Audiobooks by Delilah S. Dawson

Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell Audiobook

In an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. "Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett."-Chuck Wendig "When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!"-Terry Brooks Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed. Praise for Kill the Farm Boy "A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style . . . a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy à la Terry Pratchett's Discworld."-Kirkus Reviews "Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly."-SyFy "A smart comedy . . . nuanced, complicated, and human."-Tordotcom "[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella."-Publishers Weekly

Delilah S. Dawson, Kevin Hearne (Author), Luke Daniels (Narrator)

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Galaxy's Edge: Black Spire

Brought to you by Penguin. Walk the ancient streets, meet the colorful characters, and uncover the secret history of Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge, the upcoming expansion to the Disney Parks experience! After devastating losses at the hands of the First Order, General Leia Organa has dispatched her agents across the galaxy in search of allies, sanctuary, and firepower-and her top spy, Vi Moradi, may have just found all three, on a secluded world at the galaxy's edge. A planet of lush forests, precarious mountains, and towering, petrified trees, Batuu is on the furthest possible frontier of the galactic map, the last settled world before the mysterious expanse of Wild Space. The rogues, smugglers, and adventurers who eke out a living on the largest settlement on the planet, Black Spire Outpost, are here to avoid prying eyes and unnecessary complications. Vi, a Resistance spy on the run from the First Order, is hardly a welcome guest. And when a shuttle full of stormtroopers lands in her wake, determined to root her out, she has no idea where to find help. To survive, Vi will have to seek out the good-hearted heroes hiding in a world that redefines scum and villainy. With the help of a traitorous trooper and her acerbic droid, she begins to gather a colorful band of outcasts and misfits, and embarks on a mission to spark the fire of resistance on Batuu-before the First Order snuffs it out entirely.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), January Lavoy (Narrator)

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Minecraft: Mob Squad: Never Say Nether: An Official Minecraft Novel

The Mob Squad enters a whole new dimension of danger in this official Minecraft novel! Things are changing in the town of Cornucopia. The mighty wall that kept the townsfolk sealed off from the outside world is wide open, and the world beyond beckons with the promise of new adventures. The Mob Squad were heroes not so long ago, but the adults are still in charge, and to them, even the most heroic kid is still just a kid. The Mob Squad's leader, Mal, is still milking cows and dreaming of the next adventure. Their sharp-eyed archer Lenna is learning everything she can about the Overworld, but the horizon is still far away. Fearless warrior Chug is running a store with his brother, but his reputation for breaking stuff has some folks still calling him a bad apple. And his inventive brother, Tok . . . Wait, where did Tok go?! When the fourth member of the Mob Squad vanishes in the night, along with most of the town's potions, Cornucopia's elders think they're dealing with a runaway thief. But Tok wouldn't just leave without saying anything. And there's no way he's a potion thief! There's something far more dangerous going on here. And if they're going to stop it, Mal, Lenna, and Chug are on their own. Except, that is, for the one Cornucopian they least want to bring along: Jarro, the worst bully in the Overworld. But if they're going to find Tok, they can't just be three best friends and one total jerk. They're going to need to learn how to work together all over again-because this is an adventure that can be accomplished only by the Mob Squad!

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Barrett Leddy, Jamie K. Brown, Jessica Almasy, Keylor Leigh, Michael Crouch (Narrator)

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Star Wars Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade

Brought to you by Penguin. When the Jedi Order falls, the Inquisitors rise. From the aftermath of Order 66 comes a new group of former Jedi, each with their own reason to serve the Empire under Darth Vader. Among them is Iskat, who survived the destruction of her old Order to claim a new destiny in the Force. Iskat joins the Inquisitors in the hope of uncovering her hidden past that the Jedi refused to share with her. ©2023 Delilah S. Dawson (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Kristen Sieh (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Perfect Weapon (Star Wars) (Short Story)

Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens with this exclusive ebook short story set shortly before the events of the film, featuring a quick-witted mercenary who takes big risks for bigger rewards—and now faces the challenge that will take her to the edge. There are plenty of mercenaries, spies, and guns for hire in the galaxy. But probably none as dangerous and determined as Bazine Netal. A master of disguise—and lethal with a blade, a blaster, or bare handed—she learned from the best. Now it’s her turn to be the teacher—even if schooling an eager but inexperienced recruit in the tricks of her trade is the last thing she wants to do. But it’s the only way to score the ship she needs to pull off her latest job. An anonymous client has hired Bazine to track down an ex-stormtrooper and recover the mysterious package he’s safeguarding. Payment for the mission promises to be astronomical, but the obstacles facing Bazine will prove to be formidable. And though her eager new sidekick has cyber skills crucial to the mission, only Bazine’s razor-sharp talents will mean the difference between success or failure—and life or death.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), January LaVoy (Narrator)

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Phasma (Star Wars): Journey to Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Discover Captain Phasma's mysterious history in this "Journey to Star Wars: The Last Jedi" novel. One of the most cunning and merciless officers of the First Order, Captain Phasma commands the favor of her superiors, the respect of her peers, and the terror of her enemies. But for all her renown, Phasma remains as virtually unknown as the impassive expression on her gleaming chrome helmet. Now, an adversary is bent on unearthing her mysterious origins-and exposing a secret she guards as zealously and ruthlessly as she serves her masters. Deep inside the Battlecruiser Absolution, a captured Resistance spy endures brutal interrogation at the hands of a crimson-armored stormtrooper-Cardinal. But the information he desires has nothing to do with the Resistance or its covert operations against the First Order. What the mysterious stormtrooper wants is Phasma's past-and with it whatever long-buried scandal, treachery, or private demons he can wield against the hated rival who threatens his own power and privilege in the ranks of the First Order. His prisoner has what Cardinal so desperately seeks, but she won't surrender it easily. As she wages a painstaking war of wills with her captor, bargaining for her life in exchange for every precious revelation, the spellbinding chronicle of the inscrutable Phasma unfolds. But this knowledge may prove more than just dangerous once Cardinal possesses it-and once his adversary unleashes the full measure of her fury.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), January LaVoy (Narrator)

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Mine

'A fiendishly creepy ghost story.'--Chuck Wendig, New York Times bestselling author of Dust & Grim 'Gross, sweet, exciting, and absolutely hide-under-the-covers terrifying, I loved it."--Katherine Arden, bestselling author of Small Spaces A twisty, terrifying supernatural mystery about twelve-year-old Lily, her creepy new home in Florida, and the territorial ghost of the young girl who lived there before her. Lily Horne is a drama queen. It's helped her rise to stardom in the school play, but it's also landed her in trouble. Her parents warn her that Florida has to be different. It's a fresh start. No theatrics. But this time, the drama is coming for her. Her new house is a real nightmare. . . The pool is full of slime, the dock is rotten, and the swamp creeps closer every day. But worst of all, the house isn't empty . . . it's packed full of trash, memories, and, Lily begins to fear, the ghost of the girl who lived there before her. And whatever is waiting in the shadows wants to come out to play.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Sophie Amoss (Narrator)

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Minecraft: Mob Squad

Come with the Mob Squad on an amazing adventure through the Overworld in this official Minecraft novel! The village of Cornucopia is practically perfect in every way. Plenty of food, cozy homes, and a huge wall to keep everyone safe from the scary world outside. What more could a kid possibly need? Well, a lot, actually. Mal, a fearless girl, needs adventure, and her friends are right there with her: Lenna, a dreamer whose family underestimates her every day. Tok and Chug, brothers who love to build stuff (Tok) and smash stuff (Chug). They're best friends, and in a town whose grown-ups value safety over bravery and fitting in over standing out, they're the bad apples. But when a mysterious mob sneaks past Cornucopia's defenses, the village is in huge trouble. And nobody knows what to do. Finally faced with the adventure she's always wanted, Mal and her friends defy the rules their elders have always followed and set out beyond the wall for the first time. On their journey across the Overworld, they discover wonders they've never dreamed of and dangers they've never imagined. To save the day, they'll have to prove they're more than bad apples. They're the Mob Squad!

