Audiobooks by Joe R. Lansdale

Hap is an East Texas smart mouth with a weakness for southern women. Leonard is a gay, black veteran pining for a lost love. They're not the makings of your typical dynamic duo, but never underestimate the power of a shared affinity for stirring up trouble and causing mayhem. When an old friend asks Leonard to rescue his daughter from an abusive, no-good drug dealer, he gladly agrees and, of course, invites Hap along for the fun. Even though the dealer may be lowly, he is on the bottom rung of the Dixie Mafia, and when Hap and Leonard come calling, the Mafia feels a little payback is in order. Cars crash, shotguns blast, and people die, but Hap and Leonard come out on top. Unfortunately for them, now they're facing not only jail time but also the legendary - and lethal - Vanilla Ride, who is still out to claim the price on their heads.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Narrator)

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The Two-Bear Mambo

Full of savage humor, heart-stopping suspense, and a cast of characters so tough they could chew the bumper off a pickup truck, The Two Bear Mambo is classic country noir. In this rollicking, rollercoaster ride of a novel, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine take a break from their day jobs to search for Florida Grange, Leonard's drop-dead gorgeous lawyer and Hap's former lover, who has vanished in the Klan-infested East Texas town of Grovetown. Before she disappeared, Florida was digging up some dirt behind the mysterious jailhouse death of a legendary bluesman's son, who was in possession of some priceless merchandise. To Hap and Leonard, something don't smell right. With murder on their minds, Hap and Leonard set out to investigate as only they know how...chaotically. "Lansdale has a zest for storytelling and a gimlet eye for detail." - Entertainment Weekly "Lansdale's prose, both laconic and sarcastic, is so thick with slang and regional accent that it's as tasty as a well-cured piece of beef jerky. Readers will want to savor each bite." - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Narrator)

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The Thicket

ALA Reading List Award for History, Short List Love and vengeance at the dark dawn of the East Texas oil boom from Joe Lansdale, "a true American original" (Joe Hill, author of Heart-Shaped Box). Jack Parker thought he'd already seen his fair share of tragedy. His grandmother was killed in a farm accident when he was barely five years old. His parents have just succumbed to the smallpox epidemic sweeping turn-of-the-century East Texas--orphaning him and his younger sister, Lula. Then catastrophe strikes on the way to their uncle's farm, when a traveling group of bank-robbing bandits murder Jack's grandfather and kidnap his sister. With no elders left for miles, Jack must grow up fast and enlist a band of heroes the likes of which has never been seen if his sister stands any chance at survival. But the best he can come up with is a charismatic, bounty-hunting dwarf named Shorty, a grave-digging son of an ex-slave named Eustace, and a street-smart woman-for-hire named Jimmie Sue who's come into some very intimate knowledge about the bandits (and a few members of Jack's extended family to boot). In the throes of being civilized, East Texas is still a wild, feral place. Oil wells spurt liquid money from the ground. But as Jack's about to find out, blood and redemption rule supreme. In The Thicket, award-winning novelist Joe R. Lansdale lets loose like never before, in a rip-roaring adventure equal parts True Gritand Stand by Me--the perfect introduction to an acclaimed writer whose work has been called "as funny and frightening as anything that could have been dreamed up by the Brothers Grimm--or Mark Twain" (New York Times Book Review).

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Will Collyer (Narrator)

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Sunset and Sawdust

He has been called hilarious . . . refreshing . . . a terrifically gifted storyteller with a sharp country-boy wit (Washington Post Book World), and praised for his folklorists eye for telling detail and [his] front-porch raconteurs sense of pace (New York Times Book Review). Now, Joe R. Landsdale gives us a fast-moving, electrifying new novel: a murder mystery set in a steamy backwater of Depression-era East Texas. It begins with an explosion: Sunset Jones kills her husband with a bullet to the brain. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of the small sawmill town of Camp Rapture (Camp Rupture to the local blacks), where no woman, least of all Pete's, refuses her husband what he wants. So most everyone is surprised and angry when, thanks to the unexpected understanding of her mother-in-law, three-quarter owner of the mill, Sunset is named the new constable. And they're even more surprised when she dares to take the job seriously: beginning an investigation into the murder of a woman and an unborn baby whose oil-drenched bodies are discovered buried on land belonging to the only black landowner in town. Yet no one is more surprised than Sunset herself when the murders lead her, through a labyrinth of greed, corruption, and unspeakable malice, not only to the shocking conclusion of the case, but to a well of inner strength she never knew she had. Landsdale brings the thick backwoods and swamps of East Texas vividly to life, and he paints a powerfully evocative picture of a time when Jim Crow and the Klan ruled virtually unopposed, when the oil boom was rolling into and over Texas, when any woman who didn't know her place was considered a threat and a target. In Sunset, he gives us a woman who defies all expectations, wrestling a different place for herself with spirit and spit, cunning and courage. And in Sunset and Sawdust he gives us a wildly energetic novel, galvanizing from first to last. From the Hardcover edition.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Deborah Marlowe (Narrator)

