and I'll Mature When I'm Dead. He lives in Coral Gables, Florida. To learn more about Dave Barry, please visit www.davebarry.com. Alan Zweibel is one of the original Saturday Night Live writer, the winner of multiple Emmy Awards for his television work and the Thurber Prize for his novel The Other Shulman, and collaborator with Billy Crystal on the Tony Award-winning play 700 Sundays. He lives in Short Hills, New Jersey. To learn more about Alan Zweibel, please visit www.alanzweibel.com.

Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry (Author), Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry, Marc Thompson, Orlagh Cassidy, Sean Kenin (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

A 2012 Interview with Alan Zweibel and Dave Barry

Rick Kleffel (Author), Alan Zweibel, Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog

Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and bestselling author Dave Barry reads his latest book on how he learned to age gracefully, taking cues from his beloved and highly intelligent dog, Lucy. Faced with the obstacles and challenges of life after middle age, Dave Barry turns to his best dog, Lucy, to learn how to live his best life. From "Make New Friends" (an unfortunate fail when he can't overcome his dislike for mankind) to "Don't Stop Having Fun" (validating his longtime membership in a marching unit that performs in parades—and even Obama's inauguration), Dave navigates his later years with good humor and grace. Lucy teaches Dave how to live in the present, how to let go of daily grievances, and how to feel good in your own skin. The lessons are drawn from Dave's routine humiliations and stream-of-consciousness accounts of the absurdities of daily life, which will leave readers heaving with laughter and recognition. Laugh-out-loud hilarious, whether he's trying to "Pay Attention to the People You Love" (even when your brain is not listening) or deciding to "Let Go of Your Anger," Dave Barry's Lessons From Lucy is a witty and wise guide to joyous living.

Dave Barry (Author), Dave Barry (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks Narrated by Dave Barry