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Barrett Leddy, Jessica Almasy, Keylor Leigh, Michael Crouch (Narrator)

Audiobook

Carniepunk: The Three Lives of Lydia: A BLUD Short Story

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Candace Thaxton (Narrator)

Audiobook

Hit

In order to save her mother, a teen is forced to become an indentured assassin in this sizzling dystopian thriller.No one reads the fine print. The good news is that the USA is finally out of debt. The bad news is that we were bought out by Valor National Bank, and debtors are the new big game, thanks to a tricky little clause hidden deep in the fine print of a credit card application. Now, after a swift and silent takeover that leaves 9-1-1 calls going through to Valor voicemail, they're unleashing a wave of anarchy across the country. Patsy didn't have much of a choice. When the suits showed up at her house threatening to kill her mother then and there for outstanding debt unless Patsy agreed to be an indentured assassin, what was she supposed to do? Let her own mother die? Patsy is forced to take on a five-day mission to complete a hit list of ten names. Each name on Patsy's list has only three choices: pay the debt on the spot, agree to work as a bounty hunter, or die. And Patsy has to kill them personally, or else her mom takes a bullet of her own. Since yarn bombing is the only anarchy in Patsy's past, she's horrified and overwhelmed, especially as she realizes that most of the ten people on her list aren't strangers. Things get even more complicated when a moment of mercy lands her with a sidekick: a hot rich kid named Wyatt whose brother is the last name on Patsy's list. The two share an intense chemistry even as every tick of the clock draws them closer to an impossible choice. Delilah S. Dawson offers an absorbing, frightening glimpse at a reality just steps away from ours-a taut, suspenseful thriller that absolutely mesmerizes from start to finish.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Rebekkah Ross (Narrator)

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Strike

From the author of the "gritty near-future dystopian tale," (Booklist) Hit comes the thrilling sequel about an indentured assassin fighting to survive in a world of anarchy.The hit list was just the beginning. Time to strike back. After faking her own death to escape her term as an indentured assassin for Valor Savings Bank, Patsy is on the run with her boyfriend, Wyatt. All she wants to do is go home, but that's never going to happen-not as long as Valor's out to get her and the people she loves. Left with no good choices, Patsy's only option is to meet with a mysterious group that calls itself the Citizens for Freedom. Led by the charismatic Leon Crane, the CFF seem like just what Patsy has been looking for. Leon promises that if she joins, she'll finally get revenge on Valor for everything they've done to her-and for everything they've made her do. But Patsy knows the CFF has a few secrets of their own. One thing is certain: they'll do absolutely anything to complete their mission, no matter who's standing in their way. Even if it's Patsy herself. Delilah S. Dawson brings anarchy and high-octane drama to the next explosive level in this sequel to the "practically movie-ready" (Kirkus Reviews) novel, Hit.

Delilah S. Dawson (Author), Rebekkah Ross (Narrator)

Audiobook

Stories of Jedi and Sith

THE ETERNAL FIGHT BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL… The brave Jedi vs the devious Sith! Just in time to celebrate the highly-anticipated re-match between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader in the Disney+ forthcoming event Obi-Wan Kenobi, here are ten original stories about the the valiant Jedi and the evil Sith. Larger-than-life characters clash in epic lightsaber battles that will appeal to young readers and to the young Star Wars fan in all of us! Ten acclaimed authors imagine new tales for some of the most iconic Star Wars characters ever, from Luke Skywalker to Darth Vader, from Obi-Wan Kenobi to Darth Maul, and beyond. With illustrations by Jake Bartok.

Alex Segura, Delilah S. Dawson, Karen Strong, Michael Kogge, Michael Moreci, Roseanne A. Brown, Sam Maggs, Sarwat Chadda, Tessa Gratton, Vera Strange (Author), Eric Bauza, Erin Yvette, Fred Tatasciore, Helen Sadler, Marc Thompson, Meredith Salenger, Nika Futterman, Sam Witwer, Todd Haberkorn (Narrator)

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