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The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen Audiobook

Translated by Hester Velmans For fans of A Man Called Ove comes a funny, big-hearted tale about an old man who is young at heart. "Tears were streaming down my face - from laughing so hard. I couldn't stop grinning for three days." - Ouderenjournaal (Holland) Hendrik Groen may be old, but he is far from dead and isn't planning to be buried any time soon. Granted, his daily strolls are getting shorter because his legs are no longer willing and he has to visit his doctor more than he'd like. Technically speaking he is...elderly. But surely there is more to life at his age than weak tea and potted geraniums? Hendrik sets out to write an exposé: a year in the life of his care home in Amsterdam, revealing all its ups and downs--not least his new endeavor the anarchic Old-But-Not-Dead Club. And when Eefje moves in--the woman Hendrik has always longed for--he polishes his shoes (and his teeth), grooms what's left of his hair and attempts to make something of the life he has left, with hilarious, tender and devastating consequences. The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen will not only delight older readers with its wit and relevance, but will charm and inspire those who have years to go before their own expiry date.

Hendrik Groen (Author), Derek Jacobi (Narrator)

Audiobook

Girl Up: Kick Ass, Claim Your Woman Card, and Crush Everyday Sexism

Already an international bestseller, this empowering survival guide provides no-nonsense advice on sex, social media, mental health, and sexism that young women face in their everyday life-from one of the emerging leaders in the feminist movement. They told you that you need to be thin and beautiful. They told you to wear longer skirts, avoid going out late at night, and move in groups-never accept drinks from a stranger, and wear shoes you can run in more easily than heels. They told you to wear just enough make-up to look presentable but not enough to be a slut; to dress to flatter your apple, pear, hourglass figure, but not to reveal too much. They warned you that if you try to be strong, or take control, you'll be shrill, bossy, a ballbreaker. Of course it's fine for the boys, but you should know your place. They told you "that's not for girls"-"take it as a compliment"-"don't rock the boat"-"that'll go straight to your hips." They told you "beauty is on the inside," but you knew they didn't really mean it. Well, screw that. Laura Bates is here to tell you something else. Hilarious, bold, and unapologetic, Girl Up exposes the truth about the pressures surrounding body image, the false representations in media, the complexities of sex and relationships, the trials of social media, and all the other lies society has told us. **Contact Customer Service for Additional Material**

Laura Bates (Author), Arden Hammersmith (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere but the Pool

This program is read by the authors. "Lisa and Francesca, mother and daughter, bring you the laughter of their lives." -Delia Ephron, bestselling author The bestselling and "perennially hilarious" mother-daughter team is back with a new collection of stories from their real lives, guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Join Lisa and Francesca as they regret drunk-shopping online, try smell-dating, and explore the freedom of a hiatus from men - a Guyatus. They offer a fresh and funny take on the triumphs and facepalm moments of modern life, showing that when it comes to navigating the crazy world we live in, you're always your own best lifeguard.

Francesca Serritella, Lisa Scottoline (Author), Francesca Serritella, Lisa Scottoline (Narrator)

Audiobook

Nuclear Family: A Tragicomic Novel in Letters

From filmmaker and New Yorker contributor Susanna Fogel comes a comedic novel about a fractured family of New England Jews and their discontents. Told entirely in letters to a heroine we never meet, we get to know the Fellers through their check-ins with Julie over the course of three decades: their thank-you notes, letters of condolence, family gossip, and good old-fashioned familial passive-aggression.Together, their missives-some sardonic, others absurd, others heartbreaking-weave a tapestry of a very modern family trying (and often failing) to show one another they care.The titular "nuclear family" includes, among many others, a narcissistic former-child-prodigy father who has taken up haiku writing in his old age and his new wife, a traditional Chinese woman whose attempts to help her stepdaughter find a man include FedExing her silk gowns from Filene's Basement; their six-year-old son, Stuart, whose favorite condiment is truffle oil and who wears suits to bed; and Julie's mother, a psychologist who never remarried but may be in love with her arrogant Rabbi and overshares about everything, including the threesome she had with Dutch grad students in 1972.