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Savage Season

A rip-roaring, high-octane, Texas-sized thriller, featuring two friends, one vixen, a crew of washed-up radicals, loads of money, and bloody mayhem. Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are best friends, yet they couldn't be more different. Hap is an East Texas white boy with a weakness for Texas women. Leonard is a black, gay Vietnam vet. Together, they stir up more commotion than a fire storm. But that's just the way they like it. So when as ex-flame of Hap's returns promising a huge score, Hap lets Leonard in on the scam, and that's when things get interesting. Chockful of action and laughs, Savage Season is the masterpiece of dark suspense that introduced Hap and Leonard to the thriller scene. It hasn't been the same since. "The most consistently original and originally visceral writer the great state of Texas (or any other state for that matter) has seen in a score of flashpoint summers." - The Austin Chronicle "Lansdale has an unsettling sensibility. Be thankful he crafts such wild tall tales." - Chicago Sun-Times

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Narrator)

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Rusty Puppy

Hap and Leonard investigate a racially motivated murder that threatens to tear apart their East Texas town. While Hap, a former 60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, is recovering from a life-threatening stab wound, Louise Elton comes into Hap and Leonard's PI office to tell him that the police have killed her son, Jamar. Months earlier, a bully cop pulled over and sexually harassed Jamar's sister, Charm. The officer followed Charm over the course of the next couple of months, leading Jamar to videotape and take notes on the cop and his partner. The next thing Louise hears, Jamar got in a fight and is killed in the projects by local hoods. It doesn't add up: he was a straight A student, destined for better things, until he began to ask too many questions about the racist police force. Leonard, a tough black gay Vietnam vet and Republican, joins Hap in the investigation, and they stumble upon the racial divides that have shaped their Eastern Texas town. But if anyone can navigate these pitfalls and bring the killers to justice, it's Hap and Leonard. Filled with Lansdale's trademark whip-smart dialogue, colorful characters, and relentless pacing, Rusty Puppy is Joe Lansdale at his page-turning best.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Christopher Ryan Grant (Narrator)

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Rumble Tumble

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are in for an action-packed adventure when they cross paths with a towering Pentecostal preacher, a midget with a giant attitude, and a gang of bikers turned soldiers of fortune. Even though a midlife crisis just crashed into Hap Collins like a runaway pickup, he's still got his job, he knows his best friend, Leonard Pine, will always be there for him, and, of course, he's got his main squeeze, Brett Sawyer. Things hit a new low, however, when Brett's daughter, Tillie, who's been walking on the wrong side of the law, suddenly stands in need of a rescue. It won't be easy - it never is - but nothing is going to stop Hap and Leonard as they hit the road destined for Hootie Hoot, Oklahoma, to shake things up. And with Hap and Leonard at the wheel, this promises to be a wild ride. "Hilarious. . . . Addictively scarfable. . . . Two thumbs-up, and pardon the barbecue smears." - Texas Monthly "[Joe Lansdale is] master at taking a simple everyday event and turning reality upside down." - Mystery Scene

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Narrator)

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Paradise Sky

A Library Journal Best Book of 2015! A rollicking novel about Nat Love, an African-American cowboy with a famous nickname: Deadwood Dick. Young Willie is on the run, having fled his small Texas farm when an infamous local landowner murdered his father. A man named Loving takes him in and trains him in the fine arts of shooting, riding, reading, and gardening. When Loving dies, Willie re-christens himself Nat Love in tribute to his mentor, and heads west. In Deadwood, South Dakota Territory, Nat becomes a Buffalo Soldier and is befriended by Wild Bill Hickok. After winning a famous shooting match, Nat's peerless marksmanship and charm earn him the nickname Deadwood Dick, as well as a beautiful woman. But the hellhounds are still on his trail, and they brutally attack Nat Love's love. Pursuing the men who have driven his wife mad, Nat heads south for a final, deadly showdown against those who would strip him of his home, his love, his freedom, and his life.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Brad Sanders (Narrator)

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Of Mice and Minestrone: Hap and Leonard: The Early Years

A brand-new Hap and Leonard series collection chock full of Joe R. Lansdale’s inimitable blend of humor, mayhem, and insight, Of Mice and Minestrone delivers never-before-seen stories, a selection of the boys’ favorite recipes, by Kasey Lansdale, and an introduction from New York Times bestselling crime author Kathleen Kent. “An absolute treasure trove.”—Ace Atkins, author of The Shameless “Of Mice and Minestrone is classic Lansdale at his legendary best.... Compelling. Hilarious. Poignant'—NY Journal of Books Today’s Special: Justice, East Texan-Style Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing—all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food. So pull up a seat and sit a spell. Master storyteller Joe R. Lansdale—along with Kasey Lansdale’s down-home recipes and Kathleen Kent’s introduction—has cooked up a new passel of tales for you about the unlikeliest duo East Texas has to offer, created by his own self. About the Hap and Leonard short story series Hap and Leonard Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade The Big Book of Hap and Leonard (digital only) Lansdale’s duo made their screen debuts in the three season Hap and Leonard television series, starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), James Purefoy (The Following), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men).

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jd Jackson (Narrator)

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Nights of the Living Dead: An Anthology

In 1968, the world experienced a brand-new kind of terror with the debut of George A. Romero's landmark movie Night of the Living Dead. The newly dead rose to attack the living. Not as vampires or werewolves. This was something new ... and terrifying. Since then, zombies have invaded every aspect of popular culture.But it all started on that dreadful night in a remote farmhouse ... Nights of the Living Dead returns to that night, to the outbreak, to where it all began. New York Times bestselling author Jonathan Maberry teams with the godfather of the living dead himself, George A. Romero, to present a collection of all-new tales set during the forty-eight hours of that legendary outbreak.Nights of the Living Dead includes stories by some of today's most important writers: Brian Keene, Carrie Ryan, Chuck Wendig, Craig E. Engler, David J. Schow, David Wellington, Isaac Marion, Jay Bonansinga, Joe R. Lansdale, John A. Russo, John Skipp, Keith R. A. DeCandido, Max Brallier, Mike Carey, Mira Grant, Neal and Brendan Shusterman, and Ryan Brown. Plus original stories by Romero and Maberry!For anyone who loves scary stories, take a bite out of this!

George A. Romero, Joe R. Lansdale, Jonathan Maberry, Various Authors, Various Authors (Author), Adenrele Ojo, Gabrielle De Cuir, Gabrielle de Cuir, Kasey Lansdale, Kristoffer Tabori, Nicholas Guy Smith, Nicholas Guy Smith, Ray Porter, Rex Linn, Richard Gilliland, Stefan Rudnicki, Various, Various Narrators, Various Narrators (Narrator)

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Mucho Mojo

Hap and Leonard return in this incredible, mad-dash thriller, loaded with crack addicts, a serial killer, and a body count. Leonard is still nursing the injuries he sustained in the duo's last wild undertaking when he learns that his Uncle Chester has passed. Hap is of course going to be there for his best friend and offers to help clean Uncle Chester's dilapidated house, they uncover a dark little secret beneath the house's rotting floor boards - a small skeleton buried in a trunk. Hap wants to call the police. Leonard being a black man in east Texas, persuades him this is not a good idea, and together they set out to clear Chester's name on their own. The only things standing in their way is a houseful of felons, a vicious killer, and possibly themselves. "Lansdale's prose has the mean terseness of James M. Cain...Welds the grungy nihilism of pulp to the delibrate exaggerations of the tall tale." - Newsday "Like 10-alarm chili, Lansdale is pretty hot stuff." - People

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Narrator)

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Moon Lake

From an Edgar award-winning author comes the gripping and unexpected tale of a lost town and the dark secrets that lie beneath the glittering waters of an East Texas lake. Daniel Russell was only thirteen years old when his father tried to kill them both by driving their car into Moon Lake. Miraculously surviving the crash-and growing into adulthood-Daniel returns to the site of this traumatic incident in the hopes of recovering his father's car and bones. As he attempts to finally put to rest the memories that have plagued him for years, he discovers something even more shocking among the wreckage that has ties to a twisted web of dark deeds, old grudges, and strange murders. As Daniel diligently follows where the mysterious trail of vengeance leads, he unveils the heroic revelation at its core.

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Jason Culp (Narrator)

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