Susanna Fogel (Author), Full Cast (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Like You

Recorded at Comedy On State in Madison, Wisconsin, I LIKE YOU is Josh Johnson's first album with Comedy Central Records. Laid back in attitude yet delightfully confessional, Josh isn't afraid to reveal that he has a hard time talking to women or that he eats paper. What he is afraid of is getting tackled in football and not being able to turn off his ceiling fan. 1 Party 1:41 2 Possum 2:02 3 Dog Walker Interview 2:12 4 NY Bully 1:51 5 Breakup Text 1:57 6 Dumb 1:37 7 Haunted 1:58 8 High Pitch Workout 3:11 9 Black History Month 0:49 10 Sports 6:05 11 Road Gig 2:28 12 Mugged 2:25 13 Stolen Phone 1:31 14 Scream 1:51 15 Bologna 6:00 16 Choke 1:47 17 Living Alone 5:53 18 Trying To Be A Good Person 1:40 19 Grocery Store 3:08 20 Dr. Phil 0:59 21 Ceiling Fan 2:38

Josh Johnson (Author), Josh Johnson (Narrator)

Audiobook

[Russian Edition] Murphy's Laws

This is the most vital and at the same time funny audiobook that you have ever listened to! The famous Murphy law, better known as the law of meanness, was formulated in 1949. And since then, perhaps, each of us has more than once been convinced of the vitality and truthfulness of this rule: "If any trouble can occur, it will happen." But very few people know that in fact the list of Murphy's laws does not exhaust this rule! And meanwhile, they very accurately describe our life! After Murphy's quote became known to the world, new laws began to appear. The authors of many similar rules are famous people. The creators of others remain unknown. But there is something that unites all these laws - they perfectly explain the reasons why something in your life or business goes wrong. Read, listen and laugh! And remember that every joke is just a joke.

John Murphy (Author), Denis Garmash (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Amazing Book of Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock. Who's there? The Amazing Book of Knock Knock Jokes. The Amazing Book of Knock Knock Jokes who? The Amazing Ummm... let's start again. This book, The Amazing Book of Knock Knock Jokes, contains one hundred and fifty hilarious jokes for kids of all ages, as well as a short section on the history of the joke style that will probably interest your parents (but it's OK, you can skip over that bit). The author believes that every single one of these jokes will make your head fall off with laughter and your sides split with mirth, so highly recommends exercising caution. Although wouldn't it be great if your head really DID fall off?! Let's find out...

Jack Goldstein (Author), Kent Harris (Narrator)

Audiobook

Big Book of Jokes [Russian Edition]

Various (Author), Irina Solovieva (Narrator)

Audiobook

Bleak Expectations: The complete BBC Radio 4 series

The complete collected series 1-5 of the gloriously daft Victorian Romp, Bleak Expectations.Gasp at the evil Mr Gently Benevolent, played by Mr Anthony Head! Weep at the trials of our young hero Pip Bin, played by Master Tom Allen! Be moved to joy and sorrow by the remarkable narration of Mr Richard Johnson! Swoon at the fragile beauty of Pip’s poor Mama, played by Miss Celia Imrie! Wonder at the thespian prowess of Mr Geoffrey Whitehead as six different siblings! Follow the remarkable adventures of young Pip Bin as he struggles to rescue himself and his sisters from the schemes of his evil and badly-named guardian Mr Gently Benevolent, and the blood-curdling Hardthrasher family. Immerse yourself in a timeless epic featuring terrifying schools, even worse prisons, opium dens, disguises, court-cases, shipwrecks, underwater squirrels and swash-buckling long-lost aunts. Revel in the many fine quips, characters and scenarios written by Mr. Mark Evans and produced by Mr. Gareth Edwards, previously renowned for their craftsmanship on the works of Messrs. Mitchell and Webb. Series 1: Televised as 'The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff' on the BBC. Episodes: A Childhood Cruelly Kippered, An Adolescence Utterly Trashed, A Youth Utterly Crocked, A Young Adult Bitterly Dismantled, A Young Love Mercilessly Dismembered, A Life Sadly Smashed then happily restored A Bit. Series 2: A Happy Life Cruelly Re-Kippered, A Re-kippered Life Smashed Some More, A Recovery Made Miserable, A Restoration Re-Ruined Only Even Worse, An Already Bed Life Made Worse But Sort of on Purpose, A Happy Life Broken and then Mended A Bit. Series 3: A Lovely Life Re-Kippered Again Once More, A Now Grim Life Yet More Grimmified, A Sort of Fine Life De-niced Completely, A Horrible Life Un-ruined and then Re-ruined Again, An Evil Life Sort of Explined, Lives Lost, Ruined Wrecked and Redeemed.Series 4: A Tolerable Life De-Happified, A New-Spoiled Life Smashed Some More, A Wretched Life Made Much Much Sadder, A Painful Life Re-Miserablised, A Now Tricky Life Woefully Miseried Up, A Life Destroyed then Repaired and Re-Happied. Series 5: A Pleasant Yet Dull Life Re-Evilled, A Re-Excited Life Made Distinctly Dangerous, An Alrightish Life Savagely Frozen to Bits, A Writerly Life Made Dreadfully Different, A Terrifying Life Made Even Scarier a Bit Some More, A Loved-Up Life Potentially Totally Annihilated.

Mark Evans (Author), Anthony Head, Celia Imrie, David Mitchell, Geoffrey Whitehead, Jane Asher, Raquel Cassidy, Richard Johnson (Narrator)

Audiobook

Round the Horne Compendium: Classic BBC Radio Comedy

A fascinating and hilarious collection of archive rarities - plus two restored episodes - from the much loved BBC radio comedy series Starring Kenneth Horne, Kenneth Williams, Hugh Paddick, Betty Marsden and Bill Pertwee, Round the Horne breathed daring new life over the BBC radio airwaves from 1965 to 1968, a madcap mix of daring double entendres, captivating characters and bawdy badinage. In this exhaustive collection of rare material, two complete episodes - Series 1, Episode 5 and Series 1, Episode 15 - are presented complete and remastered, alongside a cornucopia of previously unpublished segments from the series' original run. In addition there's a host of rarities from the BBC Sound Archive and other sources, including the cast's appearance on Sounds Familiar and Kenneth Horne's autobiographical turn on The Time of My Life, both from 1968. These are followed by A Tribute to Kenneth Horne from 1969, Round and Round the Horne from 1977, and Horne of Plenty from 2004. There's also a selection of rarely heard interviews with cast and writers, two sketches in celebration of Much Binding in the Marsh, and more.

Barry Took, Marty Feldman (Author), , Full Cast, Kenneth Horne, Kenneth Williams, Various Narrators (Narrator)

Audiobook

Das neue total gefälschte Geheim-Tagebuch vom Mann von Frau Merkel, Season 3, Folge 1: GTMM KW 24

Die Radiosatire mit Christoph Maria Herbst. Mutti hat zu tun. Neben Brexit, Erdogan und Böhmermann muss sich Angela jetzt auch noch um die Bundestagswahl kümmern. Immer an Ihrer Seite - natürlich ihr Liebster. Prof. Dr. Dr. h.c. Joachim Sauer hält Muttis Raute, wenn sie mal nicht mehr weiter weiß. Christoph Maria Herbst leiht dem Mann seine Stimme, von dem niemand weiß, wie er spricht. Die Themen dieser Woche: Hobby Aquarium: Angela braucht ein Hobby, dass sie von ihrem Arbeitsalltag ablenkt. Verhandlungsstrategien: Wie werden in der Koalition eigentlich Kompromisse gefunden? Trumps Geburtstag: Der US-Präsident ruft die Kanzlerin an, er ist wütend, sie kühl. SPD-Slogan: Welcher Partei-Slogan kommt wohl am besten an?

Nomen Nominandum (Author), Christoph Maria Herbst (Narrator)

Audiobook

Das neue total gefälschte Geheim-Tagebuch vom Mann von Frau Merkel, Season 3, Folge 2: GTMM KW 25

Die Radiosatire mit Christoph Maria Herbst. Mutti hat zu tun. Neben Brexit, Erdogan und Böhmermann muss sich Angela jetzt auch noch um die Bundestagswahl kümmern. Immer an Ihrer Seite - natürlich ihr Liebster. Prof. Dr. Dr. h.c. Joachim Sauer hält Muttis Raute, wenn sie mal nicht mehr weiter weiß. Christoph Maria Herbst leiht dem Mann seine Stimme, von dem niemand weiß, wie er spricht. Die Themen dieser Woche: Wahlkampfsong: Angela braucht eine Auftrittsmusik für ihren Wahlkampf. Welcher Song dafür wohl in Frage kommt? Sperrmüll: Der Dachboden ist viel zu voll. Angela und ihr Mann melden Sperrmüll an. Wahlkampf Altenheim: Angela hat einen Wahlkampfauftritt in einem Altenheim. Die Formel zur Fahrrad-Reparatur: Angela und Ihr Mann möchten zusammen die Reifen ihrer Fahrräder reparieren. Grillen: Gar nicht einfach eine Grillparty mit Politikern.

Nomen Nominandum (Author), Christoph Maria Herbst (Narrator)

Audiobook